Hello everyone. I am a 21 year old girl who is currently realizing something about myself and I don't know how to make sense of it, and would like to know if any of you can relate it to somehow?
So, I had this best friend for 2 years. She was like a sister to me, and I believe that she was the one who taught me what real healthy love (even if platonic) is supposed to be like, as I don't come from a really good family. We had a relationship on the basis of respect, admiration and open communication, which I valued with all my heart. Unfortunately, life happened, and she decided this friendship didn't fit her lifestyle anymore, so she decided to end it. I was extremely hurt for a few weeks, but I still love her a lot and genuinely feel impossible to ever feel bad in relation to her, even if we are done, and I am thankful for the experiences we had, the love we shared, and knowing that I will be able to love more friends and have relationships with people the same way I had with her. And I moved on pretty quickly in the sense of acceptance, as I keep this perspective and really believe it.
On the other hand, I have been exploring the dating scene. And as I carry with me this notion of what healthy love is supposed to feel because I felt it first hand with my friend, who truly accepted me and made me feel seen for what I was, I am still struggling to position myself in relation to men and what I expect. Maybe it's a "I can change him" underlying thing that is going on, some attachment issues, but the thing is that I find myself struggling to let go of situations involving guys who never meant as much as my friend did to me, and who didn't even show me the amount of love and respect she gave me. For example, I have been talking to this guy for almost 2 months now, who I always thought didn't take me that serious and didn't seem to respect me enough, so I don't really like him in the end that much but I still find myself making up excuses to keep contact? Like he could magically change somehow? When deep down I know that is total bullshit and I am just dragging myself along.
My point is: why did I have such an easy time letting go of an extremely deep friendship that opened my world and showed me I deserve to be respected and feel no need to talk to her as I understand I will meet more people who will want to be my friends, but when it comes to guys I become a mess who accepts shitty treatment even though I am aware that what is happening is not okay for me, and I try to hold onto it with my life even though I have met them for so little? What is going on?

I now have a few hundred hours on this game and i have yet to understand this.
Player hunters in DMZ, why ???
​
Yesterday we were farming the Koschei with 2 of my friends, also clocking at a few hundred hours in the game. One of them got level caped 1 week and a half after the cap increase (level 650). Multiple times while spawning and litteraly rushing to the Koschei entrance we met player hunters team.
Among our encounters there was
- No comunication
- No response to comunication
- No mercy whatsoever even after reaching out in written all chat
- Camping bodies for 15~min to wait for the alive teammates to come back (if alive)
​
The most notable one was a sandwich from 2 whole teams on vehicules between 1min30 and 2min after the spawn. No response to communication ("friendly" might have been erased from certain dictionaries idk). Both teams never shot at one another and litteraly blasted us in a 3v6. One of my friend could escape and waited to get our revives. Note that both teams ended up shooting at each other after sharing the loot (wich was almost nothing, i'll get to that later). Luckily picking up a player medal leaves a tracker on the player so we could see their movements and waited for the revive to be safe... 20min... We had to wait for 20 whole god damn minutes for the guys to leave the area. We're talking just north of the police station, that thing's empty. We could get revived and get at the Koshei complexe door with 3min left on the timer. Only to meet another team camping inside the vents of the chemical plant of the complexe and get blasted yet again.
This is the most notable but not an isolated case, multiple times, when you load dmz, you get ganged up by fully geared players with no objective completion and just play pvp in DMZ. And happened since season 1, though this behavior has notably increased lately with season 3 (i have multiple testimonies painting the same picture of the gamemode).
​
So here is my honest question. What do you gain by doing this?
Xp? Killing npc reward the same amount as a pvp kill (even more with headshots, one shot, long range blablabla).
Materials and weapons? These guys are fully stacked and the basic player stuff isn't full insurance weapons (that might be built like garbage btw) so you don't get anything.
Fun? Is it really? I mean ok the sadistic satisfaction of destroying noobies (or veteran players) is a thing. But how can it be that widely spread into the playerbase of this gamemode for it to be a nuisance for the average player most of the time when playing?
​
If you want the huge map with a bunch of players and going full pvp with your team how about Warzone? How about resurgence or massive resurgence? How about plunders? This fits the exact needs of a f2p player who just wants pvp and nothing else. You get your own loadouts, you get to loot the enemies, you get a lot of players to kill and it's fun with a team. Why DMZ of all gamemodes?
And even in DMZ, why Al Mazrah? There's Building 21for the hardcore experience.
​
I don't get it and it ruins the whole experience. Yes this gamemode includes pvp, but it's there for a reason and it's not just to go full speed with a heavy-armored vehicules and 3 meta guns for each players and leaving without completing any objectives. Yes, objectives, that's what pvp is for. When you pick up the hunt squad contract. When 2 tems compete for a single objective (Pyro or Chemist just to name one) then sure that makes sense. And even though you can fight, the game lets you invite players to make a squad up to 6 players !
​
With all the rewards cooperation can wield, entire squads (and multiple ones at once in a lobby) decide to throw everything by the window and shoot the guns in an inapropriate gamemode.
Mock me if you will, but players are really pissed by the state of DMZ right now. Any f2p player who wants to try the game is instantly diiscouraged by player hunters, and there's too many of them. That's harmful to the game itself.

