Wvu men's basketball schedule

heya. I compose music, play piano, program (sometimes, im kinda bad at it), and play basketball. I collect sneakers and vinyl records.
gaming wise, some of my favorites are Deltarune, Omori, Yume Nikki, gay people RPGs basically. I don't play a ton of multiplayer games but I hop on Rainbow 6 or TF2 every now and then
dm me on discord MagicalFishing#9417 do NOT dm me here i dont check my reddit messages
my sleep schedule doesnt really exist but im awake more often during the night (EST)

There's a history of people not reading my profile and are messaging me randomly. PLEASE read the entire thing in full. Not to be mean but please note that I do not want to chat with anybody outside my search radius. My intention is to find somebody to date locally. Although becoming friends is a first step towards a long term relationship, I'm not looking to just chat for the heck of it or to make friends without persuing a relationship. There's plenty of other subreddits for that and I'm not here for that. Please respect my wishes. Thank you.
It's been a while since I did the whole online dating thing. My last relationship was 7 years ago and I'm ready to get back into it.
First off, I'm HORRIBLE with making profiles or describing myself. I thought I knew what I wanted but as life goes on I realize that those things change, but some things don't. I need somebody who is positive and uplifting, who absolutely loves to laugh and can just get lost in laughter. I would like to think I'm a funny guy but I'm pretty sure I think I'm way more funnier than I am. lol I want to be able to feel free to be my goofy self around somebody. I'm only interested in dating somebody local to me, within an hour's-ish drive.
Everybody has something that they look for in a person. Some people like physical features, such as beauty or a fit body, and some others look for personality features such as intelligence or humorless, and lots of people like the combination of both sets of features. As for me, I'm attracted to tiny, goofy women, who have character, intelligence and are funny. I love humor in a woman. I would love to find somebody who loves to travel and is a tradesman. I would like to have an age gap when dating, but it's not at all a deal breaker. I'm open to dating anybody any age but I have a preference, if possible, to not date somebody more than 5 years older than me, but that too is not a deal breaker.
Some information about me... I live in Central Ohio, I'm a weird, goofy, white male, 40 years of age, bearded, and a Christian, although I haven't been to church in a while (probably 3-5 years). I'm okay dating Christian and non-Christian people. I'm looking to date women or anybody who identifies as woman or fem. I'm not interested in dating men -at-all-. I'm looking to date that leads to a long term relationship, and possibly marriage. I love traveling, I love my dog, I love working on projects when I can, and I love "That's what she said" jokes. lol I live in a house with 2 other women to whom I am not related or dating. I've lived here for the last 13 years and I'll move out here at some point soon. I've been thinking about moving somewhere but I don't know where to move to yet.
Some things I enjoy are syfy movies and shows such as Stargate, Salvation, Star Trek, Marvel movies, and I also like some non-syfy stuff like I Love Lucy, Jack Ryan, and The Carbonaro Effect. Do you know what The Carbonaro Effect is? Well, it's the name of a hidden camera... magic... tv show, just like the one you're on right now. :) I'm also a gamer. I used to stream and had a decent following. I'm slowly getting back into it, although it's not really my passion anymore. Some friends are coming over on Saturday to clean out our basement and I am going to convert the non-finished area into a finished basement and make a sweet gaming space out of it. I have my own income, and I have my own car, which I absolutely love but wish it didn't break down so much. :( I'm going to be traveling here in April to a family reunion, something that our family has never had but something I wanted for a while now and everybody's schedule finally meshed. Yay!
I know that online dating can be scary so I'm open to chatting online for a while before eventually meeting in person. I am NOT looking for a solely online relationship, been there, done that, never again. I will want to meet somebody in person within the first month or so of meeting them online.
I don't know what else to say. lol I'm terrible at this kind of stuff but I'll update this (if I can) when I think of more stuffs to add. Feel free to message me if you like. I look forward to hearing from you. :)
Not to be mean but please note that I do not want to chat with anybody outside my search radius. My intention is to find somebody to date locally. Although becoming friends is a first step towards a long term relationship, I'm not looking to just chat for the heck of it or to make friends without persuing a relationship. There's plenty of other subreddits for that and I'm not here for that. Please respect my wishes. Thank you.
If you've heard of the 5 love languages, then the following will make sense to you. If not, I encourage you to look up "The 5 Love Languages". It's really awesome stuff. My primary love language is physical touch with quality time as my secondary. What's yours?

My girlfriend from Tuguegarao City was almost kidnapped yesterday by unknown men in a van. Luckily, the two girls who was with her pulled her off. She is always prone to this. Minsan sinasabi niyang pinalo siya ng tricycle driver sa pwet, di tumigil yung tricycle, and so on. There have been a lot of reports on Facebook and Twitter these days about women being harassed by unknown men in Tuguegarao and my girlfriend's schedule is still 7:30 AM until 8 PM. Minsan sobra pa nga e. I hope the University and their local Police should do something about this as soon as possible. This was already reported to the Dean. She still talks to me and watch videos like a normal person. If I was in her situation, i'd shit myself and will stop talking to anyone because that was very traumatizing.
Please always have someone with you kung uuwi ka ng late. The only thing that I can do is to remind people to always stay safe, for now.

So my life. Life hit its first bump at five. Dad got locked up. Got 3 to 15. Didn’t understand but I knew I wasn’t gonna get to see my hero. That triggered a chain reaction. At 7 I started lying and stealing. At 12 started smoking and doing other drugs. Dad got out by this time and I was sneaking out to him but mom was keeping me from him. Then be next bump hits. I get locked up. Not going to say why cuz I’m not going to lie to you. But I was locked up for 14 months. First little bit I thought I was hard but found out I wasn’t. Got my ass beat everyday. And from the streets I learned not to snitch but here if you do you get stabbed. So I took it. I knew how to take a punch and I’ve been in fight but not like this. I was always in punished there, always was doin shit to get in trouble. But I got my act straight and learned to fight better. One day they came up in the kitchen part while we were cleaning and I hit it the guy with a pan over the head. Still got my ass beat but didn’t happed again except a few fights. I gained respect. But I knew my place. I bettered myself. Read a lot. Got really good at chess. My body best ever. But I also found peace for the first time ever. I wasn’t always depressed but I never was particularly happy. But I found it. I had a routine, knew my place, some of the guards there I deemed family, and some of the other kids. This is four months in. The days felt like weeks but the weeks felt like days, if that makes sense. I got a job there folding the clothes and shit. We washed everything at the jail. But with that job I got radio headphones. First time I fell in love with music. I escaped with it. To listen I became amazing with my job. I handed out clothes before showers and I knew everyone’s size and it folded perfectly, I had a little more security in life. It felt good. Don’t get me wrong freedom is better but the the first time I was happy. Here’s the next bump. I have a neck pain I find. This is month 5. I wouldn’t find out this set me back for a year. Everyone was telling me it was a basketball injury but I knew it wasn’t. Find out I haven’t ha my final court date cuz they didn’t know what to do with me. My mom wouldn’t take me but wouldn’t let my dad take me. They finally put me in a low secure program.this is 6 months and 12 days in This is good and bad news. It was definitely a lot more freedom. I had a pillow. That was new. I had my own cloths. All to small cuz I grew a lot in 6 months. But they were mine. The doors were unlocked. There were couches. Uncomfortable af couches but they were couches. Still had to ask to get up, ask another human being to go to the bath room. That’s humiliating. But it was a upgrade. I have mris and shit for the neck and was in hella pain but nobody believed me. In the end they wet e going to press charges against my mom for child abandonment so she let my dad have me. Day one was like a acid trip. It was surreal. I had my own room.I could go to the bathroom when I wanted, get food when I wanted, sleep when I want, I had a dog. It was awesome. I still had a lot of pain and couldn’t turn my neck.well one day my dad got me a mri scheduled and I got it. The rushed me into a c coller and put me into a ambulance. We went to the bigger hospital and I was there for 21 days. I was told I have a tumor in my neck. The did a biopsy and turned out I had less then 6 months. That was awesome. I was 14 almost 15 at the time. I got wasted and high every day. Like fuck it. Mom took me back. Imagine that. Only reason I went back was for my siblings. I couldn’t leave them. I hadn’t seen them in two years. That was the hardest part. So I went there 50 50. It turned out the misdiagnosed me. But what I had was super rare. First person in my state to have it. It was a ini1- chardoma. They didn’t the best was to treat it but chemo was the way to go. They just didn’t know what ones were the most effective. I took it tho. And I reacted amazingly. Better then they thought. I had a chance of living now. Basketball was out of the picture now. I had to drop out of high school. But it is what it is. I went through and accepted death. One of my lowest points. High chance I move wrong one day and it on my spinal cord could paralyze me form the neck down and I die. I used to be suicidal and tried to take my own life at one point. I couldn’t care to a extent. I still valued life. I still had time with my siblings. That’s what counts. But I want afraid of it. I’ve been shot at before on multiple occasions. Saw my best friend get shot and killed. I had to decide wether to stop and get shot or keep running so I don’t die but by doing so leaving my friend. I left him. My biggest regret. I would of rather die trying to help him then hold the weight of his death. I put that life behind me. I had a lot of enemies. Couldn’t do to some places without the crew. But that’s the consequences of my actions. But what I’m saying I’ve looked at death in the eyes. Now it’s sitting next to me flirting. Almost fell for it tbh. But like I said I had people. I lived. I got surgery. Post surgery was the lowest point in my life. Not only couldn’t I go to the bathroom whenever I had to have people helps me. I lost all my rights again it felt like. I told myself I’ll die before I get locked up again. I was happy was so depressed there. But anyway. I lost basketball and I lost cross country. Recovery was hard. But I’m here now. 16 years old making hella money. I think it all worked out for me. Still have some minor bumps it nothing I can’t handle.

