Sams gas hours
ImmutableX - THE FIRST LAYER 2 FOR NFTS ON ETHEREUM - With Zero Gas Fees
2021.12.10 09:54 Puzzleheaded-Mud6783 ImmutableX - THE FIRST LAYER 2 FOR NFTS ON ETHEREUM - With Zero Gas Fees
ImmutableX - Experience zero gas fees, instant trades, and carbon neutral NFTs for marketplaces, games, and applications without compromise. Build your NFT business in hours with our APIs.
2021.06.13 16:17 EyesToJupiter
In this astro - community we will post photos of Jupiter the whole time in order to see Jupiter at the lastest seen / data so we can predict and discuss about this gas giant planet. The goal that we need to strive is every ½ hour to have an updated image of Jupiter itself (Jupiter's moons are not importent at the moment), these are the five stages before we will attainable our goal: 1) every 10 hours. 2) every 5 hours. 3) every 3 hours. 4) every 1 hour. 5) every ½ hour. Join us in this journey!
2013.02.28 09:41 Vailhem HydroElectric
A reddit dedicated to the production of energy from the power of water.
2023.03.20 21:09 oOViP3RDriV3ROo Grove Blockchain is close.
 | submitted by oOViP3RDriV3ROo to grovetokenofficial [link] [comments] |
2023.03.20 21:02 The_Local_Vagabond M4F Tales From the Gas Station: The New Hire
At the edge of our town, there’s a shitty gas station that’s open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If you were to go inside, you’d see row after row of off-brand chips, cookies, potted meats, and pickled curiosities. Expiration dates suspiciously missing from the canned goods like they were filed off years ago in some misguided attempt to control inventory turnover. A faded “wet floor” sign from way back covers a large crack in the foundation by the cooler where layers of sticky spill-off have formed a miniature tar pit, preserving countless insect corpses and the occasional small rodent.
Nobody ever complains about the aesthetic. By some providence bordering on the supernatural, the health inspector has repeatedly signed off on the business, always kindly ignoring the faint smell of some kind of mysterious chemical cocktail that is the defining characteristic of the establishment. More noticeable than the steady mechanical hum of the frozen drink machine that was installed in the seventies and never once serviced. More distracting than the random pockets of cold and warm air that seem to follow you around. And more annoying than the family of mutated raccoons that lives in the crawlspace behind the grease trap.
We think they’re mutated anyway. At the very least, they must be inbred to the point of genetic deformity and mental retardation. The alpha, a muscular three-foot-tall son of a bitch named Rocco, has been spotted multiple times chewing on people’s tires and has been run over at least twice, but keeps coming back.
That lingering smell, a sweet combination of honeysuckle, ammonia, and vomit, has never been positively identified, but the prevalent theory is that it’s coming from underground, wafting up through the thin fissures in the concrete that grow and spread with each year of architectural settling. It’s strongest right after a rain, and pungent to the point of tear-inducing if you get too close to the storm drains where even Rocco and his clan refuse to tread.
If you were to go inside, you might also see the bathroom cowboy. He's sort of an urban legend around here, only ever appearing when you’re alone and unsuspecting. What makes him truly legendary are the stories people tell after an alleged encounter. The accounts run the gamut from “pretty weird” to “impossibly bizarre.” Like the guy last month who went for a pee but changed his mind when he saw him standing there next to the urinal, wearing a duster, bandanna, boots, and chaps, handing out balloon animals.
Or a couple weeks later when another customer stepped into the same bathroom to see a man wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, boxers, and boots with spurs, literally grinding an ax on an old-fashioned stone sharpening wheel. When he entered, the cowboy stopped what he was doing, looked up with a smile and a tip of the hat and said, “Come on, Man... Come onnn with it.”
If you should be lucky enough to see the cowboy that may or may not haunt the bathroom, don't worry. He's harmless, and in fact usually quite polite. Honestly, he doesn’t seem so bad. Especially compared to some of the other things going on in that place.
When you go inside, you might instantly get a toothache. That’s a strangely common phenomenon that nobody really understands. It should go away on its own after a couple hours.
If you do go inside, you will almost definitely see me sitting behind the counter, because I am the only full-time employee, and I’m almost always here. You may catch me reading a book because, for some reason, the internet doesn’t work way out here, and cell phone service is dicey on good days and nonexistent on most. If you need to make a call, you can leave and go up the hill a ways, preferably back towards town because the other way will take you into the woods and you don’t even want me to go into all the reasons that’s not a good idea. Or you can pay me twenty-five cents a minute and use the store’s land line. (That arrangement was cooked up by the owners and I have to actually enforce it because they do check the phone records. I’m sorry.)
While you’re here, don’t be offended if I don’t strike up a conversation because, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t always know for sure if everyone who comes through those doors is real or not and if I had to acknowledge everyone in that place that could be an actual person, I might lose my mind. And we don’t need any more of that going on around here.
I guess that the point I’m trying to make is this: weird things happen to me working at the shitty gas station at the edge of town.
—————
Howdy! Im looking to do an RP set in the world of TFTGS by Jack Townsend. For those who haven’t read the books/listened to the creepy pasta, go do that cause it’s amazing. No? Still here? Cool! Cause honestly you not really knowing much about it would play really well into the RP. If you HAVE read it, that’s cool too. If you wanted to play as O’Brien (preferred), Rosa or an OC of some kind just let me know. I look forward to speaking/RPing with you.
submitted by The_Local_Vagabond to DiscordRP [link] [comments]
Nobody ever complains about the aesthetic. By some providence bordering on the supernatural, the health inspector has repeatedly signed off on the business, always kindly ignoring the faint smell of some kind of mysterious chemical cocktail that is the defining characteristic of the establishment. More noticeable than the steady mechanical hum of the frozen drink machine that was installed in the seventies and never once serviced. More distracting than the random pockets of cold and warm air that seem to follow you around. And more annoying than the family of mutated raccoons that lives in the crawlspace behind the grease trap.
We think they’re mutated anyway. At the very least, they must be inbred to the point of genetic deformity and mental retardation. The alpha, a muscular three-foot-tall son of a bitch named Rocco, has been spotted multiple times chewing on people’s tires and has been run over at least twice, but keeps coming back.
That lingering smell, a sweet combination of honeysuckle, ammonia, and vomit, has never been positively identified, but the prevalent theory is that it’s coming from underground, wafting up through the thin fissures in the concrete that grow and spread with each year of architectural settling. It’s strongest right after a rain, and pungent to the point of tear-inducing if you get too close to the storm drains where even Rocco and his clan refuse to tread.
If you were to go inside, you might also see the bathroom cowboy. He's sort of an urban legend around here, only ever appearing when you’re alone and unsuspecting. What makes him truly legendary are the stories people tell after an alleged encounter. The accounts run the gamut from “pretty weird” to “impossibly bizarre.” Like the guy last month who went for a pee but changed his mind when he saw him standing there next to the urinal, wearing a duster, bandanna, boots, and chaps, handing out balloon animals.
Or a couple weeks later when another customer stepped into the same bathroom to see a man wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, boxers, and boots with spurs, literally grinding an ax on an old-fashioned stone sharpening wheel. When he entered, the cowboy stopped what he was doing, looked up with a smile and a tip of the hat and said, “Come on, Man... Come onnn with it.”
If you should be lucky enough to see the cowboy that may or may not haunt the bathroom, don't worry. He's harmless, and in fact usually quite polite. Honestly, he doesn’t seem so bad. Especially compared to some of the other things going on in that place.
When you go inside, you might instantly get a toothache. That’s a strangely common phenomenon that nobody really understands. It should go away on its own after a couple hours.
If you do go inside, you will almost definitely see me sitting behind the counter, because I am the only full-time employee, and I’m almost always here. You may catch me reading a book because, for some reason, the internet doesn’t work way out here, and cell phone service is dicey on good days and nonexistent on most. If you need to make a call, you can leave and go up the hill a ways, preferably back towards town because the other way will take you into the woods and you don’t even want me to go into all the reasons that’s not a good idea. Or you can pay me twenty-five cents a minute and use the store’s land line. (That arrangement was cooked up by the owners and I have to actually enforce it because they do check the phone records. I’m sorry.)
While you’re here, don’t be offended if I don’t strike up a conversation because, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t always know for sure if everyone who comes through those doors is real or not and if I had to acknowledge everyone in that place that could be an actual person, I might lose my mind. And we don’t need any more of that going on around here.
I guess that the point I’m trying to make is this: weird things happen to me working at the shitty gas station at the edge of town.
—————
Howdy! Im looking to do an RP set in the world of TFTGS by Jack Townsend. For those who haven’t read the books/listened to the creepy pasta, go do that cause it’s amazing. No? Still here? Cool! Cause honestly you not really knowing much about it would play really well into the RP. If you HAVE read it, that’s cool too. If you wanted to play as O’Brien (preferred), Rosa or an OC of some kind just let me know. I look forward to speaking/RPing with you.
2023.03.20 20:58 Unfair-Yak-9864 Error 40014 work around
Gas anyone found a way to by pass this? Tried the work around they listed on the issue council but still not getting it. Was only able to play a couple hours when the patch released and now it's been this for days.
submitted by Unfair-Yak-9864 to starcitizen [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 20:57 onionoinoi Help w/ advocating for a diagnosis?
CW: weight mention
Hi guys! I’m new to Reddit and came on here to see if anyone can offer me some insight on getting diagnosed w/ endo. For background: I’m 23 years old and have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. When I was 17 I started taking the Vienva BC pill and had semi normal cycles. My cycles stopped completely on the Mirena IUD, which I got at 19 and had til I was 21. It took nearly 6 months to get my period back, and shortly after that I ended up in the ER w/ severe pelvic pain. I was diagnosed w/ PID and multiple endometriomas after several hours of doctors telling me I was fine, even with an absurdly high WBC. My periods now occur for 1-3 days each month, but are not “regular” per say. I experience severe pelvic pain and bloating/trapped gas each month even when I’m not menstruating. The GI issues have disrupted all aspects of my life greatly, to the point where I can’t eat regularly and have to use laxatives daily to have a bowel movement. I do have pain with intercourse as well. I have also had a lot of hormonal acne, hot flashes/sweating/body odor, and headaches. When I had the IUD, I gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time (all of which I have since lost) however my prior OBGYN tried to tell me that these issues would go away with weight loss- clearly they haven’t. I am nearing the point of being underweight due to the GI issues. My mental state has also worsened as I have not been able to find any validation of these issues, as they are being brushed off as “normal”. - based on my symptoms, I believe it’s stage II-III endo and involves my bowel. I am also worried for my future fertility if no action is taken. My most recent pelvic ultrasound made the technicians jaw drop because of how large the cyst on my right ovary was. My next GYN appt is in mid-May, but I’m not sure if it needs to be moved up or if these symptoms warrant a diagnostic surgery as I am new to all this. Please help! Thanks!
submitted by onionoinoi to Endo [link] [comments]
Hi guys! I’m new to Reddit and came on here to see if anyone can offer me some insight on getting diagnosed w/ endo. For background: I’m 23 years old and have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. When I was 17 I started taking the Vienva BC pill and had semi normal cycles. My cycles stopped completely on the Mirena IUD, which I got at 19 and had til I was 21. It took nearly 6 months to get my period back, and shortly after that I ended up in the ER w/ severe pelvic pain. I was diagnosed w/ PID and multiple endometriomas after several hours of doctors telling me I was fine, even with an absurdly high WBC. My periods now occur for 1-3 days each month, but are not “regular” per say. I experience severe pelvic pain and bloating/trapped gas each month even when I’m not menstruating. The GI issues have disrupted all aspects of my life greatly, to the point where I can’t eat regularly and have to use laxatives daily to have a bowel movement. I do have pain with intercourse as well. I have also had a lot of hormonal acne, hot flashes/sweating/body odor, and headaches. When I had the IUD, I gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time (all of which I have since lost) however my prior OBGYN tried to tell me that these issues would go away with weight loss- clearly they haven’t. I am nearing the point of being underweight due to the GI issues. My mental state has also worsened as I have not been able to find any validation of these issues, as they are being brushed off as “normal”. - based on my symptoms, I believe it’s stage II-III endo and involves my bowel. I am also worried for my future fertility if no action is taken. My most recent pelvic ultrasound made the technicians jaw drop because of how large the cyst on my right ovary was. My next GYN appt is in mid-May, but I’m not sure if it needs to be moved up or if these symptoms warrant a diagnostic surgery as I am new to all this. Please help! Thanks!