I really need to vent and get this off my chest cause it's a lot and mind you, I am aware of my shortcomings and have been seeking professional help. I understand this is not in any way ok or normal and I respect anyone who thinks I am disgusting or I exhibit inhumane characteristics, because personally, I think so too.
I was dating someone for the past 3.5 years. We started Dec 2019 and ended March 2023. From 2013 - 2019, I've idolized the idea of having a girl and sex. I am 23, so I was only 13 at that time. During this time, I really wanted a girlfriend and I was very lonely. I was never bullied or picked on at school, but I never hung out with the more popular group either. But in 2019 everything changed when a girl messaged me wanting to pursue me so I LEAPED at the chance. This was the problem. I sped through the initial "getting to know each other" phase and went STRAIGHT for "I want you to be my girlfriend" within maybe 2-3 days of talking. At this point, I haven't even met her yet. Mind you, this girl isn't 100% a girl I would normally go for in terms of physicality / looks. I initially didn't really find her attractive but I assumed it would grow on me over time... This right here, is the reason I never ended up truly loving her to the degree I wanted to. I am quite superficial and attractiveness plays a big role. Sex has never been an issue in our relationship but I think I was just absolutely mesmerized by her body cause she was thick and we are into the exact same types of kinks and fetishes so the sex was absolutely amazing and she has incredible tits which always turned me on. But that was about it...
A few months go by and our "honeymoon" phase was extremely short-lived and we entered the conflict phase extremely fast. By this time we were a couple of months into the relationship. I noticed I was still pursuing other girls even though she was my girlfriend. I started to give less and less into the relationship while she was giving me 120% everyday. She's an absolute gem but unfortunately my love for her just wasn't fully there. 1.5 years go by and I decide I want to take a break and use this time to figure out what I want and most likely break up with her. I told her I will be back soon, but during this time, I had sex with a girl I really, really liked. I didn't tell my girlfriend at that time. Everyday I would question "Do I really like this girl or just the idea of having a best friend and a significant other?" It was the latter, but I was too scared to tell her the truth. So I pumped through another year and things got worse and worse. I cheated on her multiple times during our relationship, but I didn't have the heart to tell her until we broke up and I confessed everything. 3 years into the relationship I confessed I cheated, and she was numb to everything at this point. Then she snapped after a few more months and we broke up because she could no longer bear the pain and suffering.
I destroyed her. Her confidence, self-esteem, happiness, everything. I feel like an absolute monster and I feel lower than pond scum. I am confused why I did this. I tried to force myself into thinking I could look past the problems and continue and get married, but had we gotten married, it would 100% ended up in a divorce and just a terrible marriage. So I'm glad we broke up, I personally have healed and I don't really feel sad I lost her, I just feel absolutely devastated at the fact that I hurt such a pure, amazing girl. She has never EVER done me wrong, was always truthful, considered my opinions and valued them and the list goes on and on. And I go do this? Am I a monster? I'm currently getting professional help because this is not right and this might be worse than I thought. I don't know what to think or feel. I am so numb and senseless and I keep thinking about this and it's eating away at me. Why did I get over her in 1 week? I cried for a few days then moved on. But she said she needs at least 1 year to process everything and then she will only consider dating someone else again. I ruined her. She wanted us to work out SO badly but my "love" only came in phases when I needed someone... I used her... I used an incredible girl for my own pleasure and support and never reciprocated it.
What is wrong with me?

Hi.
I build two applications, one for the main website and one for the dashboard, i built the both in angular. And there is a backend for both build on dot .net core, I need a hosting service, that's cheap and also has a good service, what do you suggest?
I tried smarter .asp but actually it doesn't accept my card.