I know I heard comments around me, like, ‘Hey, his arm is better in person than I thought,’ [from] coaches that had only seen tape. At 21 years old, if I walked into a restaurant, sat around with a bunch of 40, 50-year-old men, it’d be a little intimidating. When he talked about his preparation, when he talked about how he studies, how he sees the game, he’s at a different level. I try to let the meetings, the interviews, the film, and what I did today speak for itself. Patterson, 23, made 30-of-35 (85. 7 percent) field goals while making 36 of 37 extra points. Register now!This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I think, overall, he managed to do well. “Saw a lot of good things out of him. The goal is maximum eyeballs and, in turn, maximum dollars. He’s already at that NFL level, which is great to see. “Nothing’s too big for him. You know, that’s really all I can control. ”The Panthers were off to Kentucky after Young’s workout to watch Wildcats quarterback Will Levis. “I’ll be grateful for whatever team does take a chance on me. “But for me, I try to focus on what I can show. Instead, he just sat there and asked us questions. . However, it could still face resistance from coaches present at the league meetings and the NFLPA, which has raised concerns about Thursday games in the past. NFL coaches, for one, are not fans of schedule changes, especially during the season. If it works, sources say I have narrowed my future car to three makes — Ferrari, McLaren, or Aston Martin. Telling he chose the Jets. “He was so well-spoken, so well thought-out. In fact, he may have offers at this point from none of them. Like, he can walk into any environment and be in total control. Very in control, very poised. - Alpha AI

Box Score

Team	1H	2H	Total
Gonzaga	33	46	79
UCLA	46	30	76

^{Index Thread for March 23, 2023}

Whether it’s teams like Princeton and Fairleigh Dickinson pulling off upsets or standout performances from players, New Jersey’s imprint has been all over the Division I men’s basketball tournament.. Sports

Man, I do not like watching Uros Plavsic play basketball, that guy is a dirty player and a menace. Duke would win a 7 game series against Tennessee 4-1. I am still happy for coach, and for the boys who are now men, getting ready for their next step, instead of worrying about getting beat up by overzealous 24 year olds.

Box Score

Team	1H	2H	Total
FAU	22	40	62
Tennessee	27	28	55

^{Index Thread for March 23, 2023}

I browse this sub often and learn a little bit every day. Recently I decided to begin my journey and have been tugging for about a week, and I'm following Andre's Method.
There are two recent posts of users reporting severe injury while following Andre's Method (or specifically, while following Andre's Method to the best of their knowledge):
https://old.reddit.com/foreskin_restoration/comments/11ylt69/how_do_i_go_about_this/jd8hljl
https://old.reddit.com/foreskin_restoration/comments/11z4arl/whats_your_daily_schedule_for_tugging/jdazufd
Both users think they tugged too hard and/or too frequently.
If you watch the videos Andre uploaded demonstrating his tugging method, he states he pulls "as hard as he can" more than once during the video as he is tugging.
He is restored, so maybe his tugging strength is not a good indicator of what a beginner should be doing. However, the videos he uploaded of other restorers following his method (one is a CI-1 and other CI-3) appear to be tugging quite hard in my opinion.
Although I can't link directly to these videos, if you want to see Andre's videos and the videos he uploaded of other users following his method, you can get to them by viewing Andre's profile: u/hardacroposthion
I would like to know what you all think is a safe amount of tension to be using when doing MM3 on the scar line (Andre's Method). Also, what do you think about doing the method every other day instead of every day?
Most importantly, what do you think one should be feeling when doing MM3 on the scar line?
Finally, do you have any other tips for avoiding injury?
I also wanted to say that I am not making this post to criticize Andre in any way. I just want to clarify some things for the safety of myself and others. I am very grateful that he has taken the time to explain his method and make videos demonstrating it. This also goes for the two men at CI-1 and CI-3 who let Andre upload their videos to his channel.

Am I rightfully flabbergasted that two CENTERS are predicted to be a top 5 league leader in assists per game? That just sounds so goddamn wild to me as someone who grew up watching 90s basketball.
Going a little further though, am I right in thinking that the lack of any American big men with playmaking skills approaching Jokic or Sabonis (or Giannis for that matter) is a big indicator of an emerging European hegemony in the NBA?
Here are the top 10 in predicted APG for your consideration https://i.imgur.com/nvt9qyU.png
and a non-screenshot link for anyone who wants to browse further
https://apanalytics.shinyapps.io/DARKO//