2023.03.20 20:55 onionoinoi Help with advocating for a diagnosis?
CW: weight mention
Hi guys! I’m new to Reddit and came on here to see if anyone can offer me some insight on getting diagnosed w/ endo. For background: I’m 23 years old and have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. When I was 17 I started taking the Vienva BC pill and had semi normal cycles. My cycles stopped completely on the Mirena IUD, which I got at 19 and had til I was 21. It took nearly 6 months to get my period back, and shortly after that I ended up in the ER w/ severe pelvic pain. I was diagnosed w/ PID and multiple endometriomas after several hours of doctors telling me I was fine, even with an absurdly high WBC. My periods now occur for 1-3 days each month, but are not “regular” per say. I experience severe pelvic pain and bloating/trapped gas each month even when I’m not menstruating. The GI issues have disrupted all aspects of my life greatly, to the point where I can’t eat regularly and have to use laxatives daily to have a bowel movement. I do have pain with intercourse as well. I have also had a lot of hormonal acne, hot flashes/sweating/body odor, and headaches. When I had the IUD, I gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time (all of which I have since lost) however my prior OBGYN tried to tell me that these issues would go away with weight loss- clearly they haven’t. I am nearing the point of being underweight due to the GI issues. My mental state has also worsened as I have not been able to find any validation of these issues, as they are being brushed off as “normal”, and my doctors keep shoving BC in my face as the only form of treatment- based on my symptoms, I believe it’s stage II-III endo and involves my bowel. I am also worried for my future fertility if no action is taken. My most recent pelvic ultrasound made the technicians jaw drop because of how large the cyst on my right ovary was. My next GYN appt is in mid-May, but I’m not sure if it needs to be moved up or if these symptoms warrant a diagnostic surgery as I am new to all this. Please help! Thanks!
submitted by onionoinoi to endometriosis [link] [comments]
Hi guys! I’m new to Reddit and came on here to see if anyone can offer me some insight on getting diagnosed w/ endo. For background: I’m 23 years old and have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. When I was 17 I started taking the Vienva BC pill and had semi normal cycles. My cycles stopped completely on the Mirena IUD, which I got at 19 and had til I was 21. It took nearly 6 months to get my period back, and shortly after that I ended up in the ER w/ severe pelvic pain. I was diagnosed w/ PID and multiple endometriomas after several hours of doctors telling me I was fine, even with an absurdly high WBC. My periods now occur for 1-3 days each month, but are not “regular” per say. I experience severe pelvic pain and bloating/trapped gas each month even when I’m not menstruating. The GI issues have disrupted all aspects of my life greatly, to the point where I can’t eat regularly and have to use laxatives daily to have a bowel movement. I do have pain with intercourse as well. I have also had a lot of hormonal acne, hot flashes/sweating/body odor, and headaches. When I had the IUD, I gained a significant amount of weight in a short period of time (all of which I have since lost) however my prior OBGYN tried to tell me that these issues would go away with weight loss- clearly they haven’t. I am nearing the point of being underweight due to the GI issues. My mental state has also worsened as I have not been able to find any validation of these issues, as they are being brushed off as “normal”, and my doctors keep shoving BC in my face as the only form of treatment- based on my symptoms, I believe it’s stage II-III endo and involves my bowel. I am also worried for my future fertility if no action is taken. My most recent pelvic ultrasound made the technicians jaw drop because of how large the cyst on my right ovary was. My next GYN appt is in mid-May, but I’m not sure if it needs to be moved up or if these symptoms warrant a diagnostic surgery as I am new to all this. Please help! Thanks!
2023.03.20 20:54 Gorotheninja Science has come so far...
 | submitted by Gorotheninja to shitposting [link] [comments] |
2023.03.20 20:48 TooScaredToTalkToday Feeling really gross, please help!!
So I have acid reflux and generally try to avoid eating before going to bed (it makes the reflux worse), but last night I ate a big bowl of cereal like.. a few minutes before bed. Cereal was probably a bad choice since it always makes me bloated, even if I eat it during the day. I’ve also been a bit constipated lately and have been bloated from that.
But this morning I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and super bloated, and I’m kind of freaking out. I took zofran and it sort of helped, but I still feel bloated and keep getting gas pains in my stomach. I’m still a bit nauseous too, but I can’t tell if it’s real or if it’s because of anxiety. I’m also anxious because most of the time when I have timed like this where im bloated/nauseous i feel better after an hour or two. But it’s been several hours and im still just as anxious as I was when I first woke up.
Sorry I don’t know if any of this makes sense, im kind of panicking and could really use some support :(
submitted by TooScaredToTalkToday to emetophobia [link] [comments]
But this morning I woke up this morning feeling nauseous and super bloated, and I’m kind of freaking out. I took zofran and it sort of helped, but I still feel bloated and keep getting gas pains in my stomach. I’m still a bit nauseous too, but I can’t tell if it’s real or if it’s because of anxiety. I’m also anxious because most of the time when I have timed like this where im bloated/nauseous i feel better after an hour or two. But it’s been several hours and im still just as anxious as I was when I first woke up.
Sorry I don’t know if any of this makes sense, im kind of panicking and could really use some support :(
2023.03.20 20:36 Rusty_Vex This be too true 😭
 | submitted by Rusty_Vex to The8BitRyanReddit [link] [comments] |
2023.03.20 20:34 sasquatchpotpie Not sure how to feel about my shifts
 | submitted by sasquatchpotpie to AmazonFlexDrivers [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/bn4hkj0c5yoa1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=fad80083a21b92fcbe166294c6181460f31c04b4 I started two weeks ago, and VOH3 keeps giving me routes through backroads thirty to forty miles outside of town: Mount Gilead, Newark, London, Lancaster, London. Two nights ago, a customer brandished a firearm and accused me of trespassing. This morning, I hit a patch of black ice and skid off the road and down a hill. I went on to finish the four-hour block, but the last stop took me up a mountain an hour away from home. And for all of my troubles, I earned $72 (minus $24.91 in gas) and a penalty for missing a package. I get that every job has bad days, but I'm feeling pretty worn out from these experiences. Are they the norm for Amazon drivers? I keep getting offered $300 bonuses for completing 15 Doordash deliveries. Think I should switch? |
2023.03.20 20:34 livingbitchardson Let’s talk about the court case.
Predictions on the pending motions to dismiss? (Denied)
How much have they spent so far on lawyers? (Conservatively, $250/hr and probably 100 hours of work so far)
Will Sam’s children be deposed? (The older daughter, definitely to talk about privacy related allegations)
Will Sam be held in contempt again? (Definitely)
Will her lawyers quit on her? (Maybe, probably depends on if they keep getting paid)
How much will the neighbors get in damages?
Why is Kyle such a wimp for spending all this money because Sam can’t stfu and can’t live without TikTok?
submitted by livingbitchardson to livingrichardsonsnark [link] [comments]
How much have they spent so far on lawyers? (Conservatively, $250/hr and probably 100 hours of work so far)
Will Sam’s children be deposed? (The older daughter, definitely to talk about privacy related allegations)
Will Sam be held in contempt again? (Definitely)
Will her lawyers quit on her? (Maybe, probably depends on if they keep getting paid)
How much will the neighbors get in damages?
Why is Kyle such a wimp for spending all this money because Sam can’t stfu and can’t live without TikTok?
2023.03.20 20:32 communistthrowaway69 The plague of Diegetic essentialism (or, how I learned to stop worrying, and just enjoy the sub)
There's a specter haunting the sub... the specter of... Oh fuck, this bit is played out, isn't it?
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument.
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.
Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels right.
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic. They're not meant to be understood as literally real, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be real.
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device.")
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.
Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.
Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?
Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon. Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
I know you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped.
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad. It's not worth reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like.
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really. Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.
Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't in it.
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore that clearly no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy is probably worse than it's ever been.
When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.
If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.
submitted by communistthrowaway69 to Sigmarxism [link] [comments]
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument.
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.
Introduction: Don't be a DEckhead
If you Google the term "Diegetic Essentialism," the first result is....this sub? What the fuck? Did we make up this term? Shit, that can't be right.Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels right.
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic. They're not meant to be understood as literally real, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be real.
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device.")
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.
Media saturation and the attention economy
Have you noticed recently that there's just, like, way too much shit?Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.
The walled garden, the cultivated consumer identity
Corporations have a term they use, cultivated identity, to describe a marketing and sales strategy for how you break through an environment like this.Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?
Competitive identity and fandom
And now we return to D.E., and its role in this.Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon. Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
I know you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped.
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad. It's not worth reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like.
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really. Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.
""""""""""Leftist"""''"""""" Diegetic Essentialism
Leftist is essentially in this category too. Because it doesn't have a strict, coherent meaning like, say, Marxist-Leninist or Anarcho-Communist.Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't in it.
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore that clearly no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy is probably worse than it's ever been.
The takeaway: Thematic/Material Analysis, vs diegetic essentialist problematic interpretations
Fuck, are we at the end yet? Thank God. The tl;dr is almost here.When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.
The tl;dr
There is no canon. The lore is not real. It cannot mean or imply anything not expressed by the authors and artists, or so strongly evident in the assumptions of the story, that it's an inescapable facet of it (e.g. Imperium and fascism).If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.
2023.03.20 20:31 scoringtomcat-12 Advice from an alumnus
Good afternoon fellow Gauchos. I would like to offer some wisdom and experience as you navigate your four years (more or less) at this great school.
submitted by scoringtomcat-12 to UCSantaBarbara [link] [comments]
- Study on the 8th floor at least once at the library.
- Join a rec-league. Inner-tube water polo was a blast.
- Enjoy the sun. Unless you have a medical condition, then bring an umbrella, sun screen and UV guard. This can be done ANYWHERE. Outside your dorm, the grass by student health, UCEN grass.
- See #3 and stop with the video games. I watched and witnessed housemates, floormates, even roommates cramp into a non-social blob wasting days of their lives.
- Join a study group. Host a study group. There's nothing like collaborating in misery or excitement over the material.
- Self-explanatory, learn how to ride a bike before you get to UCSB, it may save you bumps, scrapes and bruises.
- Go to a sporting event at UCSB.
- Similarly, go to an event that is counter to your beliefs or values and listen. You may learn something.
- Buy a pitcher of beer for friends. Even if you don't drink, this is universal etiquette outside of college, might as well learn early. Sam's to Go is a great place to start.
- Enjoy a concert, movie, play, dance recital, anything that's free or low budget on campus.
- Ditch the car freshman year. @ss, grass or gas for the floormate that drives you. I paid a lot of money for my car to sit out and rust by Harder my freshman year.
- Don't bring your favorite bike to school. I was lucky to keep mine till beginning of sophomore year. It will get stolen.
- Have fun, but be safe. Know your limits.
- If you haven't made any friends yet in the dorms. Step 1: buy a Frisbee or ask the front desk. Step 2: go outside and ask the first person you see if they would like to toss around. Step 3: Repeat Step 2, until you have a new friend.