There is some violence in this one. Struggle snuggles are briefly mentioned, but nothing descriptive. There is nothing bad enough to warrant a NSFW tag.
The Nature of Predators is made by u/SpacePaladin15
Previous/ First/
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Memory transcription subject: Varce, Cattle Farm Δ12
Date [standardized human time]: January 1, 2137
Delicious, succulent piles of meat laid before me. Fresh yellow blood still dripped from fatty livers. Chitin appendages were begging me to crunch into them. Stacks of scrumptious eggs oozed with slime, undoubtedly laid last night. I could barely contain myself as we all sat down to begin our morning breakfast.
Tarth, being the greedy Arxur that he is, started begging. “So. Your sharing, right? I mean, you do have three days worth of food in front of you.”
I gave him a curt “No” as I began digging into my mountain of food. Al and Kyra snickered at the abrupt rejection. The tender liver broke down into small fragments as my teeth sunk through it. My starved brain exploded with endorphins as the rich, flavorful food slid down my throat. Every drop of tangy blood felt like absolute bliss, seasoned by near crippling hunger. I was so enraptured by the delights before me, I barely even noticed Al watching me with a stupid grin.
I looked him over. “What?”
He broke out snickering. “Sorry. I can’t help it. I don’t quite have a word for it, but it’s nice to watch you enjoy yourself so much.”
Eh. Weird human stuff. I continued to feast on a crunchy appendage when my human callously stole an egg from one of my plates.
I snapped at him. “Hey! Put that back. You’ve got your own eggs.”
He continued to smile like an idiot. “Open your mouth.”
I humored him, albeit somewhat annoyed. Once my mouth was agape, he tossed the egg he was holding onto my tongue. My jaws slammed shut with a pop.
Al excitedly did a little cheer. “Aw. That was awesome.”
Tarth tried to get in on the action. “Do me now.”
Before I could say anything, Al responded. “No. You’re not getting any of Varce’s food.”
Tarth replied with an overly dramatic head turn. “I see how it is.”
--------------------------------
My division sat around the “kitchen” after a long morning of work. All of our equipment had been cleaned and stowed for the time being. Al’s injury brought his productivity to a crawl despite his best efforts. He couldn’t cut, carry, or clean with just one arm so he mostly just acted as moral support. He answered any human questions that were in my inbox, but it had been almost a month since the guide was put out. Barely anyone had any interest in humans at this point.
I sat with my back against the wall while casually scrolling through my news feed. My human was sitting to my left with his head propped against my ribs. He was focused on my screen as I had various images slide by. We were looking for any updates on the situation with the UN armed forces.
Apparently, a few thousand humans were being reported to be under federation custody. A planet with a human shipyard was captured by prey. I’d hazard a guess that not many of those humans are still alive, though I wouldn’t say such a thing with Al around. While he has made it thoroughly clear that he is team Arxur, he still cares for the well being of his own species.
Al let out a slow exaggerated sigh as he slumped further into me. “Hey Varce. Do you think humans are going to survive?”
I considered lying, but decided against it. “Probably not. You did say some ark ships got sent out though. So there’s that.”
“I’m probably going to be the last living human in this part of the galaxy here pretty soon.” He strummed his fingers against my knee. “It’s… A really weird feeling.”
I took one of my hands away from my holopad and ran it through his blonde hair. I looked at his blue eyes for a moment before returning to the holopad.
“For what it’s worth. You’ll always be welcome to stay with me.” A small condolence, but it was what came naturally.
“Thanks”
After about a half-hour, a live broadcast forced itself onto everyone’s holopad, including mine. The image displayed 23 restrained Arxur on their knees with armed guards standing behind them. Chief Hunter Shaza entered the screen and stood at a podium.
She looked over them before speaking. “Today I will pass judgment and punishment onto these Arxur before me. Due to their negligence and incompetence, a total of 508 captive humans have died with an unknown amount of humans dying while being captured. In addition to this, 35 loyal Arxur have died along with an additional 112 being wounded.”
Al and I looked to each other in concern. That was upwards of a quarter of the humans that we had captured in total. What the hell happened?
Shaza continued. “First, you three that were in charge of testing and approval of the tranquilizers used on humans. You falsified data and gave approval to a tranquilizer that has led to deaths in almost every cattlefarm. These tranquilizers were used by human capture parties and resulted in an unknown number of human fatalities that could have been used for trading. Your sentence is death.”
She pulled a ceremonial sword from out of the podium and walked behind the three. She took a swing at the first ones neck and cleanly passed through. However, she over swung and got the tip lodged into the skull of the second one. The second one violently spasmed and screamed as he tried to get away. He fell to the floor when Shaza jammed the blade further into his brain. She extracted the sword and cut down the third with no issue. She walked back to the podium, sat down her sword, and continued with her judgment.
“Vice Admiral and Human Welfare Officer of Cattlefarm Δ9. You disregarded any recommendations about human nutrition and fed them raw herbivore food. Then, when it was discovered that the herbivore food is toxic to humans. You continued to feed them herbivore food and ate the water bug meat that was sent to you. All 225 humans under you care have died due to the toxicity of the herbivore food. Your punishment is death.”
Shaza walked to the two with sword in hand. She carefully swung at each of their necks, being sure to not over-swing again. She walked back to her podium and readied herself to speak again.
Al spoke up while his eyes were locked on the holopad. “She’s nervous. I mean, she was a little nervous before that fuck up. Now she’s even more nervous. I think it’s a safe bet that Prophet Descendant is watching this.”
Shaza scowled this time. “Vice Admiral, Master-at-arms, and Human Welfare officer of Cattlefarm Δ2. You three disregarded all security recommendations and placed all 241 of your humans in a single cage. They crafted weapons known as shanks and killed guards. They then claimed the guard’s firearms and ultimately immolated themselves in the facility. This resulted in the deaths of 35 Arxur, severe injury of 112 Arxur, and the loss of an estimated 800,000 pounds of food and breeding stock. Your punishment is death.”
With sword in hand, she walked behind them. She held the tip of the weapon with her off hand and drove it through. The metal stuck out of the first one’s upper abdomen. His liver was most certainly cut open. She violently yanked out the blade and repeated the process two more times. She left them to bleed out and returned to the podium.
Words could not describe to sheer anger on her face as she addressed the last 15 Arxur. “You disgusting degenerates of Cattlefarm Δ6. A total of 34 human females committed suicide while under your custody. If we find more evidence, I promise more will be executed by my hand. 34 human females are dead because you forcibly mated with them. You destroyed all video evidence, so you knew exactly what you were all doing. Your punishment is death.”
She walked away from the podium without her sword this time. She strolled past the line of corpses and looked over the first Arxur. Shaza turned to the closest guard and took the rifle from their grasp. She placed the muzzle of the weapon into the lower center of the creep’s back. She pulled the trigger with a splatter of blood. She destroy his spine and ruptured his intestines. He wouldn’t be going anywhere while he had his slow death. Shaza repeated this over and over until all 15 of them were crumpled on the ground slowly dying. She returned the rifle to the guard and took her position on the podium.
She stared into the camera. “This fleet functions because I have confidence in those that operate below me. When there are errors, I expect those to be reported to me. The people here lied and hid things from me. Those that reported incidents to me still have their heads and positions because they did not betray my trust. As Chief Hunter, all of you are my responsibility. All I ask is that you do not violate my trust. Now get back to work.”
With that said, the live stream ended. Everyone in the room was dead silent after witnessing the execution. I wasn’t really certain on how to process what I just witnessed. Especially that last group. What would even bring an Arxur to even consider doing something like that with a human? I wouldn't be surprised if they did that kind of stuff with their prey too. Putrid fucking animals.
Al interrupted my train of thought when he started talking. “Those that self reported didn’t lose their positions? That’s a load of shit. She totally tried to boot you. What a fucking liar.”
My holopad began pinging me with an incoming video call from my vice admiral. I accepted it without hesitation and was presented with an image of vice admiral in his stateroom. He raised an eye ridge before speaking.
“Human Welfare Officer Varce and Hall” Al nodded his head in submission. Oh right, he’s more or less cuddling with me right now. Not a great look. “Did you see the live execution just now?
I replied. “Yes vice admiral. It appears you’re suspicions were correct. Though I wish they weren’t.”
“Over 500 captive humans dead. If you’d like, you can pat yourself on the back.”
The hell is he implying? “I’m sorry sir. I don’t think I follow.”
“We just got a view of what would have happened at all of the cattlefarms had it not been for you and Hall. I just felt it appropriate to congratulate you on all of the humans you effectively saved.”
“Huh… That’s one way to look at it sir.”
The vice admiral gave me a grin. “Don’t sell yourself short. If you hadn’t become my Human Welfare Officer, I might have been in that line up. I’ll have you know that I strongly prefer my head attached to my body. Could you imagine the disaster that would have happened if that idiot had been in charge?”
Al forced himself into the conversation. “Speaking of. How’s the brig treating the spoon smuggler?”
Spoon Smuggler? The shithead? Why the hell does Al know about what happened to that moron when I don’t even know?
Vice admiral continued. “The half rations are thinning the troublemaker down. I’ve yet to find an unfortunate ship to pawn him off onto. I am however, considering the possibility of sending him to work on a waste management ship.”
Al started giggling. “Do it. That sounds hilarious.”
I re-entered the conversation. “I second the waste management idea.”
Vice admiral decided to wrap up our conversation. “As much as I’d like to rejoice over the fact that I’m alive. I have much work to do still. So have a good day Officer Varce. You as well Hall.”
With that said, the call cut out leaving me with my human. Over 500 captive humans dead. Their care was in the hands of the Dominion. And well… We failed them. They suffered abuse and mistreatment at the hands of Arxur. They were treated like cattle. Some even worse… I understand why Arxur go through the struggles that we do. We have more people then meat. It’s simple math… But this is just outright wrong. They were given the supplies they needed. It was just the torture and death of sapients for the sake of it. What is wrong with some of these people. Sure, humans aren’t as impressive as an Arxur physically, but that doesn’t mean they’re some mindless prey. Ouch!
I looked down to my human who was pinching the softer scales around my armpit. “What was that for?”
Al smiled at me. “You were spacing out there. I figured I’d drag you back to reality.”
I sighed a little. Might as well not dwell on the human thing. “How did you know what happened to the ‘spoon smuggler’? I thought he just disappeared.”
Al continued to tug at my loose skin. “The guards told me. Unlike you, I make a point of rubbing elbows with the folks around here. I know all of the gossip and rumors.”
A perk of being born a social predator I suppose. I’d tire of the endless chitchat long before any human would. I wrapped my left arm around the goofy human’s neck and brought him into a loose choke hold of sorts. My other hand grabbed at his hair and pulled at it lightly.
I put on the best sarcasm voice that I could. “Are you suggesting that you are better at social interactions than me? I’ll have you know that I am an Arxur, the apex predator of the universe. I’m perfect at everything all the time. To even suggest otherwise would be peak foolishness. I-”
Al started to poke at my muzzle with his good hand. Naturally, I retaliated by “biting” down on his hand to keep it still.
“Eww. You have no idea where that thing has been. Seriously. I only have one functional arm right now, so what do you think I’ve been using that thing for?”
I promptly spit out the filthy appendage. It was nice to see him enjoying himself. With all the death that’s going on right now, I’d imagine that he’s probably really stressed out.
I released his head. “So. How are you holding up?”
“I’m doing as well as I could hope to.” He softly rammed his head into my ribs. “Thanks.”