im not sure if just an excel sheet text list is enough, so I pasted the full list here. It is extremely long so im hoping it isn't a disaster to scroll through. I recommend viewing here for the best experience. I am mainly accepting PayPal FF, Zelle, and even better if you have local cash in Los Angeles. Will consider PayPal GS depending on the deal! Some of these prices may be dated. If there is a price that is dated im happy to chat and negotiate :) Lmk if you have questions!
List: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11tuT9b96VBgryLsTGYdQ3PExAn1b9SXOCEOEgw_qnhA/edit?usp=sharing
Most of the items: https://imgur.com/a/6b7hcPW
PS1
Alundra
160
Ape escape
45
Azure Dreams
130
Board game top shop
40
Breath of fire iv
160
Bubsy 3d
30
Buster bros collection
40
Castlevania Chronicles
190
Chrono cross bl
35
Chocobo racing
100
Clock tower
190
Crash warped gh
20
Dragon Warrior vii
80
Evil zone
50
Final fantasy vii
45
Final fantasy viii
25
Final fantasy anthology
30
Final fantasy origins
20
Front mission 3
75
Gallerians
100
Judge dread
25
Kartia
110
King of fighters 95
40
Legend of dragoon
60
Legend of legaia
80
Legend of mana
60
Marvel comics X-men Vs street fighter
160
Marvel heroes vs street fighter
150
Medievil
50
Mega man 8
25
Mega man legends 2
150
Mega man x4
35
Metal slug x
60
Mortal Kombat 4
40
Namco museum vol 3
15
Oddworld Abe's odyssey
30
Ogre battle
185
Parasite Eve 2
100
Persona no manual
375
Power rangers time force
20
Rayman rush
10
Resident evil 2
60
Resident evil directors cut bl
60
Resident evil directors cut gh
35
Ridge racer gh
10
Rival schools
170
Road rash
25
Road rash 3d
15
Robo pit
30
Saga frontier
45
Saga frontier ii
60
Sheep
15
Silent hill gh
180
Silhouette Mirage
180
Space jam
25
Time crisis
20
Spyro year of the dragon
20
Star ocean second story
60
Street fighter collection
65
Suikoden
100
Suikoden ii
375
Tenchu 2
40
Thousand arms
180
Tomba
170
Tomb raider ii
15
Tomb raider chronicles
25
Torneko last hope
220
Twisted metal 2 gh
25
Vagrant story
100
Vandal hearts
80
Vandal hearts ii
130
Vanguard bandits
260
Wild arms
70
Wild arms 2
75
Wing commander iii
30
Xenogears
170
Yugioh forbidden memories
30
Ps2
.hack infection no manual
15
.hack infection
20
.hack mutation
35
.hack outbreak
70
.hack quarentine
375
Ape escape 2
60
Ape escape 3
70
Arc the lad
15
Bboy no manual
10
Breath of fire dragons quarters
25
Castlevania curse of darkness
70
Crash wrath of cortex
10
Crimson tears
65
Dark cloud
20
Dark cloud 2
35
Devil may cry gh
10
Dino stalker no manual
20
DOA 2
20
Dynasty warriors 3
10
Dynasty warriors 4
10
Final fantasy xii
5
Ghost in the shell stand alone complex
70
Goldeneye rogue agent
10
Grandia ii
35
Grandia iii
50
GTA San adreas
10
GTA Vice city
15
Growlancer generations
90
Gungrave
75
Gungrave overdose
40
Ico
25
Inuyasha secret of cursed mask no manual
30
Jak and daxter precursor
12
James Bond 007 agent under fire
10
Kingdom hearts
15
Kh rechain
15
Klonoa
80
Kuon
900
Legaia 2
40
Manhunt
30
Mark of kri
10
Marvel ultimate alliance
12
Marvel Vs capcom 2
240
Matrix path of neo
25
Maximo Vs army of zin
40
Mega man x collection
12
Metropolsimania
10
Midnight club 2
11
Mister mosquito
100
Mobile light force 2
25
Mobile suit gundam federation Vs zeon
35
Monster rancher 3
40
Mortal Kombat deadly alliance
25
Naruto ultimate ninja 3
15
NFL street
15
Nightshade
70
Obscure
230
Okami
15
Oni
25
Onimusha gh
15
Onimusha 3
20
Onimusha dawn of dreams
65
Phantasy star universe missing manhal
15
Radiata stories
60
Ratchet and clank gh
20
Ratchet and clank up your arsenal
20
Rayman 2
20
Rayman 3
20
Ready 2 rumble
15
Re dead sim (mm I think)
40
Romance of the 3 kingdoms viii
15
Romance of the 3 kingdoms xi
20
Rule of rose
800
Samurai warriors
10
Shadow of rome
25
Silent hill 2
130
Silent hill 3
170
Skygunner mm
80
SMT digital devil saga deluxe box
150
Sly Cooper 2 GH
12
Spongebob Globs of doom
15
Star wars battle front
10
Steambot Chronicles
200
Suikoden III
45
Suikoden IV
50
Suikoden V
185
Suikoden Tactics mm
35
Suikoden Tactics
45
Taito Legends
25
Taito Legends 2
40
Tekken Tag Tournament GH
15
Terminator 3
25
Terminator Darn of Fate
13
Tom Jerry in War of Whiskers
25
TNA Impact
10
Tony Hawks Underground
15
Trapt
60
Urban Chaos Riot Response
45
Urban Reign
50
Vampire Night
40
Whiplash
20
Wils Arms 3
25
Wild Arms 4
65
WWE Here comes the pain
50
Xenosage GH
30
Yugioh Capsule Monster
20
Yugioh Duelist of the Roses
20
Yugioh GX Beginning of Destiny
50
X Files Resist or serve MM
60
PSP
Brave Story
70
Crisis Core
30
Darkstalkers Chronicles Chaos Tower
35
Dissidia 012
25
Dissidia
15
Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce
15
Final Fantasy Tactics pal
15
Final Fantasy Tactics
30
Gungir
70
Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep
20
Legend of heroes Trials in the sky
130
Mega Man Maverick Hunter
25
Mega Man Powered Up
30
Monster Hunter Freedom Unite
25
PaRappa the Rapper
35
Phantasy Star Portable
30
Silent Hill Origins
50
Star Ocean First Departure
30
Star Ocean Second Evolution
50
Tenchu Shadow assassins
40
PS Vita
Borderlands cib
30
COD Black ops CIB
25
Ragnarok Odyssey Ace CIB
45
Tokyo Xanadu CIB
60
psycho pass
25
trials of cold steel
40
asphalt injection
25
walking dead
25
walking dead 2
25
toukiden age of demons
20
assassins creed liberation
15
farming simulator 16
20
project diva x
25
silent hill book of memories
55
shinobido 2
30
danganropa 2
25
toukiden kiwami
25
persona 4 dancing all night long
30
sly thieves
30
danganropa trigger happy havoc
25
COD black ops
20
code realize wintertides
20
ray gigant
60
stranger of sword city
25
lost dimension
55
summon night 6 lost borders
35
superdimension neptune vs sega hard girls
55
uncharted golden abyss
25
Ragnarok Odyssey Ace
20
fate extello
20
project dive f2
20
akiba strip undressed
25
conception ii
25
Turbo
Addams Family CIB
80
Keith Courage CIB
20
Victory Run loose
25
Ninja Spirit Loose
60
Air Zonk Loose
150
Bonks Revenge
50
Sega Dreamcast
Bangai-o
180
Blue Stinger
40
Bomberman Online
80
Cannon Spike
250
ChuChu Rocket
30
D2
170
Dead or Alive 2
30
Deep Fighter
40
Disney 102 dalamation
25
Evil Dead Hail to the king
60
Evolution the world of sacred device
30
Evolution 2 Far off promise
70
F355 Challenge Passione
25
Fatal Fury Mark of the Wolve
100
Fighting Force 2
20
Fur Fighters
50
Giga Wing
190
Gunbird 2
190
Jojos Bizare Adventure
300
King of Fighters Evolution
60
Looney Tunes Space Race
50
Maken X
60
Marvel vs Capcom
100
MDK 2
30
Monaco Grand Prix
15
Ms Pacman Maze Madness
30
Nba 2k
5
NFL 2k2
12
NHL 2k2
25
Project Justice
300
Nightmare Creatures ii
40
Omikron The Nomad Soul
70
Outrigger
80
Phantawy Star online
30
Powerstone
130
Powerstone 2
180
Rayman 2
40
RE Code Veronica
45
Sega Smash Pack Vol1
20
Seventh Cross Evolution
35
Shadow man
35
Shenmue
40
Skies of Arcadia
170
Sonic Adventure
50
Sonic Adventure 2
150
Super Magnetic Neo
55
Super Magnetic Neo New
65
Seaman no big box or mic
50
Street Fighter Alpha 3
70
Spawn
100
Spiderman
80
Tech Romancer
200
Test Drive Le Mans
15
Timestalkers
50
Tokyo Xtreme Racer
30
Virtual on
50
Zombie Revenge
55
Nintendo NES
Guerilla War loose
15
Contra loose
40
Super Mario Bros 2 MM I believe
70
Super Nintendo
Earthworm Jim
35
Final Fantasy II
60
Jurassic Park
15
Starfox
25
Super Punch Out
35
Turtles IV
50
Yoshis ISland
40
Earthbound CIB w scratch sniffs excellent box
3200
Romance IV CIB
120
Secret of Evermore CIB
160
Dirt FX CIB
50
Lord of Darkness CIB
70
Stunt Racer FX CIB
50
Sim City CIB
40
Madden Football CIB
30
N64
Duck Dodgers
120
Namco Museum 64
15
Pokemon Stadium 2
85
Pokemon Stadium
35
Gauntlet Legends
80
007 Goldeneye
40
Banjo Kazooie once nice label one bad label