2023.03.20 20:29 lsvminvrac 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by lsvminvrac to drw9hqh2n4 [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/xf34m7694yoa1.gifTeaser: Both Emelie an exchange student from Sweden and Michael won awards at a school Board meeting. It was that genesis that led to Michael using his math skills to tutor the blonde haired, blue eyed middle school teen after school at his house. At first it looked like not very many parents and staff would show up to the monthly school Board meeting, but as it got closer to 7:30, the seats began to fill up. Carl Johnson was there with his son, who had been invited to attend because he had done so well in a math competition at his middle school. Mike was a very bright 16-year-old who had just started to notice the young ladies. His dad was looking at his watch, curious about how long he would have to wait before he could go home and hit the six pack that was waiting for him. He was raising his son on his own and they had developed a close relationship . . . but soon that relationship would involve a young lady who was also at the Board meeting with her parents. One by one student's names were called to receive their certificate. Then all of a sudden the name "Emelie Petersson" was called, and an extremely beautiful girl stood up and went towards where the Board was seated and after having her picture taken, she shook the hand of the Board President and worked her way back to her seat. Except this time, she decided to enter the row Mike and his dad were sitting in and excused herself, as she moved across several people towards her seat. She looked at Mike and said "Hi Michael congratulations on your award". Mike offered a quick "Thank You" and politely moved his feet back so that she could pass. As she was moving past Mr. Johnson, she slightly lost her balance and had to place her hand on his shoulder to keep from tripping and she turned scarlet. Carl looked up at the girl, who had long blonde hair that was braided into one gathering in the back, and quickly noticed her small titties that were displayed prominently because the top she was wearing was very tight. She also had on a pleaded skirt and black patent leather shoes. Whether on purpose or not, Carl placed his hand on her tight little ass and boosted her back up so that she could navigate the rest of the distance back to her seat. She whispered "thank you" to Carl but fleetingly noticed the beginning of a boner in Mike's pants. "Do you know her?" Carl asked his son. "Yeah, she's got the same lunch as me and she usually sits at my table." "She’s quiet a 'looker', that's for sure," he mentioned just loud enough for the woman next to him to give out a dirty look. The first part of the meeting ended, and parents were given the opportunity to leave, and they got up to do so. After they got out into the hallway outside of the media center, Carl was ready to head right for the parking lot when a hand touched him on his shoulder. "Excuse me sir . . . but I noticed the fine award your son received in math and was wondering, whether he could tutor my daughter in mathematics?" Carl positioned himself so that he could see Emelie and her parents. Both he and Mike were so surprised with the question they just looked at each other for several seconds and then finally Mr. Johnson said, "That would be up to him . . . but I imagine we could work out something." At that point Emelie's mother took over the conversation, indicating that they were from Sweden and here in the states for a couple of years and that math was the only area her daughter had difficulty with. While the parents were talking and walking down the hall towards the front of the building, Mike and Emelie moved closer together and began their own conversation. "I am so embarrassed Michael. Don't be afraid to say no. My mom is quite the organizeplanner," she pointed out guardedly. "That's not a problem. I would be happy to help you in math. You could ride my bus home and we could work before dinner, maybe a couple of days a week." "I would like that," she said with a big smile on her face as she squeezed his hand. As Mike looked into her eyes he saw a twinkle and knew she must have found him somewhat handsome, and as a result, his cock began to rise once again. He had just turned 16 over the summer and she was a month younger, but that did not seem to matter as they continued to carry-on a typical high school conversation. As they continued talking, his cock continued to grow and he was soon suddenly embarrassed. Nonchalantly, Emelie looked downward, and was similarly aroused as she noticed the boy's erection sticking up the front of his pants and was certain she was the cause. Thinking back, she had sat at his lunch table, because she had a crush on him, but just now learning about boys in sex-ed she was certain the boy's big boner was a GOOD sign. Then her mom interrupted: "So Michael, would you do us the honor of teaching our daughter about mathematics. Maybe she could start tomorrow after school?" "He suggested that I just ride his bus home and we could get in a couple of hours of studying before dinner. Maybe Daddy could pick me up afterwards, on his way home? I'll write down my email address, in case you need to get a hold of me," said Emelie with a wink as she scribbled her contact information for him. He nodded and then listened to her mother once again. "If it is OK with his father, I think we have a plan then," said her mom. "It's fine by me. Just bring along all your books and stuff and they can work at the kitchen table," said Mr. Johnson. There was much polite handshaking and praise as both families slipped out into the night and went home. Just before he went to bed, Mike emailed Emelie reminding her to bring along her calculator, math book and something to write notes and problems on. Almost instantly she emailed him back: "I have everything set in my backpack. The first hour or so, I want to make sure we concentrate on my math facts. My parents are going to give me some extra spending money if I can bring up my B- up to an A. With your help, I know I can do that. The second hour before my dad gets there . . . I want to show you my personal appreciation . . . which might help with that big lump in your pants tonight- Em" First of all, just receiving an email from her, was enough for Mike to worm his hand into his pajama bottoms and pull out his cock. When it got to the last sentence of her email, he lost all control and a hot stream of cum catapulted out of the tip of his shaft and shot directly up to his chin. He looked over at a nearby mirror and watched his cum drip off of his face and he quickly fantasized . . . that might be what Emelie will look like tomorrow. One Lewd Math Lesson During lunch at school, Mike made a point of sitting directly across from Emelie. They continued to get to know each other better and just before the bell rang, he made arrangements to meet her outside her last hour class. They didn't look much like a couple as they boarded the school bus, but they did sit next to each other. Just about when the bus was going to stop, she grasped his hand and said, "I am so happy you are going to be my tutor. Let's go have some real fun together." His dad had actually baked some chocolate chip cookies and placed them on the kitchen table when they entered the kitchen. While she was getting things out of her backpack, he quickly changed into a pair of Nike shorts and a top that showed off his chest and muscles. He liked to work out in the basement, and his hard work was easy to see with the development of his arms. When he came back, she was already working on her homework. She looked up and said, "Don't you look yummy! But we must concentrate on math for at least an hour, ok?" He nodded and looking over her shoulder he noticed the Pre-Algebra assignment she was working on. They talked for several minutes, and she explained what parts of math she did not understand. Since that subject came so easy for him, he immediately offered some suggestions and what had to be memorized. After almost an hour and a half, she was almost giggly on what she now understood. "We only have about 15 minutes and I still have to show you my personal appreciation like I said in my email last night . . . which might help that lump in your pants that is now getting pretty big. I have not done much with boys before so bear with me, but in Sweden, girls learn how to make their boyfriends like them A LOT by doing naughty things for them. So let's play a quick game. You be the leader and tell me what I should do to give you some relief". "Are you sure?" he asked, not ready for her suggestion. "Uh, huh . . . you kinda be like the master and I will be your slave and don't be afraid to talk dirty to me . . . cuz I love it!" He got up from the table and stood a foot or so away from her. "The way my balls are throbbing right now, it won't take more than a minute or two to make me cum." She was a bit shocked at him suddenly talking so street to her, but she had asked for it. "Well . . . let's see what you have been hiding then," she giggled. Mike glanced up at the clock and realized her dad would be there shortly and did not want to waste another minute. He began pulling down his Nike shorts and suddenly got the courage and dropped them to his ankles. As he stood up and stepped out of them, his throbbing cock waved back and forth and Emelie gasped in surprise. "I didn't realize they could be so BIG," she murmured. He appreciated the compliment, and remembered she hadn't had much experience with males before and their distinctive equipment. Encouraged by her comment, Mike began to pull on his swollen shaft . . . sliding his hand up and down slowly, and at the same time he watched the look of fascination and awe on her innocent face. He once again focused on her long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. 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2023.03.20 20:29 cxrcnauoij 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by cxrcnauoij to ywrlbnnnnl [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/kmflk3c84yoa1.gifTim knelt between the young legs beneath him and wondered how he had gotten there. The lovely young girl under him was wide-eyed and panting. Both of them were naked and hot for each other and this was a new experience for Tim. For Lisa as well. Neither of them had had ANY kind of sexual contact before now, and both were a bit uncertain. What to do, Tim thought. Do I just push it in? ...or do I give it to her a little at a time? Lisa was wondering if Tim would simply use her, or would he love her? She really didn't care at this point as she only wanted him inside her. They both made their decisions at the same time. Tim thrust forward as Lisa grabbed his ass and pulled him into her. Lisa felt the sting as Tim broke past her hymen, but she remained compliant as he started to gently stroke her. He was so tender and loving, she thought. How on earth could he be my brother? BACK TO THE BEGINNING The fact is that Lisa and Tim were NOT actually brother and sister Tim's mom had died when he was only three. She had been on her way home from her job in a plastics factory when a teenager, drunk out of her mind, had T-boned her car at a usually quiet intersection. Karen, Tim's Mom, had died instantly. The drunk teen had survived with only minor injuries. She was, however, sentenced to fifteen years for vehicular homicide. Lisa's story was much different. Her family was one of the typical ones.....quiet and respected. That is, until the day when Lisa's Dad arrived at the house and announced that he was leaving to be with a buck-toothed cocktail waitress from the bar that he frequented. Lisa's mom had helped with the transition by throwing all of her dad's stuff into the front lawn. Lisa, a mere toddler at the time (she was just seventeen months old) never really knew her dad. She never knew what she was missing by not having a male role model. Lisa just knew that she wanted her daddy in her life. Vickie decided that she would have to find someone, damn near anyone, who could be a father figure for Lisa. Enter Tim and his dad, Jack. Vickie and Jack met at a social mixer and fell in love at once. They married after only three months and the four of them were an instant family. At the precocious age of three, Tim loved his toddling little sister and was always kind to her. Unlike many step siblings, Lisa and Tim were fond of each other from the very start. Unfortunately, the same could not be said of Vickie and Jack. After only a year, both had started to wander. As they learned of each other's indiscretions, they split. Jack and Tim moved out of state, but they kept in touch with Vickie and Lisa. Both Jack and his exwife loved each other's child and decided to keep them in touch with each other as it seemed to do the two of them good. Lisa's mom, Vickie, took up with one wrong man after another and in time, Lisa started to notice. On many occasions, Lisa would ask her mom about her dad. Vickie would always respond the same way, "you really don't want to know about HIM...or about men in general." The fact was, that Lisa was truly confused by her mother's words. She seemed to still care for the man that Lisa knew as her daddy, so why would she talk about him that way? Her mom was always pleasant whenever Tim and her dad called or came to visit. Lisa just did not understand grown ups. She had learned early on that the wrong man could screw up your entire life. She had seen it with her mother and decided that it would never happen to her. No...she would find the RIGHT man. At thirteen, Lisa started to rebel. Her body was developing nicely and she flaunted it without abandon. Vickie raised all kinds of hell