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Hi there,
Just sharing my Chiari Surgery experience for anyone who is thinking about getting it done and wanting to hear about people's experiences/recovery.
I (43 f) just had my Chiari Decompression Surgery with duroplasty and C1 laminectomy at Weill Cornell with Dr Stieg in NYC on Wed 5/24 and was discharged home this AM (Sat 5/27). They were actually ready to discharge me on Fri 5/26 even — but because I live so far (5 hrs) from the specialty center, I felt more comfortable staying one more night, which they were fine with.
For background, I was just diagnosed with Chiari I.5 malformation (13 mm cerebellar tonsillar descent, with the obex or bottom of medulla being squished down there even lower) on MRI on 5/5/23. (No syrinx in the spine, though.) I am so glad neurosurgeon got me in so fast. Doctors including my neurologist had been blowing off my increasing symptoms for the past 5 years. (“Oh, it’s probably just migraines — oh, it’s probably just cluster headaches — oh it’s probably just neck strain.”) So frustrating! But once I got the MRI showing the Chiari, I just took the initiative to find a neurosurgeon to consult with. And Dr. Stieg’s team was very good about getting me in quickly. He did a full brain and spine MRI, with and without contrast, and consultation with me within 2 weeks of my reaching out to his team. I could already tell within 1-2 days post surgery that essentially all my major problems had been resolved (though of course there’s a lot of neck stiffness and soreness from the surgery itself, but it’s already so much better just 3 days post-surgery).
I had problems since at least 2018 including: Chiari headaches (excruciating, incapacitating collapsing to the floor moaning with my head in my hands headaches, triggered initially by coughing episodes — but then progressively over time even by just standing up too fast, yelling for the kids, bending or tilting my head wrong, by the end even sitting up or turning over in bed by the end). Also terrible chronic neck ache at the base of the skull (that I thought had been caused/worsened by car accident whiplash, but now I think 100% caused by the Chiari). And increasingly weird neurological symptoms due to the compression of the brain stem, including: trouble swallowing (seemed like I accidentally choke liquid down the wrong tube every single day when I took a drink), excessive drooling, numb/weak hands/clumsy hands, poor balance/coordination (walking into walks, trips/falls going up and down stairs, a few faint episodes), excessive yawning, and hands(not just a little — like shaking violently after every yawn or sneeze).
My surgery was at 7:30 AM. I had to show up at 5:45 so they could get me checked in and everything. The neurosurgeon and anaesthesiologist were very good about explaining what would be happening and answering any questions I had. They took special care talking about my anaesthesia (because in my case a sleep study had shown that the Chiari puts pressure on my brain stem, and has caused me to have central sleep apnea — different from obstructive apnea. It’s the brain signals telling my lungs to breathe don’t always get through at night. So that is part of why I’m always waking up in the middle of the night and still feeling tired in the morning.) So concerns about that were thoroughly discussed and they would use a CPAP mask to help with my breathing if needed. The surgery took about 3 & 1/2 hours. (They told me 2-3, so pretty close). They will put your IV in of course and give you something to relax you and put you to sleep and you won’t remember anything afterward except them telling you the surgery is all done and it’s time to wake up.
I’m not going to lie, there was some pain obviously. But for me, it was manageable —never more than a 6-7, and with the Oxycodone and Tylenol they gave me, got me down to a 3 (on a 10-point pain scale) pretty fast. For the day of the surgery they had me on 10 mg Oxycodone dose immediately afterward, tapering down to 5. I had some nausea the first day after surgery too, which the anesthesia and pain meds can cause, I guess. But they gave me something for it whenever I complained and whatever they gave me worked quickly. The steroids for swelling also tend to cause some side effects -- high blood sugar, which they did finger pricks to check and which were always a little high -- though they didn't end up having to give me any insulin. And heartburn, which they gave me protonix for every morning. And Maalox once, when I complained about it still bothering me
They actually tapered me just the day after surgery down from Oxycodone to just regular Tylenol and muscle relaxant every 8 hours — but would check in with me regularly about pain of course and offer Oxycodone as needed or if it got worse. I did take just ONE more dose of Oxycodone that next night, the day after surgery — I think it’s my own fault for doing a little too much walking and self-directed P/T (trying to turn my neck a bit side to side to loosen the stiffness) that first day. So maybe give it a few days before you do much active attempt to turn/stretch the neck. (Don’t be a hero by trying to taper too soon — the one extra dose of Oxycodone I asked for that night provided me a lot of relief and allowed me a good night of sleep and was feeling much better the next morning and able to taper to Tylenol without a problem.)
But by two days post-surgery, I was doing really well and managing with just 3 Tylenol and 1/2 muscle relaxant every 8 hrs. Steroids too to keep down the swelling every 6 hours. The recovery has really been so good so far from what I had feared. Not so bad at all. They did give me some Oxydone I can have at home if pain flares up again, but I don’t think I’ll need it.
Literally, as soon as I woke up from surgery, my very first sip of juice that I had, I realized I could swallow again without choking. By the day after surgery, the numbness in my hands had mostly abated. (That one I was worried about, because I know sometimes if nerve damage goes on too long it can be permanent so I thought the numbness and hand weakness might not resolve). I could sit/stand/turn over in bed etc without triggering the usual Chiari headaches. Some other symptoms that I didn’t even KNOW were related to my Chiari (a nagging constant earache in my left ear that my GP just always told me there was nothing wrong when she looked in there — miraculously also gone! Must have been due to blocked CSF or something).
I am already so happy I had this surgery done, even though my husband was nervous about it happening so quickly. I’d been suffering for 5 years already, with it impinging a lot on my quality of life, ability to play with or carry my own kids, and neurological symptoms can get worse over time, so as surgeon said — now that you know the diagnosis and likely solution, what are you waiting for?I do realize that everyone’s story is different and I am quite lucky that (so far) everything has gone according to plan, with such rapid and obvious symptom relief for me, incision healing seeming to go so well, etc — so bear in mind everyone’s situation and recovery is different and consult closely with your professionals. This is just my own story. But I had a *very* good experience and would definitely recommend the Chiari surgery to anyone who was suffering the level of symptoms that I was having.
I will second the recommendations others have made about taking stool softeners (and laxatives or suppositories if needed to get things going) in your first few days post-surgery. I am very sensitive to the constipating effects of opiates like Oxycodone (I went 8 days without pooping after my C-Section — by which time it was very tough and painful, as you can imagine). So although they were giving me stool softeners — Senna, and Miralax every day — when I still hadn’t gone for 3 days, I asked for prune juice, and when that didn’t work, and I was still straining and having trouble passing, I requested Milk of Magnesia. It gave me unpleasant stomach cramping for a few hours, but was worth it to me, because it got the job done so I was all cleared out by the time I left the hospital, which was important to me. Given all the warnings they give you about not straining on the toilet because it can increase CSF pressure in the head and potentially cause your dura patch to leak.
I showered for the first time the morning of my discharge (3 days post surgery). My surgeon said ok to shower, but don’t submerge — no pools, hot tubs, etc as that can increase risk of incision infection. No rubbing any lotions or oils back there, though bacitracin or neosporin to put on with sterile gloves/hands is ok if incision is itchy. They removed the bandage 2 days after my surgery and said everything looked beautiful. (I can PM you a picture of the shave line and incision of you want. You can’t even notice the incision or that they shaved any of my hair when my hair is down.
Just a note, following surgery, that first day I found it more comfortable to rest on my side than my back because the neck incision pain hurt too much while on my back. But by 1-2 days after surgery, lying on my back with head elevated was fine. I second the recommendation for buying a wedge pillow in advance of your arrival home. (I didn’t know how helpful that elevating/reclining hospital bed pillow was until it was gone!) Right now I’m stacking pillows, but I think a wedge would have worked better.
They told me no bending, lifting, twisting - don’t carry anything bigger than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. If you drop something and do need to pick it up, bend at the knees. No picking up kids (at least, not if the one who wants picking up is 5 years old and 40 lbs, like my youngest!). Avoid driving for 2-4 weeks if you can, both to avoid needless jostling of head from sudden stops , and strain from having to turn your head too much. Do P/T if recommended.
I did have one slightly scary experience during my very early recovery (harmless, apparently, but freaked me out since I had never experienced it before). I had an episode of “vasovagal syncope,” which involves an automatic bodily reaction where your blood pressure and heart rate suddenly drop precipitously. (It happens to some people when they see needles or blood or get stressed or scared — essentially “fainting.” But never happened to me before). Apparently, it is not uncommon to occur after anaesthesia, brain surgery, etc.
So this was on the very day of surgery. Remember my procedure only started at 7:30 AM on Wednesday. But after dinner the same day, around 6:30 pm, they were already encouraging me to try moving to a sit-up chair for a while — with the idea that if that went well, we’d go on to do a little assisted walking (I guess walking as soon as you can helps with recovery time, reduces risk of blood clots, etc). So I sat up in a chair for about 30 minutes, not even standing, just sitting in a chair. And was fine at first. But then my legs started shaking a lot and I started to feel very nauseated. I asked the nurse to get me something for the nausea, afraid I was going to actually throw up, and while she was gone, started feeling even weirder - like flushing hot and cold sensations, sudden sweating. More shaking. Just feeling weird and terrible. My husband said I turned white as a sheet and my lips as white as the rest of my face. My husband got the nurses who helped me lay flat, and neuro came in a minute later to see me and ask what happened. He said what I described was a classic vasovagal syncope reaction - just put some fluids in my IV and had the bed headrest inverted a little (so my head was slightly tipped back — I didn’t like it, because put a little more strain on my neck, but he said just for 5 minutes or so to get the blood back in my head.)
After 30 minutes lying down with my legs up and my head back, I was pretty much back to normal and feeling better. Just a little scary because I didn’t know what was happening and hadn’t experienced it before. And usually I guess people experience it when standing up and walking, not just sitting in chair, so probably took nurses and dr a little by surprise too. But neuro team said it’s not too uncommon after surgery.
I didn’t do any more sitting that night. But next day after lunch, neuro team told me to go ahead and try again — and I had no more problems. Did plenty of sitting, standing, and walking with my husband. They said, by the way, that during your 6 weeks initial recovery, do as much walking as you want — but nothing more vigorous than that.
I am so happy already about the improvement in my quality of life without those horrible headaches and neck aches and other bizarre symptoms. I wish my doctors and neurologists hadn’t been such dummies and had figured it all out 5 years ago… but better late than never! The 5-hour car ride back home from NYC yesterday was a little rough (Memorial Day weekend traffic didn’t help), but I am glad I went the route of seeking out an expert Brain & Spine Center that really knew what they were doing. 4 days after surgery I am sitting here in bed at home with my cat in my lap (and warning the kids not yo jump on the bed) and feeling so much more optimistic about the future.
Wishing you all the best with your own journeys and recoveries. The first 4 days post-surgery really hasn’t been at ALL as bad as I feared. I was scared because I’ve never had surgery other than C-Section before, but it has bern totally manageable with the pain meds they give you. And neck stiffness by day 3, already SO much better than day 1-2. Hang in there!!!