35 bad 40 good
Harvest Moon 64
90
Mythical Ninja
100
Rocket
90
Pokemon Snap
25
Hybrid Heaven
15
extreme g
15
turok
20
snowboard kids 2 bad label
70
paper boy
20
mario kart
50
command and conquer
15
mario golf
35
bomberman 64
30
duke nukem 64
25
Diddy Kong Racing
30
Battletanx global assault
20
Indy Racing 2000
15
Ocarina of time Good label and okay label
40 bad 50 good
nascar 99
5
nfl blitz
20
Jet force gemini
20
WCW Nitro
10
Killer instinct
40
Star Wars Ep 1 Racer
15
Cruisin World
20bad30good
Rampage
35
NBA Live 99
3
WWF War Zone
10
starfox 64
25 bad 30good
wcw world tour
12
Wrestlemania 2000
20
Shadows of the empire
20
Ridge Racer 64
15
007 world not enough
17
007 world not enough gray
20
MFL QB CLub 99
3
Tony Hawk 1
20
War gods bad label
13
Penny Racers
30
Zelda Majoras Mask Collectors CIB Poor Box
150
Perfect Dark CIB
55
Top Gear Rally NM Box CIB
40
Shadows of the empire NM box CIB
60
Cruisin USA CIB NM Box
70
Mario 64 Missing manual NM Box
120
Turok NM BOX CIB
80
Nintendo 64 controller pak
50
Rampage World Tour CIB Nice box
100
Pokemon stadium CIB nice box all inserts
250
Nintendo Gamecube
Beyond Good and evil
80
Chibi Robo
280
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​
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Gabe and Isabel have nearly enough characters in their tale to warrant a spin-off series, so time to crowd the stage and introduce Gabe’s stunt-friend Trey.
“What’s the point of me again?” Trey needs clarification over basketball. “How did we meet?”
“I heard you speaking English?” Gabe tries. “Oh, I’m trans. That and not knowing you is why I didn’t add you on social media.”
“Whoa! And you want to marry this girl?” Trey remembers his lines. “I mean, you should pause and think about it. Do you really want to be with someone who loves and accepts you?”
“Yes?” Gabe isn’t sure Trey is living up to the fake-friend promise.
“Well I would slow down, and definitely don’t ask for her hand in marriage and reveal the trans thing on the same visit with the parents,” Trey advises. “Every sitcom gives you 30 minutes to chew on a coming-out before the wedding episode, and this show is like a thousand minutes long.”
“Yeah, but the cameras make it a bit safer,” Gabe has a point.
“Did that stop River from lamp-smacking Pedro?” Trey has three points!
Gabe remains resolved so Trey takes his doubt on the road and meets up with Gabe and Isabel at a spot where they usually bro-out doing man things like smashing stuff with their beef-mitts in front of tits. Isabel does her best to believe Gabe has a second-life as a nomadic womanizer without guffawing. Perhaps the fake business and the real surgeries and actual families provide sufficient drama without the need for Trey’s services?
“I’m afraid not,” production has notes. “Normally, yes, but we’ve got a LOT of sad white women this season. Without these two, it’s basically crying and Nicole looking like she wants to return to the sea.”
“Speaking of secretos,” Trey isn’t ready to abandon the spotlight just yet. “How about that trans business? Did you know about this, Isabella?”
“Really?” Isabel won’t last much longer.
“It’s Isabel,” Mateo, Isabel’s friend, manifests like Daniele’s watching.
“Did YOU know about this?” Trey needs to ask this some more. “This culture es muy machismo. Mucho cheesimo. Muy.”
“Muy confuso,” M’Hog agrees.
“Colombia is more progressive than Alabama,” Jeymi has been talking to Kris. “Are any of you even armed right now?”
Gabe gets a bit worried when Isabel mentions her dad being religious, since the bulk of Gabe’s daily hate comes from trolls and people who use religion to justify bigotry. All the same, the whole family prepares to head to Isabel’s parents’ house for a few days, with Miguel taking on the turtle-transport task like someone who wants his reptiles to live. The parents are excited to see them, and report endorsing Gabe as a partner, since he has a good heart and a “special disposition to love Isabel.” After greeting and asking about sleeping arrangements, dad says Gabe will sleep in separate quarters since he’s a guest.
“Oh, I’m not a virgin,” Isabel breaks the news to them gently, hiding Miguel behind her back.
“More secretos!” Trey won’t leave.
They sit down to eat, and ask Gabe how Colombian food measures against American cuisine, and Gabe reports food in Miami is just deep-fried golf balls, and Colombian food has ingredients. Gabe adds that he’s calling Colombia home now, to further his relationship with Isabel. Dad can’t help but smile when Gabe mentions wanting to be with her his whole life, and the grandparents quiz the kids to make sure they’re on board with this plan. Miguel shrugs his support, while daughter says that she’s happy when her mom is happy.
“If God is not in our lives it won’t work out,” dad adds ominously.
“Okay,” Gabe is scared. “By God do you mean like God-God, or like red Starbucks cup God, or just-cover-your-body-and-serve-me God, or…”
Jen’s been trying to leave India since her plane landed, and this time tells Rishi she’s not keen to join the family home.
“Okay,” Rishi says.
“Really?” Jen looks for the fire exits.
As a compromise, Jen allows Rishi more time to tell his family he’ll be booing-up with the weird white lady who talks to them like they’re feral children communicating with claps.
Jen’s creeping up on 30 days in India, and she learned watching Jenny’s 23 seasons that all that’s required to stretch a visa to four months is leaving every 30 days. She rolls into a lawyer’s office with one week to spare and no fucks to give about the cost of airfare, to see how far she needs to go to be far enough from India to avoid offending the country.
“You do not have the google?” the lawyer is understandably stunned this is happening.
“I have two masters’ degrees, and haven’t read since,” Jen explains. Then she tells the lawyer and his paternal supervisor that she’s engaged, and would like to remain in India as God allows.
“Why do they keep trying to drag me into this?” God is exhausted.
The lawyer asks to see her visa, so Jen surrenders her phone.
“When are you getting married?” the lawyer asks, scanning her photos for nudes.
“He hasn’t told his family yet,” Jen TMI’s.
“So never,” the lawyer shrugs. “You’re going to need another tourist visa.”
“BUT!”
“This is your phone, correct?” the lawyer is over it. “Do you see where it says ‘number of entries’? The answer to your riddle lies here.”
“Whaaaaa? I thought ‘single’ was my marital status!”
“This is crazy American behavior,’ the lawyer is a touch too on-the-nose.
“Look, this is my fucking livelihood,” Camera #1 needs the lawyer to know what she’s been through. “Just wait until we leave to laugh like everyone else, and focus on distributing doom!”
Jen insists that nothing worth doing has ever been hard, and a life-changing decision should demand minimal effort.
“It’s like, message received, universe!” Jen cries.
“That wasn’t me,” the Universe chimes in.
“Maybe this is God telling me to stop trying to make this work,” Jen sobs.
“When did you start trying?” God is with the Universe on this one.
Jen’s got to tell Rishi this news in front of the chai-guy, and leaves out the part where this information was readily available to her the entire time. Rishi looks like he just took a kick from Oussama’s donkey, and neither of them are ready to get married in just a month, but they don’t want to break up. Tears happen.
“Would anyone like some more chai?” the chai-guy feels helpless.