but it made little difference. Lisa was just going to be herself and Vickie resigned herself to that fact. Even though everyone could see that Lisa was a big flirt, it was obvious to Vickie that her young daughter was not sexually active. Lisa had told her so on more than one occasion. "I like boys, Mom, but I'm not screwing. That would be stupid", Lisa had exclaimed. That gave Vickie some sense of relief. She had no intentions of being a grandmother at her age. Tim and his dad were buds. They did most everything together. They hiked, hunted and fished...just like friends. Karen was the love of his life (after his son) and her sudden death broke his soul and spirit. Vickie had filled that void for a time, and her sweet daughter had almost filled the gap in his heart, but it was not meant to last. Both Jack and Vickie had strayed from each other and neither could live with it. They divorced and Jack had taken Tim and moved almost three hundred miles away. Even though the four of them kept in touch by phone, email and a few visits, Jack became more and more despondent as time went on, and finally, when Tim was just eighteen, he shot himself. No note, no reason that anyone could decipher. He was just gone. Tim was beyond grief. His whole world was gone. How could he get by without his dad? After Jack's funeral, Tim called Vickie and asked if he could come and stay with her while he got onto his own feet. Vickie hadn't come to the funeral as it had been so far away and she could not deal with the fact that Jack was truly gone. But she quickly agreed to have him come and Tim loaded his meager belongings into the car that was now his since his father's death and drove away. Arriving some seven hours later at Vickie's home, Tim finally broke down and let the tears flow. Both Vickie and Lisa held him as his grief overpowered him. After a time, he regained control and after just a few days of moping around the house, Tim found a good job, got his own apartment and moved out. Both Vickie and Lisa were sad to see him go, but they knew it was best. Tim tried dating, but all of the girls seemed to want the same thing...a husband. Tim was simply not ready for that. What he wanted first was love. As it turned out, both Tim and Lisa would manage to find love in a unique way. She and Tim got together from time to time for a movie or a snack but neither of them really knew the groups of people that the other hung around with. That all changed when, at a cozy teen club one night, fate stepped in and Tim and Lisa were introduced to each other by mutual friends. As the two of them shook hands (pretending to not know one another just to please their friends), there was a spark of something.....chemistry or electricity.....who knows. Perhaps it was sexual attraction. Whatever the case, it was enough to cause the two of them to return to Tim's place that night. AT TIM'S PLACE They danced together on every slow song that was played. Tim, now almost nineteen and Lisa at seventeen seemed to be a natural couple. Both Tim and Lisa felt the heat from each other's bodies as they swayed across the floor. As the dance came to an end, Tim asked Lisa to join him at his place. "Nothing dirty", he said. I just want to spend more time with you if you don't mind. "I would love to. I just need to phone mom so that she doesn't worry", Lisa said. She made a quick call on her cell and assured her mom that she was OK and would be with Tim until the following morning. Mom was more than OK with that as she loved and trusted Tim. With that they headed off to Tim's apartment. It was small, but tidy and comfortable and Lisa felt as if she were at home. Tim was being a gentleman, but Lisa was getting hot. She could not understand what was happening to her as she had NEVER felt this way around any guy....much less her own brother. The fact that Lisa was with him made Tim all the more horny as well. He was determined to not just take her, but to see where this encounter went. Lisa was all smiles and flirtations as they got to the house. She was not acting at all sisterly and Tim had no idea what to think of it. Should he tell her the truth? That they were not truly brother and sister, or did he just let her imagination run wild and see where it led? He was unsure, so he decided to just play it by ear. Tim put a CD in the changer and the sweet voice of Avril Lavigne soon poured out of the speakers. Lisa reached towards Tim, placed her arm around his shoulders and asked, jokingly, "Do I know you from somewhere?. "I don't think so" Tim replied. Lisa said," I really think I know you....but I can't for the life of me figure out where". I feel the same way", Tim said. "But I can't put my finger on it". The two of them smiled at their 'inside joke' . Tim decided to come clean. "Lisa, there is something you need to know. We are not really brother and sister". Lisa jumped back, mouth agape and exclaimed, "What the fuck?". Tim was shocked at her choice of words, but tried to quickly calm her with the truth. "Lisa, your mom and my dad got married when we were both very young. I didn't know for sure myself until a year or so ago. After dad died I found their marriage license and other documents that proved that you and I were both born before mom and dad got married. We CAN'T be blood siblings". Lisa's blue eyes started to tear up and she sighed deeply. "Somewhere deep inside my soul, I knew this. I just didn't know how to get a handle on it". Tim reached out to her and pulled her close once again, not in a brotherly way, but in a way that would make Lisa feel truly loved. Lisa responded by turning her petite body toward Tim and holding him tightly. 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2023.03.20 20:28 apcpsvuzfq 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by apcpsvuzfq to uxuoifqa8s [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/jo4yomo14yoa1.gifMy name is Josh. I am 1.78 tall, so I wasnt the tallest around, but I can't complain. I regularly attend the gym, so I am fit. I have short blond hair, green eyes and all together am not bad...not bad at all. As for my social status..well, it wasnt great back then. I studied programming and hung around all sorts of people, but many people disliked me. It might have been because of my honesty. I was never afraid to say what I thought. At the age of 17 I though it had to be the best year of high school ever, but it didnt stop then. A year would have been too short a time for all that happened. -------------------- Part 1 Driving my car, thinking about god knows what, I almost missed my friend Steve's house. He had a big party going on, parents away for two weeks and all. I looked for a place to park, but there were way to many cars, so I ended up parking two streets further. I got out and started walking back to the house. Even though I was still not close, I could hear the music. Not as loud as I would have expected, but loud enough. Up on the lawn in front of the house was my best high school friend Steve. 'Nice party you got goin' here, mate' I shouted on my way to him. As usual, he already had a chick next to him, looking like she would hump him right there and then. 'Lucky bastard' I thought. 'Oy there, Josh. You comin' so late? The hell have you been?' He stood up and went my way. 'Just the car. I ran out of gas half way here.' 'Like Im gonna believe you that. Maybe if a squad of cheerleaders needed some gas and offered to blow you for yours.' he laughed. He then lead me inside. Even though the house was huge, there were so many people it seemed seriously small. Everybody was talking, laughing and in cerain areas – dancing. 'How many people did you get here, you crazy?' I stood amazed. 'I am not counting them, I am busy with other stuff.' He said motioning in the direction of the girl with him. I laughed and asked for drinks. He directed me to the kitchen, winked at me and returned to focusing on the hottie. My feet led me to the place where most of the alcohol resided. Around me were cans of beer, there even was a keg, but my interest was elsewhere. In the harder stuff. I had my tastes for good stuff developing from a seriously early age. It had something to do with me going to a private school. I went through a couple of cabinets and finally found the better stuff. I grabbed a bottle of single malt whiskey and, having no alternative, poured some into a plastic cup. I wasted no time and drank a bit. 'Oh my, that is good shit, aint it.' I said out loud. For Steve's sake I hid the bottle and went to observe. Some people I knew, mostly just in passing, but some seemed older. Noticing Steve's older sister I realised there must have been some of her college friends. And by some I mean a lot. Someone had tapped my shoulder and I turned around, only to see a couple of metres behind me free of people. Once I felt anoter tapp on my shoulder I knew. I knew who it was. Turning quickly this time I landed a punch in his ribcage. 'You never understood a joke, did you, Grumpy?' he said. 'What are you doing here, Mouse? I though you were still in the States.' I said seeing my friend Mickey's face. We used to call him Mouse (not only for the obvious reason). 'Just got back today. You know a little booze helps with time lags.' he said, smiling. 'Now tell me where the bastard hides that stuff, before I break this kitchen apart.' 'Second cupboard on the right of the stove. And booze only helps you get even worse.' I handed him a cup, we said cheers and drank a bit. We talked about his time overseas (mainly his count rising up to eleven, compared to my humble stagnating three) and kept getting drunk. We then went to enjoy the party. I was motivated to get my score up, embarassed that he got so many. I poured myself another glass and started chating with people. After about a half an hour, I was talking to this girl I'd never seen in school and it turned out she was a freshman at college. Her name was Amy. She was funny and smart. She was only eighteen and in college. That's how smart. She had long, raven hair, blue eyes and nice red lips, retracting to an almost single line when she wasn't smiling. Medium height, slim hips and long legs. To top it off, she had perky D-cup breasts and a small ass. At first I wasn't able to think, because of how hot she was. My head just went empty, turned into a blank white page. I returned to the land of the living and talked to her for a bit, before she excused herself and I didn't see her again that night. After a while, I noticed something was happenning on the 1st floor. People were massing on the stairs, shouting and laughing. I made it upstairs, pushing a lot of unhappy people out of the way and saw something I wasn't expecting. In one of the bedrooms was Steve. In bed and not alone. The girl from before was with him and they were getting it on. Unlike Steve, she didn't like the attention. Appartently, they went to the room and someone accidentaly went in. Steve did not stop, even though she hasd begged him to. She was hiding her face in a pillow, while he fucked her mercilessly from behind. 'How come I had not noticed how chuby she was? Well, we all like it somehow, don't we?' I thought. He continued to pound away at her. A few folks in the room were recording the whole thing on their phones. Steve now had her on her back and already in her. If she had any boobs at all, they would be just flying back and forth. He got tired of her trying to hide herself and ordered her to look at the cameras in the room. Her face turned red as she sheepishly followed his commands. 'Good girl' he said and pulled out of her cunt. He then dragged her to her knees on the bed and forced his large fat cock into her mouth. She obviously was no fan of mouth-fucking, but she had no choice. After a minute or so he started coming in her mouth and she gagged as string after string of hot cum hit the very back of her throat. Steve then told everybody to get out of the room. Almost all were talking about it for quite some time. I had a couple more drinks, this time it was just beer, seeing that someone else found that bottle and left no trace for me to find it. For once, I had nothing to do, noone to talk to was around, so I just stood there, drinking. I received a few glances from a couple of girls. I recognised them from school. I raised my cup to greet them. The girls giggled and turned away. After a few moments, a blonde walked up to me. I struggled to remember her name, so she had to tell me. 'Yeah, Samantha, right. Sorry, I just have a problem with names.' 'Like you could remember us all.' She fluttered her eyes and asked me if I cared to dance. 'Boy, I would love to, but I dance like a fish on dry land.' She laughed and said: 'I will do most of it.' and winked. So I went with her to the dance floor that Steve geniously created by removing furniture from the living room. It didn't take long and she was grinding her ass on my crotch. I was beginning to set up a tent there. She was not the kind of girl you would call sexy, but she was good looking. Only a short skirt covered her ass, so I slowly slid my hand to her bare legs and started moving up. When I got to my target, I was shocked. The slut wasn't wearing any panties! I started rubbing her clit. She let out a silent moan and I continued by inserting a finger in her pussy. Boy, was she wet, or what? A lot of people must have seen us, but nobody cared. I then put in a second finger and got her moaning ecstaticly. Out of nowhere, Steve popped up right next to me. 