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Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Hi all,
So I have been keeping every best in slot for each class, i.e.
^{1-MOB-DIS
2-MOB-INT
3-MOB-STR
4-RES-DIS
5-RES-INT
6-RES-STR
7-REC-DIS
8-REC-INT
9-REC-STR}
Just in case things change like when INT was out and RES was in.
But right now I only use RES-DIS (PvE) and REC-DIS (PvP) which leave 84 pieces of armour not actively used. With vault space not being increased but more & more crafted weapons appearing would like to cull some to make room.
There are some pieces I am loath to dismantle e.g. max rolls like 30 RES, 26 STR, 6 DIS (68 total) for Titan, but what are some definite dismantles? Anything with mobility for Warlock?
Cheers.

Also have:
Quasar III goal explosion sets - 1.5k ea
Striker NCE black and white alchemist - 19k/4k or 21k for both
Striker black NCE vortex - 4.5k
109 orange flamethrowers - 23.5k all
Helios sets - 4500 each
Striker black emeralds - 1k ea
Striker black momentum hny inverted - 1k
Hustle brow + mount champ cert sets - 4k each
Striker SB OG humid haze - ?
Striker SSC black wonderment - 18.5k 😮‍💨
Tactician ignition TW ultralex - 1600
Tactician OG TW raijin - 1.5k
Sweeper madness II set - 3k
Scorer FG aether - 1750
Tactician FG and BS fissure boosts - 1k each
Tactician saffron and cobalt Hasher:revolved - 2k for both
TW paragon LFT - 1200
Striker saffron mage glass III - 800
Tact black metal stars - 1700
OG Striker crimson octane abtruse - ?
Striker cb Phoenix wings III - 1k
GE22 Striker black proton boost - ?
OG striker SB reactor - 1500
GK exo cb spyder - 900
CC2 Striker TW lobo - 25k
Striker TW decennium - 2.5k
Vindicator striker Tw and black creepers - 3k each
STW invader, stern, lowrider, Octavian, trahere - ?
FG sunburst - 1k
FG apex - 1500
Sweeper purple, orange tact, CB GK, BS GK, FG scorer emeralds - ?
FG + victor crimson encryption - 800 / 1k
Purple EQ Trail - 1k
Striker pink GP19 and crimson GK GP22 Equalizer - ?
Sweeper TW triumph kyrios - ?
Scorer purple + orange octane rlcs 21-22 - 300 both
GK orange, crimson and grey octane rlcs 21-22 - 400 all 3
Black Thanatos - 2300
Lime sniper Phoenix cannon - 1500
OG orange tactician shade raid - ?
FG + orange tunica (unc) - 2k / 2.2k
Striker orange and lime rlcs x octane decals - ?
Fornax BS tactician mamba - ?
Triumph Tactician crimson animus GP: rose king - ?
Tactician overdrive orange, crimson and saffron FGSP - ?
Black GK overdrive FGSP - ?
Elevation Striker black discotheque trail - ?
Elevation Playmaker TW nimbus - ?
OG tactician grey octane kana - ?
Striker NC portal cake topper - ?
Striker black and burnt sienna truncheons GG21/22 - ?