Debbie and Oussama leave the airport for Rabat, and Oussama wastes no time sharing what every Arabic man tells their non-Muslim western-would-be-wife on this show, so do I even have to type it? Debbie thinks she’s already sacrificed enough by agreeing to like-button his facebook poetry, and Oussama requests she just learn to be “40% of a Moroccan housewife” — and Moroccan housewives work hard.
“I thought hard work kills the creativity?” Debbie needs to understand there’s two different standards at play here. “I’ve already worked hard my entire life. When do you start?”
Still, Debbie says she’ll warm to the idea if their food is primarily take-out and they agree to get fucked up on wine on the regular. Oussama notes that this is fine, they just can’t drink at the house.
“It makes the angels go outside of the home and makes the devil come inside,” Oussama explains how booze works.
“Finally, a fucking invite!” the devil has been waiting for this moment.
“Is that how you got this way?” Debbie starts putting the pieces in place. “Can we slough them off at a brew pub somewhere, or is this an exorcism situation? Do you have an ancient box I can twirl in my hands?”
Debbie colors this whole turn bizarre, and so she anticipates walking out the same 100% Debbie she was when she walked in.
“I need a drink just thinking about it,” Debbie laughs.
“No, this will be fine,” Oussama reads from his *PUA Handbook for Muslim Men Marrying Western Women for Lulz.* “My word is final. Old American women have so much dumb.”
“Excuse me! Did he say old?” Jen has an issue here.
“Me not old,” Memphis wants to be included.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so I’m packing, and I’m leaving,” Nicole does her part.
“I don’t know Oussama,” Debbie’s destined for reality tv. “It’s starting to sound like you plan to fuck around and find out.”
They arrive at a gorgeous inn with brilliant decor and architecture, and Debbie marvels at its beauty, before suggesting Oussama might want to be 20% a gentleman and give her back a fucking break and get the bags. God takes revenge on Oussama for suggesting Debbie dilute herself and brains him on his way out of her room.
“He just clotheslined himself bad!” Debbie laughs along with God, who takes full responsibility.
“My neck,” Kris feels it all the way in Colombia.
Debbie puts her stuff away and thinks she’s been left no choice but to remind Oussama of her majesty through jewelry. She makes her grand entrance in a flowing dress, and wants to finalize a few things, since Oussama has already written 40% of her identity out of the story. She asks how long they plan to stay with his parents, and Oussama assures her that she won’t be there long at all, but he’ll probably be there until the planet dies.
“So wait, where am I going to be when the planet dies?”
“Dead,” Oussama hopes this clears things up.
“What if it dies in three months? Where will I be then?”
“Oh, in America,” Oussama thinks she asks a lot of questions, and he swears he explained his policy about cats>humans.
“But I’m wearing a lion’s head,” she directs his attention.
Debbie thinks this information might have been more useful prior to packing, and Oussama says he knew she wouldn’t come then, so as you can see, this deception is fine. Debbie is gobsmacked, and reports the last time she was there he practically floored it to the courthouse, and now he’s demanding a two-month trial run and a return to Georgia before he weighs his options a second time.
“You sure screwed up Oussama,” Debbie sadly shakes her head. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
With that Debbie takes her leave, and vows to get in a quick camel ride and replenish her bead collection before returning to the House of Wonders that has managed to remain enchanted without her.
The Four Day Torment of Kris is ready for Chapter Exhausted, and the box of pills and magic shot have narcolepsied Kris into a denim-coma, granting Jeymi a chance to escape this tit-pillow prison. She asks Kris if she still wants to take photos on the backs of horses wearing cowboy hats, or if it’s cool for her to change out of this outfit, and Kris says Jeymi should go it alone while she face-plants and listens to “Ring of Fire” on repeat. With that, Jeymi scurries off to meet with friends Alex and Leo.
“HELP ME!” She screams as she runs into the restaurant.
“DID SHE FOLLOW YOU?” Alex and Leo need to know this first.
Jeymi says that somewhere Kris’ car-accident total rose to four, one for each day she’s spent in Colombia, and one of these accidents resulted in a neck injury so confusing that it somehow feels better smashed sideways into a moosh pillow.
“Kris also said it would be better if you didn’t meet her before we’re already married,” Jeymi frowns.
“Has she been in jail?” Alex has a wager he’s looking to settle. “Is she there now?”
“Does she think everything south of Texas is Mexico?” Leo has a bet of his own. “Is Tucker Carlson her president?”
They tell Jeymi this is why their original advice was to leave her at the airport, and she interjects that Kris is going back there soon enough anyway.
“Because she’s going to jail?” Alex isn’t letting his theory dissolve, but is willing to wait.
Nicole waffles around the house in search of a storyline other than clothing, and settles on slow-motion ironing, which is still clothing, and another reason to be late to Mahmoud’s uncle’s house. Uncle owns a garment factory, and Mahmoud and Nicole think they can turn her designs into a family business, once they’re married to other people. For reasons known only to Mahmoud, he believes this sojourn to the next House of Judgment will relax Nicole.
“I feel that once she sees my aunt completely covered with only her eyes exposed, she’ll understand how respectful this is,” Mahmoud says things.
Nicole’s welcomed into the house, and they share her sketches with the family, while Nicole describes a strange, isolated hamlet of America where women are restricted to short sleeves and skirts with nary a pant to be found.
“What?” Every clothing shop from LA to NYC has questions.
Uncle Fashion reports that Nicole’s designs are a good start, but they’re not quite a burqa yet, and he’s wondering when Mahmoud is going to brainwash Nicole into thinking a similar outfit is her own idea. Nicole thinks this is a very personal question, and thought she made it clear she’s there for a business opportunity. Uncle says if she hadn’t converted and somehow fallen into the strictest circle of religious Egypt this wouldn’t be a thing. Mahmoud tells them that Nicole doesn’t understand the purpose of the hijab, or any facet of the religion beyond the single sentence she willingly recited prior to nuptials, but he’s made a point to repeatedly bring it up while speaking of nothing else. Uncle retorts that the clothing is not the most important part, the praying is, and Nicole says that Mahmoud still has to teach her this.
“I’m having a crisis of faith,” Nicole describes losing something she never had. “I still need to iron it and find the shoes to match.”
“Trust me, praying is more important than the clothes,” Uncle insists.
“Not to Mahmoud!” Nicole objects.
“There are books that could answer a lot of these questions…” God tries.
“I was not told there would be reading!” Nicole objects again.
“Right?!” Jen’s on board.
STILL TO COME THIS SEASON: Kris and Jeymi commit love crimes in front of astonished witnesses, Jen travels through time towards her actual age, Nicole dresses like a lady-sperm on an important ovarian quest, Gabe shares his secrets with Isabel’s family, Daniele goes snorkeling for new complaints, and Yohan finds an excuse to reference the baby-arm in his pants.
Thank you, Patreon supporters, and Venmo tipper!