'Take it to a room, would you? I'd like to keep people thinking that I am the exhibitionist one here, mate.' he said pointing at the stairs. What can I say, I felt like I just got a didlo shoved up my ass. Samantha just giggled and dragged me to the stairs. We went up and straight into the previously mentioned, now empty, room. She jumped on me and kissed me passionately and we explored each others wet tongues. When she let me go, she pushed me to the bed and closed the door. She walked towards me and undid the buttons on her shirt. No surprise – no bra. I grabbed her ass, lifted her up and threw her on the bed. My hand ventured down to her wet hole and I started sucking on one of her tits. Soft, nice C-cup tits. She seemed to be eager, as she pushed me asside, undid my fly and pulled my pants and boxers off. My now throbbing 17cm cock sprang out in full attention. She wasted no time and got to her knees. Her wet tongue slid along my shaft. She then continued by sucking on the head, before trying to take as much of my cock in as she could. She barely pushed half in and started choking. Bobbing her head up and down made me feel like I was about to go over the edge, but I needed some pussy before that. I pulled out of her mouth, which caused her to elick a disapointed moan. I put her on the edge of the bed and did not hesitate to push my hardon into her dripping wet cunt. I started fucking her and with every moment I increased my speed and strenght till I got to my limit. She was now moaning like crazy and shouting 'Fuck me! Fuck me!'. I could't take it much longer. I slipped out of her and she immidiately understood what I wanted. She jumped down and her knees hit the floor just as I began shooting my load on her pretty face. Some of my cum also landed on her chest and legs. She smiled and started cleaning herself, before putting on her clothes and leavin the room. I was passed out on the bed with nothing but my shirt on. I was exhausted and I awoke the next day... --------------- This is my first story, so please give me as much advice and criticism as you can. I also am not a native English speaker, so correct me, if it bothers you. I appreciate all and I hope to make it a long story. Read 10311 times Rated 68 % (25 votes) Vote list (Close) : Sniffer091 : POSITIVE jimmythekid : POSITIVE Please rate this text: Naked asians squat to pee over toilet cheating wife needed some BBC Squirting Teen Chanel Grey Can Handle Two BBCs At Once Watch My Big Boobs Korean Girlfriend Rubbing Webcam To Forusex Sexy Skin And Jayden Jaymes Are Having Fun In The Makeup Room Sex with a Japanese schoolgirl in uniform and stockings. Cosplay. Doggy style. Cowgirl. Ahegao. 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2023.03.20 20:28 auoaueqygs 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by auoaueqygs to 22wvkry32e [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/vod8roc14yoa1.gifI could be sitting here telling you about a fake good time I had or I could tell you the truth of whats going on right now. The fucking truth, today I dont know what the truth is. It started early this morning about five. I had woken up early to some commotion out side. Some Lilypups were fighting over a newspaper. I took it and started reading about some store going out of buisness, then some team plasma assholes invasion towards south. I went to town to see if the cops would need any help. Biggest mistake of my life. The invasion had already started. People were acting like it was the apocolips. I should have followed them. Instead I was a dumbass and tried to help. I went to the station and some cops asked if I could help. Of course I had to say yes. I followed them into thier car, next thing I knew I was being gagged and tied up. Thats why I no longer trust the fucking police for one, even though they were corrupt and were part of team plasma. They knocked me unconcious for a good 8 hours. I finnaly woke up and I was in a room, my hands still tied behind my back. There were 2 girls there (they looked a little familiar) and a kid about my age with green hair. There were some gaurds that took us all to another room where there was a dark green haired man wearing some sort of robe and a red monacle over his right eye. If I was able I would have bashed his fucking face in. That basterd. There were 2 regular cops tied up on thier knees. That guy pulled out a GUN. And he made us watch as he blew thier brains on the floor. "MOTHER FUCKER" I yelled at him, he turned towards me and pulled out a knife. He went towards me and I purposley fell back as he slashed out at me. He grazed my stomach and as soon as he did one of my pokeballs opened ( they didnt think we would reach them) and out came Garchomp, to save my ass agaiin. He used one of his arm daggers to slash down his little bitch face. The guy fell back and when he did his gun went off and hit a bunch of propane tanks in the corner. Next thing I knew was chunks of the building were falling apart and a wall of fire seperated me and everyone else. I yelled at Garchomp to get everyone out of the building. I started running in the other direction in a hall. I then jumped out of the window at the end of the building and fell about a story onto a dumpster. I rolled off and dragged myself behind it out of site of the rest of the alley. And now here I lay thinking of a way to get this damned rope off my hands. I just found a broken shard of glass but I hear some footsteps... and crying. I risked a look to see one of the girls that were in the building. I climbed out from behind the dumpster while she leaned against the wall. She saw me and ran over to me and called out my name through tears "Ben!"(my nickname) Then I recognized her, it was Caitlen from the elite four ( shes only 13). Trust me I've been there enough times to know it was her. The other girl was Shantal another elite four member ( they're sisters). When she got to me she started crying on my shoulder. I asked where everyone else was and she told me she got seperated. " All right " I said " help me cut this rope off then I'll cut it off of you". I did what I said then I had Braviary go to find Garchomp. Then I leaned against the wall holding my stomach. Caitlen tore off some of her dress to press against my wound. I knew this was tough for her, she's told me before that she had a crush on me thats part of it, the second part of it is that she just recently turned 13 so she's still kind of a kid. Thats why I still let her cry on my shoulder. She's a good friend. Garchomp got back with the other two and Braviary, I rode on Garchomps back into town, which was in ruins. We found a barely intact hospital. They took me in and healed my wounds( remeber I also jumped out of a window). I remember the green haired kid to, N. He left as soon as we got to the hospital. Mika and Ashley and Adam all went to the hospital to see me. I wasnt shocked when Lucario came in but I was when Gardevior did. Adam told me that he checked about what the Gardevior's deal was and that it was wild so he was able to adopt it, so her and Lucario could. I told him he was a good friend. Mika was showering me with kisses and crying tears of joy becuase I was ok. We all drove home after that. Adam stayed over that night to do the labor that I couldnt. Caitlen and Shantal are staying over until the league is rebuilt. I let them have my room. Mika, Adam, and I took the guest room. As you may have guessed by now my room is basically my and Mika's room. Adam gave us privacy in the room for a while. Mika just lay next to me while we talked. She then said " you know what would be fun?" I asked" What?" and she said " if we could sleep with anybody we wanted." That was funny becuase she had probly seen some boy she thought was cute. I replied " that would be fine" We were both happy then and we had just opened up a whole new world for us. 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 | submitted by rrdiqrwvft to xnewm7e1he [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/kppude804yoa1.gifFirst real try. More sex in the next part if you guys are nice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I got out of school 2 weeks ago, and I am so siced for summer. Driving down the Bay Way, I'm in my family's Honda we just got after I got my license. Its like 78 degrees out and no clouds. I live for summer, and when summer comes, we go to Ocean City. My names Sam by the way. 6 foot 160, dirty blond and blue eyes. Slight muscle tone. Im not too bad. I love girls. And I love the beach. It's me, my friend John and my step-sister's cousins Molly and Paige. We're playing some sweet road music, and John's cuddling or some shit in the back seat with Molly. We've got like 2 hours of road ahead. I got two and a half months of summer with a ride now, plus i'm meeting all of my step-sister's hot cousins and friends. My mom, step-dad and step-sister Maria are in the Tahoe an hour ahead. They thought we were behind put we had to stop for a smoke break 5 minutes from our place. Another good thing bout summer is the freedom, so im happen i brought my bong. Rolling stoned isnt too bad going down a highway, and we left late so we wouldnt hit too hard of traffic. I see the shore line coming up in view, meaning we were fifteen minutes away. John trying to smoke up quick but no ones smoking up this car anytime soon. The parents are suspicious, and my ma has a mega nose, especially with cars. Well, cars only. She doesn't care about much, but rolling high is pretty much that, coke, and underage binging are the only things she hates. My step dad's pretty chill. He's a bro and we drink at home every weekend. This is the first time since he married mom that we're going to the beach. Hopefully well chill on the beach every day. We're unpacked now, and it's like 430. Mom says drop all and head to the shore. Surprising to us, my step-family is all on the beach. My step dad and his two brothers dump 24 packs into a giant cooler. I love my step family. We chill in the best sand in great sun drinking beer until dark, where we go to my rich car dealer uncle's place on the sand and have pizza. Im nowhere near drunk cause i took it easy, but my plastered dad tosses me the keys to go back home with John. However, we take Paige and two of my step cousins, Janey and Lara. Paige is a friend of mine from school as well as Maria's cousin, who is bangin, and Jane and Lara are tanned with amazing bodies, all still in suits. My honda's chock full of sexy right now besides the dumb fuck Johnny, who without missing a beat pulls the ounce from under the seat and prepares his pipe. Pulling into our place, we go onto the porch to smoke. We're all feeling good, and John's trying to get some action already. He's clear because hes not related to anyone, but im step cousin to these guys. "You don't know?" Paige asks. "Know what?" I ask. "You know like how chill we are?" I love her family because how chill they are, so yeah I know. "Yeah." "Well, we fuck. Our family. Our male cousins aren't here, but we fuck. All of us." "Wa--Wait. You mean-" "Yeah." "Is it like orgy fest or less-" "Anything." I love this family too much to not take part, and im not blood related. "What are we waiting for?" John being the horny fuck he is is half naked, but the girls are set to head upstairs. I wonder where they're going. I empty the pipe out and stick my shit in my car. I was kinda nervous going back up expecting anything. I was kinda ready but I couldn't find them. I thought they would be like in the living room or something. I could feel my heart pounding. What if I suck at sex? What if I can't get it up? What if Im too small? I head upstairs and hear the shower running. I head in the bathroom to find John getting sucked off by Lara, and Paige and Janey are undressing each other. My shirt’s on the floor and Paige steps into the shower with Janey. It’s a big shower with room for us and then some. There’s a little bench on the inside, with shower heads pointing in all directions throughout. It’s on but it’s not rough, it’s a pleasant shower. Im nude, and I look over to John. He’s doin Lara doggy while she’s bending over the toilet. Going in, I stand on the corner wall to get a bj from Paige. All the feelings of being her bro become wanting to be her boyfriend. Wow, I love her ass. Seeing her crouched sucking me off was amazing, looking into her eyes. Janey took turns, and she was pretty good at it. She was enthusiastic and probably had experience in her times with her cousins. They both look real sexy in a shower. If we stay awhile here, were definitely fucking here again. Both girls are licking my dick, and I love it. Janey eats my balls, which she does like a veteran. They get up and put me on the shower bench thing. There is plenty of room on this thing, so Janey gets on me boobs facing me. Her boobs are bigger than Paige’s, but she’ s not as physically sexy as she is. She fucks me real good, alternating speeds, her tight pussy is amazing when she rolls her pelvis. She starts bouncing, and I’m ready to cum. “Shit-“ Janey gets off me and the hot water forces a huge shot out of me. Solid 4 roper. Paige is down, so she tries to get me up by sucking me again. Shower shots wipe me out normally, but Paige is fineeee. She turns off the side jets, and lays on the bench. I thought she could be more creative, but I think something is wrong. I come over to fuck her, but when I approach, she winces. “Careful. Virgin.” I’m shocked. She never fucked her cousins before. I love it, and Im her first. Her pussy is cute, and she wraps her legs kinda around me. I slowly go in, and it takes a little out and in, finally surprising her and breaking her. She winces and screams, and we chill for a bit for her to stop crying. “That wasn’t too bad. Have you done that before?” “Maybe.” Janey gets out to get with John, so it was just me and Paige. We got to spend time with each other finally. We got out of the shower and dried off, and went to the living room after we got dressed. I kinda just held her as we lay across the couch. We