I have my bravo ticket and the season is about to end, so it’s time to use it. However, I’m torn between 2 skins so I’d like other opinions.
Option 1 - Ela Shotgun black ice: probably the most fun shotgun in the game, and I’m good with it, I also don’t have any good skins for her at the moment
Option 2 - French Shotgun black ice: my favorite shotgun and probably the best one in the game, but I almost never use the shotgun, and I already have good skins for the operators’ other weapons, such as the P90, MP5, and Lion’s rifle.
Which do y’all think I should get?

My family an I went paddle boarding this weekend and it was great. It’s myself (29f), husband (30m), our daughter (6), and our son who is 2. It was me an my son in one paddle and my husband an daughter on the other. We had a great time and it was sunny and calm, got to the other side of the lake no problem and waited for a small sprinkle rain to pass in a shallow wooded cove that was almost magical. We noticed that the evening storm looked like it was coming sooner than expected so decided to leave when the sprinkles stopped. I was matching my husbands strokes but all of a sudden I noticed that he was much farther ahead of me an my son so I called to him but my voice just disappeared into the lake and he didn’t hear me. At this point there is no one else on the lake.
The wind kicks up really heavy and me an my son try our best to balance the board but we eventually fell into the water. It was about 81 degrees out but the water was probably 60-70 degrees.. not warm but tolerable. Now my husband always gives me grief about what I think is a bit of an irrational fear about me freaking out randomly about losing my son in water. I’ve always been afraid of lakes and oceans so anytime I even get on a lake I’m pushing myself, so let alone with my children. Anyways, since my fear my son had a life jacket on as normal and he was strapped into the paddle board with the ankle strap. We were in the water for about 10 minutes before I could get my son up. The wind was making waves and the board was upside down. It was such a pain to flip it and keep my sons head out of the water and not crying. I did it and put my son up first and tried to kick to any shore but I was in the middle of this lake and the wind was blowing me everywhere. I managed to get up and at that time I realized I lost my ore.. we were stuck in the wavy windy lake with no way to move and no one is on this lake. I can’t see my daughter an husband so I thought he would get help right away after not seeing us.
My son an I balanced on the board for about 15 minutes and I screamed and yelled for help but my voice didn’t carry. I tried to keep my son warm and he just wanted hugs. Then I saw a speed boat an I waved my hands and yelled and waved an waved and the lady waved back. She grabbed my son and my legs were dead so this man picked me off the board. I cried right away said thank you and asked if my husband was ok and they told me they we good and asked them for help. We then picked up a canoe with a 3 year old that needed help an towed them in.. it happened so fast I was never so scared.
I hate the water

Below are the upcoming events at The University of Arizona this week.
Are you a club or organization wanting to add your events to the calendar? All events are pulled from the official UofA calendar. Add your own events to the calendar using this link.
Rule #5 still applies for any comments in this thread

Upcoming Events

Monday, May 29
Memorial Day – No Classes	all day

Tuesday, May 30
Graduate Center Writing Efficiency Sessions	9am - 11am

Wednesday, May 31
Workshop: 'Managing Your Emotional Wellness'	noon - 1pm

Thursday, June 1
'Library Carpentry' Workshops	9am - noon
Graduate Center Writing Efficiency Sessions	1pm - 3pm

Friday, June 2
Forbidden Stories: The Best of the Best in Banned Books	9am - 12:30pm
Friday Meditation	noon - 1pm

Saturday, June 3
Last Day of Classes and Examinations– Summer 2023 Pre-Session	all day
Meet Rainbow Fish At Story Time	10:30am
Meet Rainbow Fish At Story Time	2pm

Ongoing Events
'Desert Triangle Print Carpeta'	May. 27, 2023 - Dec. 21, 2023
Ancient-Modern: Continuity and Innovation in Southwest Native Jewelry	Feb. 4, 2023 - Oct. 28, 2023
The Vault Show: Staff Picks	May. 27, 2023 - Sep. 30, 2023
Online Exhibition: 'The Legacy of Yinyuan Longqi (Ingen Ryūki) and the Art of Ōbaku'	Aug. 31, 2022 - Aug. 31, 2023
'Inspired by Plants: The Art and Science of the Campus Arboretum Florilegium'	Feb. 13, 2023 - Aug. 31, 2023
Worlds of Words Center Presents 'Paper Son: Lee's Journey to America'	May. 22, 2023 - Aug. 10, 2023

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 70%. (I'm a bot)