Gabe and Isabel have nearly enough characters in their tale to warrant a spin-off series, so time to crowd the stage and introduce Gabe’s stunt-friend Trey.
“What’s the point of me again?” Trey needs clarification over basketball. “How did we meet?”
“I heard you speaking English?” Gabe tries. “Oh, I’m trans. That and not knowing you is why I didn’t add you on social media.”
“Whoa! And you want to marry this girl?” Trey remembers his lines. “I mean, you should pause and think about it. Do you really want to be with someone who loves and accepts you?”
“Yes?” Gabe isn’t sure Trey is living up to the fake-friend promise.
“Well I would slow down, and definitely don’t ask for her hand in marriage and reveal the trans thing on the same visit with the parents,” Trey advises. “Every sitcom gives you 30 minutes to chew on a coming-out before the wedding episode, and this show is like a thousand minutes long.”
“Yeah, but the cameras make it a bit safer,” Gabe has a point.
“Did that stop River from lamp-smacking Pedro?” Trey has three points!
Gabe remains resolved so Trey takes his doubt on the road and meets up with Gabe and Isabel at a spot where they usually bro-out doing man things like smashing stuff with their beef-mitts in front of tits. Isabel does her best to believe Gabe has a second-life as a nomadic womanizer without guffawing. Perhaps the fake business and the real surgeries and actual families provide sufficient drama without the need for Trey’s services?
“I’m afraid not,” production has notes. “Normally, yes, but we’ve got a LOT of sad white women this season. Without these two, it’s basically crying and Nicole looking like she wants to return to the sea.”
“Speaking of secretos,” Trey isn’t ready to abandon the spotlight just yet. “How about that trans business? Did you know about this, Isabella?”
“Really?” Isabel won’t last much longer.
“It’s Isabel,” Mateo, Isabel’s friend, manifests like Daniele’s watching.
“Did YOU know about this?” Trey needs to ask this some more. “This culture es muy machismo. Mucho cheesimo. Muy.”
“Muy confuso,” M’Hog agrees.
“Colombia is more progressive than Alabama,” Jeymi has been talking to Kris. “Are any of you even armed right now?”
Gabe gets a bit worried when Isabel mentions her dad being religious, since the bulk of Gabe’s daily hate comes from trolls and people who use religion to justify bigotry. All the same, the whole family prepares to head to Isabel’s parents’ house for a few days, with Miguel taking on the turtle-transport task like someone who wants his reptiles to live. The parents are excited to see them, and report endorsing Gabe as a partner, since he has a good heart and a “special disposition to love Isabel.” After greeting and asking about sleeping arrangements, dad says Gabe will sleep in separate quarters since he’s a guest.
“Oh, I’m not a virgin,” Isabel breaks the news to them gently, hiding Miguel behind her back.
“More secretos!” Trey won’t leave.
They sit down to eat, and ask Gabe how Colombian food measures against American cuisine, and Gabe reports food in Miami is just deep-fried golf balls, and Colombian food has ingredients. Gabe adds that he’s calling Colombia home now, to further his relationship with Isabel. Dad can’t help but smile when Gabe mentions wanting to be with her his whole life, and the grandparents quiz the kids to make sure they’re on board with this plan. Miguel shrugs his support, while daughter says that she’s happy when her mom is happy.
“If God is not in our lives it won’t work out,” dad adds ominously.
“Okay,” Gabe is scared. “By God do you mean like God-God, or like red Starbucks cup God, or just-cover-your-body-and-serve-me God, or…”
Jen’s been trying to leave India since her plane landed, and this time tells Rishi she’s not keen to join the family home.
“Okay,” Rishi says.
“Really?” Jen looks for the fire exits.
As a compromise, Jen allows Rishi more time to tell his family he’ll be booing-up with the weird white lady who talks to them like they’re feral children communicating with claps.
Jen’s creeping up on 30 days in India, and she learned watching Jenny’s 23 seasons that all that’s required to stretch a visa to four months is leaving every 30 days. She rolls into a lawyer’s office with one week to spare and no fucks to give about the cost of airfare, to see how far she needs to go to be far enough from India to avoid offending the country.
“You do not have the google?” the lawyer is understandably stunned this is happening.
“I have two masters’ degrees, and haven’t read since,” Jen explains. Then she tells the lawyer and his paternal supervisor that she’s engaged, and would like to remain in India as God allows.
“Why do they keep trying to drag me into this?” God is exhausted.
The lawyer asks to see her visa, so Jen surrenders her phone.
“When are you getting married?” the lawyer asks, scanning her photos for nudes.
“He hasn’t told his family yet,” Jen TMI’s.
“So never,” the lawyer shrugs. “You’re going to need another tourist visa.”
“BUT!”
“This is your phone, correct?” the lawyer is over it. “Do you see where it says ‘number of entries’? The answer to your riddle lies here.”
“Whaaaaa? I thought ‘single’ was my marital status!”
“This is crazy American behavior,’ the lawyer is a touch too on-the-nose.
“Look, this is my fucking livelihood,” Camera #1 needs the lawyer to know what she’s been through. “Just wait until we leave to laugh like everyone else, and focus on distributing doom!”
Jen insists that nothing worth doing has ever been hard, and a life-changing decision should demand minimal effort.
“It’s like, message received, universe!” Jen cries.
“That wasn’t me,” the Universe chimes in.
“Maybe this is God telling me to stop trying to make this work,” Jen sobs.
“When did you start trying?” God is with the Universe on this one.
Jen’s got to tell Rishi this news in front of the chai-guy, and leaves out the part where this information was readily available to her the entire time. Rishi looks like he just took a kick from Oussama’s donkey, and neither of them are ready to get married in just a month, but they don’t want to break up. Tears happen.
“Would anyone like some more chai?” the chai-guy feels helpless.
Debbie and Oussama leave the airport for Rabat, and Oussama wastes no time sharing what every Arabic man tells their non-Muslim western-would-be-wife on this show, so do I even have to type it? Debbie thinks she’s already sacrificed enough by agreeing to like-button his facebook poetry, and Oussama requests she just learn to be “40% of a Moroccan housewife” — and Moroccan housewives work hard.
“I thought hard work kills the creativity?” Debbie needs to understand there’s two different standards at play here. “I’ve already worked hard my entire life. When do you start?”
Still, Debbie says she’ll warm to the idea if their food is primarily take-out and they agree to get fucked up on wine on the regular. Oussama notes that this is fine, they just can’t drink at the house.
“It makes the angels go outside of the home and makes the devil come inside,” Oussama explains how booze works.
“Finally, a fucking invite!” the devil has been waiting for this moment.
“Is that how you got this way?” Debbie starts putting the pieces in place. “Can we slough them off at a brew pub somewhere, or is this an exorcism situation? Do you have an ancient box I can twirl in my hands?”
Debbie colors this whole turn bizarre, and so she anticipates walking out the same 100% Debbie she was when she walked in.
“I need a drink just thinking about it,” Debbie laughs.
“No, this will be fine,” Oussama reads from his *PUA Handbook for Muslim Men Marrying Western Women for Lulz.* “My word is final. Old American women have so much dumb.”
“Excuse me! Did he say old?” Jen has an issue here.
“Me not old,” Memphis wants to be included.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so I’m packing, and I’m leaving,” Nicole does her part.
“I don’t know Oussama,” Debbie’s destined for reality tv. “It’s starting to sound like you plan to fuck around and find out.”
They arrive at a gorgeous inn with brilliant decor and architecture, and Debbie marvels at its beauty, before suggesting Oussama might want to be 20% a gentleman and give her back a fucking break and get the bags. God takes revenge on Oussama for suggesting Debbie dilute herself and brains him on his way out of her room.
“He just clotheslined himself bad!” Debbie laughs along with God, who takes full responsibility.
“My neck,” Kris feels it all the way in Colombia.
Debbie puts her stuff away and thinks she’s been left no choice but to remind Oussama of her majesty through jewelry. She makes her grand entrance in a flowing dress, and wants to finalize a few things, since Oussama has already written 40% of her identity out of the story. She asks how long they plan to stay with his parents, and Oussama assures her that she won’t be there long at all, but he’ll probably be there until the planet dies.
“So wait, where am I going to be when the planet dies?”
“Dead,” Oussama hopes this clears things up.
“What if it dies in three months? Where will I be then?”
“Oh, in America,” Oussama thinks she asks a lot of questions, and he swears he explained his policy about cats>humans.
“But I’m wearing a lion’s head,” she directs his attention.
Debbie thinks this information might have been more useful prior to packing, and Oussama says he knew she wouldn’t come then, so as you can see, this deception is fine. Debbie is gobsmacked, and reports the last time she was there he practically floored it to the courthouse, and now he’s demanding a two-month trial run and a return to Georgia before he weighs his options a second time.
“You sure screwed up Oussama,” Debbie sadly shakes her head. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
With that Debbie takes her leave, and vows to get in a quick camel ride and replenish her bead collection before returning to the House of Wonders that has managed to remain enchanted without her.
The Four Day Torment of Kris is ready for Chapter Exhausted, and the box of pills and magic shot have narcolepsied Kris into a denim-coma, granting Jeymi a chance to escape this tit-pillow prison. She asks Kris if she still wants to take photos on the backs of horses wearing cowboy hats, or if it’s cool for her to change out of this outfit, and Kris says Jeymi should go it alone while she face-plants and listens to “Ring of Fire” on repeat. With that, Jeymi scurries off to meet with friends Alex and Leo.
“HELP ME!” She screams as she runs into the restaurant.
“DID SHE FOLLOW YOU?” Alex and Leo need to know this first.
Jeymi says that somewhere Kris’ car-accident total rose to four, one for each day she’s spent in Colombia, and one of these accidents resulted in a neck injury so confusing that it somehow feels better smashed sideways into a moosh pillow.
“Kris also said it would be better if you didn’t meet her before we’re already married,” Jeymi frowns.
“Has she been in jail?” Alex has a wager he’s looking to settle. “Is she there now?”
“Does she think everything south of Texas is Mexico?” Leo has a bet of his own. “Is Tucker Carlson her president?”
They tell Jeymi this is why their original advice was to leave her at the airport, and she interjects that Kris is going back there soon enough anyway.
“Because she’s going to jail?” Alex isn’t letting his theory dissolve, but is willing to wait.
Nicole waffles around the house in search of a storyline other than clothing, and settles on slow-motion ironing, which is still clothing, and another reason to be late to Mahmoud’s uncle’s house. Uncle owns a garment factory, and Mahmoud and Nicole think they can turn her designs into a family business, once they’re married to other people. For reasons known only to Mahmoud, he believes this sojourn to the next House of Judgment will relax Nicole.
“I feel that once she sees my aunt completely covered with only her eyes exposed, she’ll understand how respectful this is,” Mahmoud says things.
Nicole’s welcomed into the house, and they share her sketches with the family, while Nicole describes a strange, isolated hamlet of America where women are restricted to short sleeves and skirts with nary a pant to be found.
“What?” Every clothing shop from LA to NYC has questions.
Uncle Fashion reports that Nicole’s designs are a good start, but they’re not quite a burqa yet, and he’s wondering when Mahmoud is going to brainwash Nicole into thinking a similar outfit is her own idea. Nicole thinks this is a very personal question, and thought she made it clear she’s there for a business opportunity. Uncle says if she hadn’t converted and somehow fallen into the strictest circle of religious Egypt this wouldn’t be a thing. Mahmoud tells them that Nicole doesn’t understand the purpose of the hijab, or any facet of the religion beyond the single sentence she willingly recited prior to nuptials, but he’s made a point to repeatedly bring it up while speaking of nothing else. Uncle retorts that the clothing is not the most important part, the praying is, and Nicole says that Mahmoud still has to teach her this.
“I’m having a crisis of faith,” Nicole describes losing something she never had. “I still need to iron it and find the shoes to match.”
“Trust me, praying is more important than the clothes,” Uncle insists.
“Not to Mahmoud!” Nicole objects.
“There are books that could answer a lot of these questions…” God tries.
“I was not told there would be reading!” Nicole objects again.
“Right?!” Jen’s on board.
STILL TO COME THIS SEASON: Kris and Jeymi commit love crimes in front of astonished witnesses, Jen travels through time towards her actual age, Nicole dresses like a lady-sperm on an important ovarian quest, Gabe shares his secrets with Isabel’s family, Daniele goes snorkeling for new complaints, and Yohan finds an excuse to reference the baby-arm in his pants.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!