watched a movie and kinda drifted off. I woke up in the same way with her. She was snug against me half awake too. It was about 1030 when I woke up, so I went to the kitchen, got some OJ, and put a glass for her on the coffee table. I went looking for John and the girls. He was asleep by himself. I think the girls were tired of him. The house was empty, just us 5. What should I do for the time until they’re awake? I thought. I went out to the car to fetch my stash, went back inside, left the pipe in my room, and made “brownies.” Delicious and fun. Half an hour later the brownies were done and all the girls found their way to the kitchen from the smell of chocolate. I shelled them out to let them cool, and when they were good we had our fill and I stashed the rest in a bag. I kept the seeds for my project. The rest of our people walk in at around two when were just about chill from our brownies. John barely makes it back in our room unseen in his birthday suit just waking up. I run in to check on him. “What the fuck happened to you?” “My dick wouldn’t quit.” “Ahhh enough said.” I got my suit on to go back to the beach. We were all going, but my mom said we were going somewhere special. She needed someone to carry umbrellas, so I volunteered to put them in the back seat, so I could only take one passenger. You would think this would be dumb, but fear not. Paige volunteer to ride shotgun. John was pissed. “I’ll go with Sam.” Said Paige. “Deal.” I replied. “Son, get the big cooler from the back. We’re gonna be there until dinner.” I put the cooler in the trunk, and started the car. I was excited just to be with Paige, alone. Even if it included driving for half an hour. Driving down we just talked about school, our friends, the drive up, and last night. “I’m still sore from the break.” “The best way to help it is more sex. No lie.” Well, maybe I was lying. I think she was horny to, she wasn’t too reluctant to the thought of fucking out the pain. “Do you like shower fucking?” She asked. “Yeah, but it’s hard getting hard again. Showers really drain guys.” “You had no trouble last night when we did it.” “Well, you were helping me. It’s hard not to get it up if you’re doing the work.” “Really? You think I’m hot?” “Oh no. More like drop dead sexy.” At that note, as we hit the highway, she unzipped my water-able shorts and pulled out my dick. Boom, road head. She started rubbing me, but she was uncertain of what she was doing. “Am I doing good?” “Yeah, just keep it like that.” I was at a decent hard when she leaned over and starting licking my tip. I shuddered in pure joy. “Shiiiit. You’re good at this. Don’t st—OHH.” She was across the front seat giving me head. God it was nice. The constant hot on my dick was amazing. I didn’t want it to stop, but my gps warned me we were a mile from the turn. I leaned into it so I could cum. “Shit. Shit. Do you want cum in your mouth?” She didn’t hesitate at all. Just a block from the turn, the climax was an explosion. The draining of my nuts was the greatest thing ive ever felt. I rolled down her window, she was pointing at it franctically. She spat out the jizz, and the guy behind us started honking. I looked out the rear view, and I saw the mother fucker clapping, pointing at me in celebration. I raised my fist just to signal victory. 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2023.03.20 20:28 snaintvrgx 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by snaintvrgx to ustzmprj0f [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/3urcjigz3yoa1.gifArchive-author: Steve Jensen Archive-title: Brittany Fifteen-year-old Rob Kramer was worried sick about becoming a Sixteen-year-old virgin. He wasn’t a bad looking guy. Just an ordinary kid. Brown Hair. Brown eyes. Average build. Not tall enough to be a basketball legend and not wide enough to be a fullback. He rarely got less than a C or more that a B. Rob thought of himself as Mr. Average. He had a few brief encounters with girls but sexually had never gotten past the feeling-up stage. Lately, Rob was having a hard time understanding the mixed feelings he was having lately about his 13 year old sister. Even though he was only two years older, he had always been protective of her. Sure, they argued and fought as typical kids always did, but he still always made sure that she caught the school bus, had her lunch and the other things that a protective brother would do. And he knew that she looked up to him as a “big brother” even though she did sometimes act bratty. Brittany was always “Little Miss Perfect”. Straight A’s in school. Room always immaculate. Her clothes always matched. Her chestnut brown hair was always precision cut with perfectly straight bangs in front and straight across her back. She had big brown eyes that could radiate whatever expression she was feeling. They had a habit of making people want to do Brittany’s bidding. Until now, he had always thought of her as a little kid. She had been in elementary school. She never paid attention to boys. Her body had not yet started the adolescent development... until now. The first thing he noticed was the subtle way she started appearing in a training bra. Second thing was that she had started flirting with his friends. Third thing was that she had made out with Jeremy, one of the guys he knew from school. They wasn’t sure if they actually did it, but he had overheard Jeremy say that he felt her up while they frenched. Ever since he heard that he thought of his little sister frenching some guy with his hand in her pants and things were not the same. Jeremy was one of the most popular kids at school with the girls. He was always going out with the cheerleader types and Rob was not sure why he would waste his time with Brittany because she was still in Junior High. Unless Brittany was a real easy lay. Shit, if she wasn’t his sister, he would fuck her. The night before he had jacked off thinking about Brittany and Jeremy. In the locker room after P.E., Rob made a special effort to be in the shower at the same time as Jeremy. For some reason, if there was the slightest chance that his cock been inside his sister - or if she had even had her hand on it - he wanted to get a good look at it. At least when he jacked off, he would have some detail about what Jeremy looked like when he imagined him fucking his sister. Rob had never had any real interest in guys but he was just interested in seeing what his sister may have seen, or even touched, and what it would have looked like. Jeremy was blonde and very fair skinned. He had piercing blue eyes that were part of what made the girls go crazy over him. Rob watched as he soaped himself down. Fortunately, Jeremy had his eyes closed in the shower and this gave Rob the opportunity to really stare at his cock. It was about the same size as his but thicker and uncut. It hung majestically from the crown of close blonde pubic hair that very lightly adorned the boy’s groin. When Jeremy turned, rob saw a smooth, perfectly rounded, hairless butt. He pictured in his mind that ass pumping as the cock slid in and out of his sister. He was starting to get a hard on and realized that he had better stop before he became the joke of the locker room. He wanted so bad to find out from Jeremy exactly what they did but he was afraid to ask one of the guys that Jeremy had been talking to because someone may think that he was getting the hots for his own sister. It was just the thought that his little 7th grade sister may have lost her virginity before he lost his that made him want to know for sure. He knew his thoughts about his sister were wrong and that he should stop thinking about her when he jacked off. But something that had happened two years ago when Brittany was 11 and he was 13 had made his sister one of his favorite imaginary images when he jacked off. Rob remembered sitting in the same chair that he was in now, watching TV., two years earlier... As Rob sat in the chair, the thought of jacking off made him want to go to bed. His mom sat watching Johnny Carson and drinking her third glass of wine and he knew she would be asleep soon... usually right there on the couch. “Night, Mom,” he said, getting up to go upstairs. “Goodnight, Robbie,” his mom said and then added, “make sure Brittany’s light is out on your way upstairs.” Rob didn’t remember the light until he had tossed his levis over the chair and started to climb in bed, anxious to start stroking his cock. He knew that if his mom noticed the light she would come upstairs to turn it off and he didn’t want to risk her looking in on him and maybe catching him beating off. He started to grab his levis but then shrugged and proceeded without them. It would just take a second and it was just across the hall. Dressed only in his jockey shorts, he crossed the hall to his sister’s room as he had done several times. She left the light on a lot, especially if she thought there was a chance of a night time storm. He entered her room and as by familiar feel turned off her light. He was surprised that the room did not darken and noticed that she had left the closet light on as well. “Damn,” he uttered under his breath as he crossed the room to turn it out. On his way to the closet he stepped on a pair of his sister’s panties. When he looked down and saw them, he looked next over to his sister. She slept in an oversized tee shirt and was on top of the covers, on her stomach, her face buried in her pillow. The thoughts that quickly ran through Rob’s mind frightened him but the fear of getting caught was quickly overcome by the excitement of getting away with it. If Brit had nothing on under that shirt and he could lift it up without her waking, he could have a great view of his sister’s butt. Wow. That would make his upcoming masturbation session worth the wait. He picked up the panties in his hand and closed and locked her door on his way to the bed. The dim closet light was perfect and just enough light for him to see his sister clearly. He knew if she woke up that there would be hell to pay, so he would have to be careful. He quietly over to his sister’s bed and stood beside it for a few minutes watching her sleep. Her breathing was deep and steady and he was sure she was asleep. Brittany always had been a pretty sound sleeper and hard to get up for school in the morning. Robs heart raced so loud that he could hear it as he reached down and gently lifted the bottom of his sister’s shirt into the air. There it was. With the glow of the closet light bouncing off of it, the girls round, smooth but looked like a beautiful sculpture. Rob was having trouble breathing quietly because he was so excited and his heart was pounding wildly. His cock reached full stiffness almost immediately. After a few minutes of staring at his sister’s cute petite little ass and imagining Jeremy doing the same, it was too much for him to bear. He took his free hand and started massaging his cock through his jockey shorts. Slowly, he put Brittany’s shirt up with the bottom of it just above her waste. Now with both hands free, he held the front of his shorts down with one hand while he stroked his cock with the other. This was the best jackoff he had ever had, with a girl’s bare ass just a couple of feet from his erect cock. Never taking his eyes off his sister’s bare ass, Rob went into a full stroke masturbation, forgetting the short, slow, quiet strokes he had started with. Suddenly, Brittany moved! Rob panicked and was in front of her door in a split second. He would have been out the door but he forgot he had locked it and was fumbling with the lock in his panic. It took him a minute to get back control of his shaking hands, and in the interim he looked back at the bed. Brittany had turned completely over! She was still asleep, but this time she was on her back. It only took him a minute to realize that he could have the same view of her pussy that he had of her butt. In the time that it took him to get over to the bed, his panic had subsided. Again, Rob lifted Brittany’s pajama-tee shirt and gasped quietly at the sight of her tender, hairless mound. Rob lay the shirt down just above her navel and again started his jerking off, watching his sister’s bare pussy while he did it. He was once again into a steady rhythm when Brittany moved again. This time he didn’t panic and his only reaction was to allow his undershorts to snap back up over his swollen cock while he watched carefully to make sure that she wasn’t going to wake up. He had not clue what he would do if she did, but he was cautious, nevertheless. 