KYIV, May 28 - Russia unleashed waves of air strikes on Kyiv overnight in what officials said appeared to be the largest drone attack on the city since the start of the war, as the Ukrainian capital prepared to celebrate the anniversary of its founding on Sunday.
In what also appears to be the first deadly attack on Kyiv in May and the 14th assault this month, falling debris killed a 41-year-old man, Mayor Vitali Klitschko said.
The pre-dawn attacks came on the last Sunday of May when the capital celebrates Kyiv Day, the anniversary of its official founding 1,541 years ago.
Air Force said on Telegram that Russia had targeted military and critical infrastructure facilities in the central regions of Ukraine, and the Kyiv region in particular.
10/10] Mayor of Kyiv Vitali Klitschko uses a mobile phone ahead of "Special Dialogue with CEO's" meeting in the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, January 18, 2023.
"Today, the enemy decided to 'congratulate' the people of Kyiv on Kyiv Day with the help of their deadly UAVs," Popko said on the Telegram messaging channel.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: KYIV^#1 air^#2 attack^#3 drone^#4 district^#5
Post found in /worldnews and /RussiaUkraineBriefing.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

(We've got some updates about the subreddit including Splatoon 3 spoilers. Please see this post for more details)
Hey there Squids, Octos, and sea creatures of any kind!
Welcome to the Weekly Aquerium! With the old Squad Search and Aquerium, they were only used for just finding teammates or just asking questions. With the new Weekly Aquerium, we hope to bring the two things together into one reoccurring weekly thread!
Each week, there will be a new stickied thread up on Sunday mornings at 9am ET, and they'll stay up until the following Sunday where they'll be replaced by a new thread (Pending special events and the like).
Before posting, why not check with the Splatoon FAQ to see if your question has already been answered. If not, this is the place to be!

How do I ask questions here?

The primary use of the Weekly Aquerium is to have the freedom to ask away with any bubbling questions you may have! While this is mostly to help reduce clutter with repeat posts on the subreddit, there are various types of questions which are better asked here! These includes questions such as:

• Simple Yes/No answers
• One answer questions
• "How _ works" or "Why is _ like this"

If you have questions which don't fit the criteria above (Such as broad questions, gear or weapon choices), you're welcome to post them to the subreddit! And if you are unsure whether a question should go here or on the subreddit, it's still perfectly fine to post straight to the subreddit!

What if I want to look for new friends?

The secondary use of the Weekly Aquerium is to double as a place to find new friends (aka Squad Search 2)!
Since Reddit isn't the easiest place to organise your matches, we suggest joining the Splatoon Discord Server where they have dedicated channels for voice chat, match finding, and gear ordering for all your squid game needs! If you still prefer using Reddit, you are also free to look for new friends here by leaving your friend code below, or even giving a friendly hallo to others!

Closing out!

We hope that this thread will be of good use to those who come across it! Once again, do join the Splatoon Discord Server for your squid game needs! And be sure to Stay Fresh, Stay off the Hook, and Catch ya Later!

LOOOOOOOORE SUNDAAAAAAAAY

What is this thread for?

Curious about the lore for a TM franchise you haven't consumed? Got theories and need cited source material? Want to know how the laws of Nasuvese works on a fundamental level? Need to find that one line you can't find proof of anywhere because TM wiki is hilariously unreliable?
This is the place!
This thread will be a Q&A sort of location that will serve as a "lore library" of sorts that you can use for any inquiries.
This is NOT meant to be a place for containing all lore discussion and theory posts, as those are still highly encouraged to be submission posts outside of this thread so more people can see your ideas!

Translated Source Material Links

• TMdict - contains all Side Material translated
• Chaldea Records - Compilation of in-game profiles and materials
• TRI-HERMES Lore Database ~ WIP

FGO Materials

• Story Summary Compilation
• Event Summary Compilation
• Interlude Summary Compilation
• Material Profile Translation Compilation
• FGO Arcade Lost Jerusalem Part 1 Translations
• FGO Arcade Lost Jerusalem Post-Raid Translations
• Camelot Zero, premise of Camelot singularity written on Nasu's Blog
• FGO Arcade Babylon Translations

Anime

• Kara no Kyoukai Movie Series
• F/SN Unlimited Blade Works - Ufotable
• Fate/Zero
• Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya - Trust me, just read the manga.
• Fate/Grand Order - First Order
• Emiya Gohan
• Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files {Rail Zeppelin} Grace note
• Fate/Grand Order - Moonlight Lostroom
• Fate/Grand Order - Demonic Front: Babylonia

Note: Nonexistent Tsukihime anime and first two of the Heavens Feel Trilogy Movie Series can be found in the internet somewhere, I believe in you to find them. Wink wink.
Note 2: Fate/Apocrypha and Fate/Last Encore can be found on Netflix, along with Deen/Stay Night as well as Zero, UBW, and First Order.

Manga

• Tsukihime Arcuied Route
• Melty Blood , Act 2 , X
• Kara no Kyoukai
• Fate/Zero
• Prisma Illya, 2wei , 3rei
• FSN Heaven's Feel
• Koha Ace GO
• Fate/Extra CCC Foxtail
• Fate/Apocrypha
• FGO Turas Realta
• FGO Mortalis Stella
• FGO EoR Shinjuku
• FGO EoR SE.RA.PH.
• FGO EoR Shimosa
• FGO EoR Salem
• Fate/Strange Fake
• Fate/Type Redline
• FGO From Lostbelt
• Case Files
• Emiya-san chi no Gohan

Note: You can support a lot of the aforementioned manga officially through this website! https://web-ace.jp/tmca/

LNs

• Angel Notes
• Kara no Kyoukai
• Fate/Zero
• Fate/Apocrypha
• Prototype Fragments Volume 1 Complete PDF + Volume 2 Full Translations + The Rest of the Translations
• Fate/Requiem Volume 1
• Fate/Strange Fake
• Lord El Melloi II Case Files
• El Melloi Adventures Volume 1 Summary

Drama CDs

• Garden of Avalon
• Heroic Spirit's Lore Strange Tales: Edmond Dantes

VNs and Games

• Tsukihime and English patch if you want to play the VN, get VN Separately ​
• Kagetsu Tohya English patch for VN
• FSN All 3 Routes and English patch for VN
• FSN Fate Route ReTL
• Fate/Extella
• Fate/Hollow Ataraxia English Patch
• Fate/Extra English patch
• Fate/Extra CCC Gilgamesh Route and ZVN's Video typeset Playthrough
• Tsukihime Remake Arcuied Days 1-5 English Patch ​

Hello,
I am at a period in my life where I would like to treat me a new bike. I mean a bike bought new, suited to my needs. Some advice would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post but I though giving more information could help narrow down some prefect setup.
I live in Europe. Nothing against US, but shipping and import taxes are a concern. Although I spend most of my time commuting, I am not a roadie. Road geometry is not my thing. Most of my bikes have been rigid MTB with some hardtails (80-120mm) here and there. I think "all terrainroad bike" describe them quite well ? I like to go sweat and push pedals sometimes (even for commuting). Commutehybrid are a bit too far on the comfort side of the spectrum to me.
My current bike is this model https://image.biked.com/351240-superlarge_default/vtt-26-decathlon-rockrider-600-entierement-restaure.jpg As a side note "VTT" in France is used to talk about "MTB" bikes but "VTT" literally translates to ATB. Nowadays those bikes are usually commuters, or even used as tourers (rack mounts on the frame). I am posting in this subreddit because many touring bikes seem to share similar geometry with my current bike. Also touring is something I would like to do someday and the bike should be able to be used this way.
On to the point!