Gabe and Isabel have nearly enough characters in their tale to warrant a spin-off series, so time to crowd the stage and introduce Gabe’s stunt-friend Trey.
“What’s the point of me again?” Trey needs clarification over basketball. “How did we meet?”
“I heard you speaking English?” Gabe tries. “Oh, I’m trans. That and not knowing you is why I didn’t add you on social media.”
“Whoa! And you want to marry this girl?” Trey remembers his lines. “I mean, you should pause and think about it. Do you really want to be with someone who loves and accepts you?”
“Yes?” Gabe isn’t sure Trey is living up to the fake-friend promise.
“Well I would slow down, and definitely don’t ask for her hand in marriage and reveal the trans thing on the same visit with the parents,” Trey advises. “Every sitcom gives you 30 minutes to chew on a coming-out before the wedding episode, and this show is like a thousand minutes long.”
“Yeah, but the cameras make it a bit safer,” Gabe has a point.
“Did that stop River from lamp-smacking Pedro?” Trey has three points!
Gabe remains resolved so Trey takes his doubt on the road and meets up with Gabe and Isabel at a spot where they usually bro-out doing man things like smashing stuff with their beef-mitts in front of tits. Isabel does her best to believe Gabe has a second-life as a nomadic womanizer without guffawing. Perhaps the fake business and the real surgeries and actual families provide sufficient drama without the need for Trey’s services?
“I’m afraid not,” production has notes. “Normally, yes, but we’ve got a LOT of sad white women this season. Without these two, it’s basically crying and Nicole looking like she wants to return to the sea.”
“Speaking of secretos,” Trey isn’t ready to abandon the spotlight just yet. “How about that trans business? Did you know about this, Isabella?”
“Really?” Isabel won’t last much longer.
“It’s Isabel,” Mateo, Isabel’s friend, manifests like Daniele’s watching.
“Did YOU know about this?” Trey needs to ask this some more. “This culture es muy machismo. Mucho cheesimo. Muy.”
“Muy confuso,” M’Hog agrees.
“Colombia is more progressive than Alabama,” Jeymi has been talking to Kris. “Are any of you even armed right now?”
Gabe gets a bit worried when Isabel mentions her dad being religious, since the bulk of Gabe’s daily hate comes from trolls and people who use religion to justify bigotry. All the same, the whole family prepares to head to Isabel’s parents’ house for a few days, with Miguel taking on the turtle-transport task like someone who wants his reptiles to live. The parents are excited to see them, and report endorsing Gabe as a partner, since he has a good heart and a “special disposition to love Isabel.” After greeting and asking about sleeping arrangements, dad says Gabe will sleep in separate quarters since he’s a guest.
“Oh, I’m not a virgin,” Isabel breaks the news to them gently, hiding Miguel behind her back.
“More secretos!” Trey won’t leave.
They sit down to eat, and ask Gabe how Colombian food measures against American cuisine, and Gabe reports food in Miami is just deep-fried golf balls, and Colombian food has ingredients. Gabe adds that he’s calling Colombia home now, to further his relationship with Isabel. Dad can’t help but smile when Gabe mentions wanting to be with her his whole life, and the grandparents quiz the kids to make sure they’re on board with this plan. Miguel shrugs his support, while daughter says that she’s happy when her mom is happy.
“If God is not in our lives it won’t work out,” dad adds ominously.
“Okay,” Gabe is scared. “By God do you mean like God-God, or like red Starbucks cup God, or just-cover-your-body-and-serve-me God, or…”
Jen’s been trying to leave India since her plane landed, and this time tells Rishi she’s not keen to join the family home.
“Okay,” Rishi says.
“Really?” Jen looks for the fire exits.
As a compromise, Jen allows Rishi more time to tell his family he’ll be booing-up with the weird white lady who talks to them like they’re feral children communicating with claps.
Jen’s creeping up on 30 days in India, and she learned watching Jenny’s 23 seasons that all that’s required to stretch a visa to four months is leaving every 30 days. She rolls into a lawyer’s office with one week to spare and no fucks to give about the cost of airfare, to see how far she needs to go to be far enough from India to avoid offending the country.
“You do not have the google?” the lawyer is understandably stunned this is happening.
“I have two masters’ degrees, and haven’t read since,” Jen explains. Then she tells the lawyer and his paternal supervisor that she’s engaged, and would like to remain in India as God allows.
“Why do they keep trying to drag me into this?” God is exhausted.
The lawyer asks to see her visa, so Jen surrenders her phone.
“When are you getting married?” the lawyer asks, scanning her photos for nudes.
“He hasn’t told his family yet,” Jen TMI’s.
“So never,” the lawyer shrugs. “You’re going to need another tourist visa.”
“BUT!”
“This is your phone, correct?” the lawyer is over it. “Do you see where it says ‘number of entries’? The answer to your riddle lies here.”
“Whaaaaa? I thought ‘single’ was my marital status!”
“This is crazy American behavior,’ the lawyer is a touch too on-the-nose.
“Look, this is my fucking livelihood,” Camera #1 needs the lawyer to know what she’s been through. “Just wait until we leave to laugh like everyone else, and focus on distributing doom!”
Jen insists that nothing worth doing has ever been hard, and a life-changing decision should demand minimal effort.
“It’s like, message received, universe!” Jen cries.
“That wasn’t me,” the Universe chimes in.
“Maybe this is God telling me to stop trying to make this work,” Jen sobs.
“When did you start trying?” God is with the Universe on this one.
Jen’s got to tell Rishi this news in front of the chai-guy, and leaves out the part where this information was readily available to her the entire time. Rishi looks like he just took a kick from Oussama’s donkey, and neither of them are ready to get married in just a month, but they don’t want to break up. Tears happen.
“Would anyone like some more chai?” the chai-guy feels helpless.
Debbie and Oussama leave the airport for Rabat, and Oussama wastes no time sharing what every Arabic man tells their non-Muslim western-would-be-wife on this show, so do I even have to type it? Debbie thinks she’s already sacrificed enough by agreeing to like-button his facebook poetry, and Oussama requests she just learn to be “40% of a Moroccan housewife” — and Moroccan housewives work hard.
“I thought hard work kills the creativity?” Debbie needs to understand there’s two different standards at play here. “I’ve already worked hard my entire life. When do you start?”
Still, Debbie says she’ll warm to the idea if their food is primarily take-out and they agree to get fucked up on wine on the regular. Oussama notes that this is fine, they just can’t drink at the house.