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2023.03.20 20:28 rgfguaieuh 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by rgfguaieuh to x7c5gfk1ci [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/kwhd4b3z3yoa1.gifit all began when my sister and her friend brittany started to both like this boy, but they didnt know if he liked them or not, they are both 13 blond hair, about 89 LBS and they always like to wear slutty clothes around the house. I have always fantasized about being able to fuck Brittany because her ass is out of this world and when she wears some clothes, i can see her pussy through her pants ,that is something i would love to fuck but i did not know it would end up like this. Brittany: "Sam, you should really tell Brandon how you feel, maybe he likes you in the same way" Sam: "Brittany you know i cant do that, hes always with his friends and i don't even know if he thinks i am cute or not" Brittany: "well that's what you should find out girl" Sam: "lets just drop it for not okay Brittany?" that is usually the only conversations i hear between Brittany and my sister, but something really awsome happened that made me really want to fuck Brittany. during Christmas vacation, brittany was staying with us because her dad was getting hammered every night and she didnt want to be around him when he was drunk, so anyways, the night before Christmas eve, i woke up for a glass of water and when i went into the kitchen i decided to step past the living room to see if the girls were asleep, and guess what i saw? they were not asleep but completely naked, comparing boobs, and Brittany was showing Samantha how to masturbate. so i quickly walked past and went back to bed, with out my water, and i couldnt help but to pound my meat, fantasizing about Brittany and her bare, shaved pussy. It did not take me long at all to blow my load. The next day, it was like nothing happened, most girls will act weird around their friends in the morning after what i saw, but they were just the same, weird people i knew. mom: "so did you girls have fun last night?" both: "yes it was very fun" both smiling at each other Sam: oh mom me and Brittany are going to go to the school to meet some friends after breakfast mom: "okay, but make sure your home for lunch, i am going to Victoria for the day but i don't think Chris will want to stay home all day alone" Sam: "okay mom" after they leave I resume my regular day of watching porn. let me get something out in the open for an intermission, i am actually only 16, its young for someone to be writing sex stories, but i love this site and i thought i would make one of my own, so brittany and Samantha are 13 and i am 16, i am about 120 pounds, 5 ft 10, brown hair. well back to the story. Brittany: "so how long does it take to walk to the school Sam? Sam: oh about 30 minutes to an hour Brittany: "oh, OK well i think we should be back arou- Sam look! its Brandon". Sam: "oh my god, he is soo cute" "well you know what? there he is, all alone, you should go tell him how you feel "maybe your right, wish me luck" Brittany: "good luck Sam" Sam: "hey Brandon!" Brandon: "oh hey Sam, whats up" Sam: "um, i was just wandering if you happened to like me" Brandon: "oh, I'm sorry Sam but i only like you as friends" Sam: "oh well I'm sorry i guess that is not the answer she was looking for, she went back to brittany with tears in her eyes. Brittany: "well what did he say?" Sam: "he thinks of us as just friends..." Brittany: "well that really sucks, but i guess we should keep pleasuring each other" Sam: "yea... wait, what!!?? i know what happened last night, but I'm not a lesbian Brittany Brittany: "oh cmon, you know it felt good didn't you, cmon Sam, lets just try it and see what happens" Sam: "but what about my brother? hes home now too" Brittany: "who cares? we will just be quiet then" Sam: "okay..." So they come home acting all tired, and tell me they are going to get their bathing suits on and go outside in the pool, I am too wrapped up in my video games to care, but seeing Brittany in a bikini is always awesome, not knowing that i would soon be seeing way more than just that, they go into their room and shut the door. Brittany: "you ready Sam"? Sam: "i guess so, just make sure Chris doesn't hear us" after they strip down, they are completely naked and they start of by rubbing together Brittany: "oh my god!! this feels fucking aah good you cant say Aah that you don't like this" Sam: "god... your right brittany, it feels sooo good, i lovee it. after a while of playing my video games, gta 4 to be exact, i start to hear muffled moans and wimpers. at first i thought it was the dog, but i discovered it was my sister and brittany, so i went to their door and just listened. i suppose they stopped what ever they were doing because the moaning stopped dead Sam: " i love you so much brittany and i am soo glad chris did not find out about us. brittany: "i love you too and yes i am glad too but you gotta admit your brothers pretty cute" So after hearing all of this, i try my luck and i slowly open the door, right when they see me they both scream louder they i have ever heard in my entire life Sam" aaaaah!!! get out of here, Chris your such a perv!! Chris: " i know i am a perv, always will be, but i heard brittany saying something about me being cute?" and i start walking toward her Brittany: "Chris i swear, leave right now, yes i think your cute but your a total dick!! get away from me!!!" Chris: "I'm a total dick? tell me about it" i point down to my now fully erect cock. Brittany: "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! Chris: "oh cmon brittany lets just mess around a bit and if you want me to stop i will". before she has a chance to answer, i lunge at her and start massaging her pussy Brittany: "why you little- aah oh my god it feels soo good!!!! this is so wrong Chris, your such a perv!!! Chris: " your right I'll leave" and i start to walk away, teasing her. Brittany: "don't you even think about fucking leaving Chris" Chris" but i thought you wanted me to stop?" brittany: " i said it was wrong, i didn't say i wanted you to stop, get over here" Chris: " i was hoping you would say that" i walk back over and start tongue fucking her pussy, and i soon find her clit. Chris: "wow brittany your so wet, you taste so good Brittany: " that's your fault chrisss!!!! your turning me into a slut, and i love it!!!!!!!! fuck!!" Chris: "well I'm glad i could help" Brittany: " oh god!!! Chris I'm gonna cum!!!!!!!!, it feels so good!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaah!! Chris: "wow, you must have been really horny to cum THAT much, god, your soaked, you wont tell your mom about this right brittany?" Brittany: "hell no Chris i swear i wont. Chris: "OK good, maybe we'll do this again sometime" and i get up to leave the room brittany: "wait Chris" Chris: "ha ha what now?" she comes up to my ear, and whispers, "fuck me Chris, i want to feel your dick inside me" Did i hear correctly? i was just fingering and tongue fucking her pussy and now she wants me to penetrate her? i was shocked. Brittany: "please Chris i really want you to be the one i lose my virginity to" there's the million doller statement, she was still a virgin, i wanted to fuck her but i have never actually fucked a girl who was a virgin so i was kind of worried, i have been around the block a few times though so i knew what i was doing Chris: "yes i would love to" trying to lose the worry in my voice. before i knew it, she was frantically trying to get my jeans and boxers off. god, i cant believe she actually asked me to fuck her, what was i gonna say? no? no way in hell would i miss my chance Brittany: "oh god Chris, its so big!" Chris: " if you wouldn't mind, i would like to skip the blowjob until later and get right to the fucking" i see in the corner of my eye that samantha is still just laying there looking shocked that i was going to fuck her best friend. Chris: "brittany you know this is going to hurt for a minute right? brittany: " yes i know my mom told me that if a guy fucks me, i will bleed a little and it will hurt and with that I pound into her, most people say to slowly break her hymen but i was thinking its like a bandage, rip it off fast and get it over with Brittany: owww!!!!!! god dammit! did you really have to go in so fast??!??! Chris: "I'm sorry, i just thought you would want to get it over with, god your so tight!! a few minutes later, she gives me the okay signal and i continue my fucking, i have a 9 inch at age 16 so she thought it was huge. Chris: "god brittany you are so fucking tight, it feels so good brittany: "OH GOD CHRIS!!!! I LOVE THIS FEELING, FUCK ME HARDER!!!!!! STICK YOUR WHOLE LENGTH IN ME!!" Chris:" brittany!! I'm gonna cum!!!!" i start to pull out quickly brittany:" wait Chris!!!!!!!! i am on the pill don't pull out please!!!! Chris: "aaahh!!" Brittany: "ohh god Chris that was awesome, thank you!" Chris: " any time brittany" Brittany: "we should do this more often chris, my mom and dad go to work every Monday and Wednesday, would you want me to come over again?" Chris: "hell yea brittany i would love that Sam: "you know I'm going to tell mom right? breaking her silence both: "what!??!!?? Sam: "yea, this is gross, i will tell mom Chris: "Samantha what can i do to have you not tell mom, anything? Sam: "fine, every time brittany comes over, you give me $20.00 before you do your thing Chris: "god dammit, fine, just don't tell mom brittany: "well my mom called earlier, she said i could go home now" gives me a quick kiss on the lips "well I'm gonna get going, bye Samantha, and Chris?" Chris: "yea? brittany: "call me, i'll be on face book later, I'll talk to you soon, thanks again. Chris: "no problem brittany" ____________________________________________________________________________________ chapter 2? Emily comes to visit, and Brittany's dad explodes. i do have more of the story, if you want for me to put the rest, say so in the comments Read 20661 times Rated 68.9 % (74 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text: skinny cam girl pigtails and very sexy ass VIVIANA CHAMITA EN PERU TRAMPEANDO Teen boys hung gay After school snack Hogtied babe gets cunt fisted in dungeon Spanish slave on leash in public Cute blonde teen sucking soloboy in shower Kayleigh Coxx taking his dick with passion hot shemale big cock Big Tits MILF GangBanged and Eating Cum Wife rides reverse cowgirl on friend Euro mature teen and orgy Old smart gentleman with a youthful Amazing BACKSHOTS !!! 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2023.03.20 20:28 fucksafeway Severe constipation
I am aware that this medication has constipation as a possible side effect. But I have a question regarding this side effect.
My psychiatrist prescribed me 150 mg of the extended release, generic brand. After some time I upped to 300 mg. I've been on the 300 for almost 2 months now. Around late February I noticed I started feeling really nauseous after eating and started dealing with constipation. To the point of not being able to eat as much and my stomach cramping. So I took dulcolax, which normally kicks in for me quick... after 4 hours I shit my brains out. however, this time it took much longer. Right after the laxative wore off, I went right back to being constipated. Same thing happened with magnesium citrate.
I've unfortunately had to manually remove stool for some relief and I noticed I feel a lump inside my anus. So I may have an internal hemorrhoid. I went to my doc and did blood and urine tests, ruled out pregnancy and other possible issues. I noticed my bones under my breast hurt. I've had chest pain due to build up of gas. I feel very bloated and sometimes it hurts to walk around. I have to use my heating pad a lot.
I'm wondering if anyone here experienced this side effect as extreme as I am and if it ever went away. I don't believe this med is helping me anyway, it did at first but now I just don't feel right and the constipation is making it hard to function. I think it's worth mentioning that shortly after I noticed the constipation (but I didn't think it was the Wellbutrin causing it), we tried having me go up to 450 since my depression was still bad, and it lead me to being aggressive and having suicidal thoughts. Also made my body tingly and twitchy in my arms and legs I was scared I was gonna have a seizure and I've never had one before. I was only on this dose for a few days. So I went back down to 300.
Before this med I hardly ever got constipated, and when I did, it was minor and resolved after eating food with more fiber, drinking water, coffee, etc. I made no changes to my lifestyle before and after the med so I'm pretty confident the med is causing this. It scares me to use a laxative and then be constipated again right after. It feels like there's no end in sight.
submitted by fucksafeway to bupropion [link] [comments]
My psychiatrist prescribed me 150 mg of the extended release, generic brand. After some time I upped to 300 mg. I've been on the 300 for almost 2 months now. Around late February I noticed I started feeling really nauseous after eating and started dealing with constipation. To the point of not being able to eat as much and my stomach cramping. So I took dulcolax, which normally kicks in for me quick... after 4 hours I shit my brains out. however, this time it took much longer. Right after the laxative wore off, I went right back to being constipated. Same thing happened with magnesium citrate.
I've unfortunately had to manually remove stool for some relief and I noticed I feel a lump inside my anus. So I may have an internal hemorrhoid. I went to my doc and did blood and urine tests, ruled out pregnancy and other possible issues. I noticed my bones under my breast hurt. I've had chest pain due to build up of gas. I feel very bloated and sometimes it hurts to walk around. I have to use my heating pad a lot.
I'm wondering if anyone here experienced this side effect as extreme as I am and if it ever went away. I don't believe this med is helping me anyway, it did at first but now I just don't feel right and the constipation is making it hard to function. I think it's worth mentioning that shortly after I noticed the constipation (but I didn't think it was the Wellbutrin causing it), we tried having me go up to 450 since my depression was still bad, and it lead me to being aggressive and having suicidal thoughts. Also made my body tingly and twitchy in my arms and legs I was scared I was gonna have a seizure and I've never had one before. I was only on this dose for a few days. So I went back down to 300.
Before this med I hardly ever got constipated, and when I did, it was minor and resolved after eating food with more fiber, drinking water, coffee, etc. I made no changes to my lifestyle before and after the med so I'm pretty confident the med is causing this. It scares me to use a laxative and then be constipated again right after. It feels like there's no end in sight.