1. Frame material: Titanium?
   • Commuting is wet here, and salty in winter. My 23 years old frame is holding well but I have not look inside the BB for a while ... I like titanium, it is beautiful and does not rust. I would like to avoid steel (even top-grade ones) as I have heard that rust treatment is not the same anymore as it used to be. Regulations might be forbidding the use of toxic (but more efficient) products? Having to take the seatpost out, and put the bike upside down during the night is a no-go. I can afford titanium but it has to make sense.
   • Discussing the ride feel/quality does not really interest me. A diamond frame is a diamond frame. I would like to throw the bike into a car's trunk sometimes (along other bikes) and I am concerned about carbon being to dent/scratch prone?
   • Touring with titanium could be theft-prone. Although I guess thieves are going to steal everything they can on a steel touring bike, do thieves recognize a titanium bike when they see it and go crazy?
2. Transmission: belt rohloff?
   • I love to wrench my bike but it seems I have to change chain more than once a year. I also do not have a water hose/garden where I live, so some rug is all I have for chain maintenance. Cassette and chainrings are also usually already worn out when I decide it is time for chain change ... Chainring change involves whole crankset swap because I cannot find a modern crankset with bolt-on chainrings compatible with my bottom bracket (squared tappered), 3 chainrings, for 8-speed chain. A belt + internal hub seem to be a solution to the sand+grim from the road. Any experience with that?
   • The frame should then be splittable. I do not want to take the risk of the VEER split belt only to find out later that I should have gone with the splittable frame option.
3. Cockpit: flat bar or equivalent?
   • First I wanted drop bars, because of the hoods that give a more physiologic position, right? Also because of the multiple positions advertised. Now I want flat bars, hear me out. I have ridden drop bar for 2 hours (on a road, then a gravel bike). I like the hoods but the brakes lever do not produce a strong enough output to give me confidence (yes it was hydro disc, still not happy); Drops are a good position for emergency breaking but I do not like the position (do not care for aero etc ...) maybe drops on tourers are a different story ? Then you can alternate with the flat portion indeed. Regarding flat bars, I feel that the default position is strong, good for control, braking power while you are close to car traffic. Then I usually add bar ends similar to ergon g4 that offers the new position (this is from my MTB days where steep climbs were better done with bar ends). The bar ends position are similar to hoods in a way but your arms are spread out, I admit. The solution could be the "crazy bar" from "velo orange" https://velo-orange.com/collections/alt-bars/products/crazy-bars-2. With this + end bars I would have 2 hood-like positions + 2 trad position. Am I missing something? Can flat bar work for long rides?
   • The frame should be designed either for drop vs flat but not both right? Is it reasonnable to expect a given frame to be compatible with both ? In this case, do you have to also adapt the fork in order to keep a decent handling ?

Where I am at: A titanium splittable frame, with rolhoff belt drive and flat bars. Would be a do-it all. Commute, capable of light offroad and touring. I have found several options:

• https://www.hilite-bikes.com/en/custom-rohloff-adventure-touring-titanium-frame.html
• https://www.nuabikes.com/nua-roure-titanium-bike (rohloff model)
• https://www.pilotcycles.com/frame-customize/vamos-rohloff/
• https://carverbikes.com/frames/ti-all-road/

Nua, Pilot and Carver have sliding drop-out. This means I could change the transmission to a derailleur someday if I want? All of those (except Carver) are in EU.
It seems a lot of the price is due to "customization" of the frame which I do not care about. Although I would like to choose frame size (S, M, L), the fitting would be done at home with saddle, stem, cranks, handle bar. I am pretty sure that all those frames are made in China (I have no issue with that). Should I just call Walty, Tiris and get the most suitable frame?
I have no issue building my bike so I could order the frame from China then all the parts from Europe. I am a bit afraid of messing something up and ending up with incompatible parts (BB vs crank; frame vs drops vs rohloff hub; brake rotor vs calliper vs mounts; etc ...) Any experience with building a chinese tourer ?
If you have read this long thanks for your dedication and I hope to hear from you.
Best,

I'm a 28 year old female and my partner is 35. We've been married for 5 years and together over 7. The first six months of our relationship the sex and intimacy were otherworldly. He was the best sex of my life (and previously I had a lot of great sex). Before we met he messed himself up with a testosterone cycle and around the 6 month mark of us dating stopped taking some pills that were blocking? the effects of what he did. Since then, our sex life slowly went downhill. He's had difficulty maintaining erections and seemingly little to no passion or sexual interest in me. Fastwordward to now, he seems afraid to have intimate contact (example: cuddling); I think because he's afraid I'll try to initiate sex. He tells me I'm not the problem and it's him. I've definitely gained weight since we met and don't feel great about my looks, he doesn't often positively comment on my body anymore or grab my ass. He can maintain an erection while asleep. I've watched him masterbate a couple times (why he does it in bed when I'm a light sleeper I don't know) but notice he never ejaculates/finishes. Sex is sporadic - we don't have it for months then one month we might 2 or 3 times. In March we went on vacation and had sex every day. I got pregnant. Since getting back, we've had sex 3 times with no ejaculation and it's the end of May. I'm not too into masturbating, it makes me feel sad that I have to do it myself when I have a beautiful partner. Besides for a sexless marriage, our relationship is quite good. We spend a lot of time together, talk about our days and feelings, sex is the only thing missing. He was diagnosed with low t and started treatment 2 months ago. He still has no desire and difficulty maintaining an erection. Whenever we talk about it it leads to an argument. I'm a blunt speaker and that's something for me to work on. Is there any hope for my sex life? I feel trapped. I love him so much. Sex (used to be) is a major part of how I show love and feel loved/safe.