“It makes the angels go outside of the home and makes the devil come inside,” Oussama explains how booze works.
“Finally, a fucking invite!” the devil has been waiting for this moment.
“Is that how you got this way?” Debbie starts putting the pieces in place. “Can we slough them off at a brew pub somewhere, or is this an exorcism situation? Do you have an ancient box I can twirl in my hands?”
Debbie colors this whole turn bizarre, and so she anticipates walking out the same 100% Debbie she was when she walked in.
“I need a drink just thinking about it,” Debbie laughs.
“No, this will be fine,” Oussama reads from his *PUA Handbook for Muslim Men Marrying Western Women for Lulz.* “My word is final. Old American women have so much dumb.”
“Excuse me! Did he say old?” Jen has an issue here.
“Me not old,” Memphis wants to be included.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so I’m packing, and I’m leaving,” Nicole does her part.
“I don’t know Oussama,” Debbie’s destined for reality tv. “It’s starting to sound like you plan to fuck around and find out.”
They arrive at a gorgeous inn with brilliant decor and architecture, and Debbie marvels at its beauty, before suggesting Oussama might want to be 20% a gentleman and give her back a fucking break and get the bags. God takes revenge on Oussama for suggesting Debbie dilute herself and brains him on his way out of her room.
“He just clotheslined himself bad!” Debbie laughs along with God, who takes full responsibility.
“My neck,” Kris feels it all the way in Colombia.
Debbie puts her stuff away and thinks she’s been left no choice but to remind Oussama of her majesty through jewelry. She makes her grand entrance in a flowing dress, and wants to finalize a few things, since Oussama has already written 40% of her identity out of the story. She asks how long they plan to stay with his parents, and Oussama assures her that she won’t be there long at all, but he’ll probably be there until the planet dies.
“So wait, where am I going to be when the planet dies?”
“Dead,” Oussama hopes this clears things up.
“What if it dies in three months? Where will I be then?”
“Oh, in America,” Oussama thinks she asks a lot of questions, and he swears he explained his policy about cats>humans.
“But I’m wearing a lion’s head,” she directs his attention.
Debbie thinks this information might have been more useful prior to packing, and Oussama says he knew she wouldn’t come then, so as you can see, this deception is fine. Debbie is gobsmacked, and reports the last time she was there he practically floored it to the courthouse, and now he’s demanding a two-month trial run and a return to Georgia before he weighs his options a second time.
“You sure screwed up Oussama,” Debbie sadly shakes her head. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
With that Debbie takes her leave, and vows to get in a quick camel ride and replenish her bead collection before returning to the House of Wonders that has managed to remain enchanted without her.
The Four Day Torment of Kris is ready for Chapter Exhausted, and the box of pills and magic shot have narcolepsied Kris into a denim-coma, granting Jeymi a chance to escape this tit-pillow prison. She asks Kris if she still wants to take photos on the backs of horses wearing cowboy hats, or if it’s cool for her to change out of this outfit, and Kris says Jeymi should go it alone while she face-plants and listens to “Ring of Fire” on repeat. With that, Jeymi scurries off to meet with friends Alex and Leo.
“HELP ME!” She screams as she runs into the restaurant.
“DID SHE FOLLOW YOU?” Alex and Leo need to know this first.
Jeymi says that somewhere Kris’ car-accident total rose to four, one for each day she’s spent in Colombia, and one of these accidents resulted in a neck injury so confusing that it somehow feels better smashed sideways into a moosh pillow.
“Kris also said it would be better if you didn’t meet her before we’re already married,” Jeymi frowns.
“Has she been in jail?” Alex has a wager he’s looking to settle. “Is she there now?”
“Does she think everything south of Texas is Mexico?” Leo has a bet of his own. “Is Tucker Carlson her president?”
They tell Jeymi this is why their original advice was to leave her at the airport, and she interjects that Kris is going back there soon enough anyway.
“Because she’s going to jail?” Alex isn’t letting his theory dissolve, but is willing to wait.
Nicole waffles around the house in search of a storyline other than clothing, and settles on slow-motion ironing, which is still clothing, and another reason to be late to Mahmoud’s uncle’s house. Uncle owns a garment factory, and Mahmoud and Nicole think they can turn her designs into a family business, once they’re married to other people. For reasons known only to Mahmoud, he believes this sojourn to the next House of Judgment will relax Nicole.
“I feel that once she sees my aunt completely covered with only her eyes exposed, she’ll understand how respectful this is,” Mahmoud says things.
Nicole’s welcomed into the house, and they share her sketches with the family, while Nicole describes a strange, isolated hamlet of America where women are restricted to short sleeves and skirts with nary a pant to be found.
“What?” Every clothing shop from LA to NYC has questions.
Uncle Fashion reports that Nicole’s designs are a good start, but they’re not quite a burqa yet, and he’s wondering when Mahmoud is going to brainwash Nicole into thinking a similar outfit is her own idea. Nicole thinks this is a very personal question, and thought she made it clear she’s there for a business opportunity. Uncle says if she hadn’t converted and somehow fallen into the strictest circle of religious Egypt this wouldn’t be a thing. Mahmoud tells them that Nicole doesn’t understand the purpose of the hijab, or any facet of the religion beyond the single sentence she willingly recited prior to nuptials, but he’s made a point to repeatedly bring it up while speaking of nothing else. Uncle retorts that the clothing is not the most important part, the praying is, and Nicole says that Mahmoud still has to teach her this.
“I’m having a crisis of faith,” Nicole describes losing something she never had. “I still need to iron it and find the shoes to match.”
“Trust me, praying is more important than the clothes,” Uncle insists.
“Not to Mahmoud!” Nicole objects.
“There are books that could answer a lot of these questions…” God tries.
“I was not told there would be reading!” Nicole objects again.
“Right?!” Jen’s on board.
STILL TO COME THIS SEASON: Kris and Jeymi commit love crimes in front of astonished witnesses, Jen travels through time towards her actual age, Nicole dresses like a lady-sperm on an important ovarian quest, Gabe shares his secrets with Isabel’s family, Daniele goes snorkeling for new complaints, and Yohan finds an excuse to reference the baby-arm in his pants.
Thank you, Patreon supporters, and generous Venmo tipper! patreon.com/fractalfay