2023.03.20 20:27 auoaueqygs 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by auoaueqygs to 22wvkry32e [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/7etz48ew3yoa1.gifMy cousin (Jace) drives me over to his house and we walk in. Two little munchkins run over to me and hug my legs. I pick up the tiny one and carry him to the kitchen where my uncle is. I set him down so I can get a hug. "Hey! I'm here to babysit." I say with a wink. The little kids cheer and my uncle fake cheers. "So, isn't it about time these munchkins take a nap?" I ask. They sigh in unison and walk towards their room. When they are out of sight, my uncle pulls me in for a kiss and I hear my cousin walk down the hall. He must not have liked watching that. I kiss him again and then go to tuck in the kids. Jace was kneeling at the side of one of the beds tucking in a little one. I tucked in the other and kissed him on the forehead. They started drifting off to sleep immediately so Jace and I walk out of the room. I shut the door and pin him against the wall. I kiss him and touch him tenderly. I whisper in his ear "are you sure you can handle watching us?" "As long as I get you after in my room." He says and kisses me again. I nod and we walk to the main room. Uncle is sitting on the couch and I go and straddle his lap. He enjoys this. "I'm going to my room. Have fun." My cousin says. I kiss my uncle to distract from Jace sneaking into his dad's room. I told him of the dark corner of the room that has a blanket in it. He is to sit in the corner under the blanket and watch us silently. We make out for a few minutes so Jace can get settled. Then I pull away and tell him for us to take it to his room. He agrees and slaps my ass the whole way there. I flop onto the bed and wait for him to do something. He takes his shirt off and I spread my legs and touch myself. He grins as he takes his pants off. He wasn't wearing underwear so his cock sprung to life. I gasped and giggled. He gives it a few tugs to make it fully erect before stepping forward and removing my shoes, socks, and my panties. He pulls on my legs and brings my ass to the end of the bed. My legs are spread and I am completely exposed. I watch as his mouth nears my cunt. I feel his warm breath against me and I shiver in anticipation. His fingers lightly touch my wetness and slide into my pussy. I gasp as his fingers curl inside of me. My head rolls to the side and I catch a small glance of Jace before my body jerks ferociously as my uncle finds my G spot. I didn't know this spot existed inside of me until this moment. "Oh Uncle! Mmmmmhmmm!" I shout as my body writhes under his touch. He said some dirty things to me but I was focused on keeping eye contact with Jace. He is jerking off under the blanket he is hiding with. The eye contact triggers something in me and I feel tingles deep inside. "I...I...I'm gonna cum!" I breathe out heavily. My pussy walls clamp around his fingers and I see Jace get ready to cum too. My mouth opens signaling my release, but Jace’s didn’t. I feel a different pressure inside my pussy, and then I squirt in my Uncle's face. I gasp and so does he. My body goes limp and my Uncle licks up my juices. "I'm gonna go shower hun. You can join when you want." He says and kisses my forehead. He saunters off to the bathroom with a deflated cock. I figure he came somewhere on the floor, and when I sit up to put on my panties, I see he came in my panties. Like father like son. I stand up naked and feel light headed. I sit down on the floor and crawl to my cousin. I kiss him and remove his blanket. His cock shows that he's still hard. I put his cock between my legs and rub my pussy along the length. He pulls one of my breasts into his mouth. My nipple hardens instantly and I get lost in the feeling of ecstasy. “I just squirted Jace...” I whisper. “How did that happen?” I feel his cock start to move on it’s own while in my hand. I know he’s gonna burst so I push his tip into my pussy and he erupts inside of me. I stand up with his cum running down my legs and go to the bathroom. I step into the shower with my uncle and let the rest of my cousin’s cum dribble out. My uncle is facing away from me so I sneakily hug him from behind. My boobs press into his back and my arms wrap around his waist. “Uncle? How did you learn to do that?” I ask him. “Oh my little darling... you don’t wanna know the amount of women I’ve been with. I’ve been with some seedy women and some women who just want my seed.” He tells me as he attempts a really bad and sexual dad joke. I don’t laugh so he continues. “I learned it from your aunt... she really enjoyed sex, hence her running off with a guy 10 years younger than her and leaving me with the kids.” “Well look at you Uncle... you’re with a girl that’s almost half your age... doesn’t that make you feel desirable?” I say as I grip his cock and start jacking his hardening prick off. “I don’t know why she would leave you... you’re so talented and experienced... the way you make my toes curl and my dreams dirty.... mmmmm... I just can’t comprehend why she wouldn’t want you inside of her every night.” At that moment, my Uncle turns around, picks me up, and pins me to the shower wall. His lips meet mine and we make out passionately. His hands grab at my ass and massage it. I reach between us and find his cock. I try pushing it in, but I’m at the wrong angle. Uncle takes matters into his own hands and puts himself inside of me. I slowly slide down his shaft and moan. He holds me against the wall as he slowly fucks me. “You’re my slutty little niece. I love it.” He whispers as he pushes deep inside. I moan my approval because I can’t talk from my brains being scrambled while I orgasm. He inserts a few more times before he erupts again and sets me down. We finish in the shower as we tease each other and wash up. “I’m gonna nap. You can join me if you want.” He suggests as we wrap our bodies in towels. “No thanks. I think I’m going to go catch up with Jace. I haven’t seen him in a while. I’ll be back up when the boy’s nap is over.” “Okay. Have fun. See you in a bit.” He says and lays in his bed naked and still somewhat damp. I grab my bag from the kitchen and take it downstairs with me. Before I go to my cousin, I put on a comfy outfit. I then make my way to where Jace is sitting on his couch. I plop down beside him and look up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Jacey... can we pwetty pweese just cuddle? I’m exhausted...” I beg in a childish voice. “Uncle wore me out. We can still do things tonight... I’ll sleep down here with you?” I try to bargain. “Fine, but you owe me a blowjob with that magical mouth of yours.” “Deal! Can we cuddle right now?” He nods and leads me to the bed. He lays down and I snuggle into his side. I feel so cozy that I decide to kiss him. Kissing leads to making out. Making out leads to touching. Touching leads to him grinding his cock on my pussy. This sends me and him over the edge. “Damn... do you not get much at college? I’m surprised how fast you finished.” “I was playing with myself waiting for you.” He says with a wink. We then cuddle for a half hour while everyone else naps. When times up, I reluctantly climb out of Jace’s arms and go upstairs to wake up the boys. The little ones sleepily make their way to the living room to gradually wake up and then play with their toys. I head to uncle’s room and climb on his bed. I jump up and down and he eventually wakes up smiling at me. I plop down and kiss him. “Good morning Uncle. The boys are up and apparently so is your boy. Take care of that because I have a surprise for you tonight.” “Another surprise? You’re gonna give this old man a heart attack.” I bound out of his room and cook some dinner for everyone while the boys played outside with uncle. We all ate the delicious dinner I made and then the boys sat down for a movie night with Jace. They were happy to have their big brother back for a bit. Uncle and I retreated to the bedroom. I have stashed my bag in his bathroom while they were outside playing. Uncle sits on the bed and waits for me. I go to the bathroom to change. I slip on some lingerie I stole from my mom and look at myself in the mirror. The red satin and black lace make me look sexier than I ever have before. I feel my nipples harden as I roll up the stockings and attach them to the garter belt. Uncle has no idea what is waiting for him on this side of the door. I then proceed to find the song I want to play for this lap dance and strip tease. Candy Shop by 50 cent. It’s on a speaker in the bedroom but is quiet enough that the little boys can’t hear it over their movie. I press play and open the door. His jaw drops as I step out and sway my hips to the music. As soon as I get in front of him, the lyrics start and so do I. I drop straight down and pop back up. I swivel around and shake my ass in his face. I sway back around and shake my big tits in his face. He loves this and then I pay my pussy and back up. I start unclipping my stockings one clip at a time. One fell, then I stepped out of it. I did the other one to the same beat. Then I shake my ass at him a bit more. He had gotten extremely hard in his shorts. I grab his hands and put them on my hips. I smirk at him and whisper “take them off birthday boy”. He slips them off to reveal my fully shaven pussy but like he likes it. I push him back on the bed and straddle his waist as I grind on his lap. His member jumps slightly and I get off. I drop to my knees and release his cock. He immediately reacts to my touch. I suck his cock to the beat of the song. Down. Up. Lick the tip. He smirked at me and let me do my thing. He started taking my bra off tho. He really likes my perky D cup tits. With me completely undressed and him thoroughly turned on, he pulled me on his lap and proceeded to kiss me. I was attempting to sit on his cock, but he stopped me. “You’re amazing. 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2023.03.20 20:27 lqbeuaubiv 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
 | submitted by lqbeuaubiv to vudpvvjp8j [link] [comments] IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMIF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUMhttps://i.redd.it/wmesdfsv3yoa1.gifI can't begin to tell you how much I love Jane. I mean, she is the perfect package. She's 5'6, thin, 32C tits, athletic, and smart. We've both been best friends since we were 14. Three solid, fun years. Three solid, fun years that I've just wanted to pounce on her, my dick in that tight pussy I masturbate to when I'm down. I almost came when I found out that me, her, and our friends are going on vacation at a resort in Hawaii. Nice break from the rural scene, and a nice way I can spill the beans, and no parents to catch me fucking that heaven we all call Jane. "Alex, ALEX? Dude, are you dead?" asked Dan, waving his hand in my ear. "Oh, sorry, I was just stunned on this fucking awesome vacation. Can I talk to you in the kitchen?" Me and Dan walked into the kitchen. While we were talking, Rob, Mark, and Gina had plans. They wanted to eavesdrop on me. "No guys, that's fucking dumb. Alex and Dan are experts at overhearing, they now the tricks," Jane said. "And your point iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssss?" asked Rob. "They'll catch you in 5 seconds." Meanwhile, I had to tell Dan something. "Dude, I had to say it. I love Jane. I fucking love her. I just want to fuck her on that hotel bed, her pussy so tight it makes me cum endlessly." "Alright dude, it sounds awesome and all, but that's kind of impossible. Right on dude. Happy humping." Me and Dan finally came out of the kitchen after seemingly endless minutes. Mark looks at his watch. "Oh crap, 10. We gotta go if we don't want to all have bed heads tomorrow when we go to Hawaii. All except Alex, come with me." Right then I went upstairs and tried to go to sleep. I ended up getting 2 hours of sleep, the other 6 thinking about how I might fuck the chick I love. My friends came at 6:30. I somehow managed to get packed, dressed, and showered in a half an hour. "Ready to go, guys?" I asked, eagerly. You guessed it, in a flash we got to the car, and drove to the airport. It was a hell of a time flying down to Hawaii. We kept having to stop at the expense of a cheap 6 person flight. We stopped twice before we even got to California. We were all wiped out when we got to Hawaii that we couldn't get out of sleeping on the first day of vacation. On the second day, things started cooking. In the evening, we went in the pool. Me and the rest played marco polo. I ended up being Marco. Soon, evening became night, and this is when things get really fucking awesome. Jane was sleeping with Rob and Mark, but Mark was snoring, and she couldn't sleep, so she crawled into my bed. Soon, without being noticed, I ran my hand up Jane's skirt. I found out she was wearing a thong. I took it off as lightly as possible to not wake her up. Then I went in with my fingers. Two fingers in her cunt, she moaning. I knew she was going to wake everyone up, so I took her into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and then I fingered her more. The shower woke her up fully. "What's going on?" she looks over at me. "ALEX??" I took my fingers out of her wet cunt. I said, stunned, "Look Jane, I love you. I love you so much!" "I love you too. What a weird way to confess!" She took off her shirt, bra, and skirt, and my boxers, the only thing I slept in. Then we made out, our tounges fucking like we are in a minute. In an instant, I attacked her 32C tits, licking them all over. I heard her moan with pleasure and I felt her tits get hard. "Ooh... Alex... ooh..." Jane was moaning. And I haven't even begun yet. Slowly but surely, I put my 8 inches into her cunt. This time she was practically screaming. After 10 minutes of rocking in and out fast, we both knew we were going to cum. "I'M GONNA CUM!" I yelled. "I'm on the pill!" she yelled tangled in her own orgasm. I knew I wasn't going to last, so I just let the cum go. Steady spurts came out until the last, HUGE one. I swear, i've never cummed that hard in my life. And I've had sex lots of times. I guess my cum pushed her over the edge, driving her mad. Her voice was becoming extremely high, and she was shaking and holding on to me like she was gonna die. Then, the cum burst out, my penis being drenched in her sex. She cummed harder than I did. It took us about 1 minute to recover from our orgasms, my cock limp and she herself limp. Then we got up and things started up again, this time oral sex. She sucked like I rocked in her cunt, not ever gagging. She is amazing. After about 10 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I cummed almost as hard as last time. I don't know when my cock is going to go limp again. The minute she took my cock out of her mouth, I put it in her pussy. I could tell she was still recovering from her last orgasm, she was moaning like crazy with my 8 inches in her. About 30 minutes in, she cummed. She was too tired to top her last orgasm, but she got a decent 4 spurts. I got limp too. As much as it pained us, we had to stop. We couldn't go on. We, without waking everyone up, got clothes off our hangers, and put them on. We soon crawled into bed. Jane whispered to me, "That was amazing." Dan woke up. "What was going on in the shower?" he whispered. "Me and Jane fucked, now go to sleep." We all fell asleep. At 7:00, only me and Jane woke up. We wrote a note and went down to breakfast. The minute we went out of the hotel room, Dan woke up in shock. "You and Jane fucked?" He woke everyone up. "What?" Gina asked. "OK, I think Alex and Jane had shower sex. I guess he got his wish," said Dan. "OH MY GOD! AND THIS NOTE SAYS THEY WENT DOWN TO BREAKFAST! WE HAVE TO GET DETAILS!" yelled Rob. Rob, Mark, Gina, and Dan ran down to breakfast. "Word on the street is that you two had shower sex," said Mark. Alex gave Dan a mad, yet happy look. "Daaaaaaannnn? What did you tell them?" "Aww, cabbage patch kids." "Alright guys, get your story. We did do it." "I KNEW IT!" they all exclaimed. "Okay, now, can we order, guys? We'll talk about it in the room. We have to eat." I was starving. Jane whispered in my ear, "Tonight, when everyone falls asleep." I can't wait. Read 14475 times Rated 69.8 % (55 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text: winstar casino oklahoma Israeli Wife fucked in the ass - Screaming orgasm Milking Mermaids Its Cleo & Annie Knight Blow Dick In Pool! 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