How long do aes sedai live

Hi everyone,
[MODS im not seeking medical advice, more so personal experience)
One of my first times posting, so I dont know if this belongs here or on an alternate forum but I thought i'd try my luck on reddit for anyone with similar experience since I couldn't find anything specific on google and its a b*** & a half to contact my PT atm (I tried). Will see them on Tuesday however.
Basically, I have sciatica caused by a prior injury (disc bulge) but it was always generally manageable. I've recently gotten into yoga, Pilates etc for fun, sociality & fitness
Anyway cut short, I was doing an exercise for hamstrings or whatever that involved me having to straighten out my leg completely, raise it as high as i could go and move my feet/toes up & down, I laid down a bit while doing it to ease tension. It absolutely killed & strained and I tried to go as high as I could bc idk, pride & perseverance i guess, also genuinely wanted to stretch my hamstring out. They said it was to improve flexion/flexibility but I guess ill be seeking out another instructor soon lol. I've now learnt this was called ''sciatic nerve flossing''.
Point is, the following day my leg became extremely sore, not so much an electrocuting pain shooting through my leg like anyone/myself would usually feel with sciatica. It was very tender from my butt down to my calves and the pain felt really tight & constricting more like a rubber band being pulled to its limits, like when you touch your toes & your hamstrings go crazy. I originally attributed it to a sciatica flare up but i don't think this is related to my disc bulge injury at all. (Feel free to correct me if im wrong).
I also know that the sciatic nerve does not like to be stretched out at all so Im considering if i've done some serious damage by that exercise. I've been doing ice/heat therapy. pain meds but halted on stretches bc way too painful at the moment so basically just off work to rest.
I have no clue how bad irritation/overstretching the sciatic nerve can be or how long it'll last, or what impact it has on my pre-existing sciatica. but i'm hoping any of you guys who do similar fitness activities as me could offer some insight/personal experiences with this if you have any. bc google is no help at all & delete if not appropriate for this forum if you must.
Thanks everyone. :)

Every time I think I've reached my breaking point, she comes up even worse. She's just back from the hospital, after making a whole circus of our home (in this country is acceptable to still live with your parents at adult age because.. economy is bad). She raged for hours on end. I understand I fuck up, I'm lazy, I forget to be always looking for something to clean or fix around here. But I don't think it justifies treating me like trash. Even my auntie came and told her to calm down or she might get sick or something. I tried to not engage, not respond, no nothing but I'm so shaky this is so bad.
Then she brought a friend to talk and badmouth me until said friend said fuck it I can't take it anymore and left. Then she scream-cried until I guess she got tired? It was about 2am. Today she was sent to the hospital because she eventually got sick (blood pressure went boom). And now that she came home, she called me all sorts of names. How I need to change and this was MY fault. I don't know why she hates me.
Told me it's better that I didn't have children, because I'd be a horrible fucking mother. Not like her who gave it all for me. This broke my heart. I can't leave. I've made some mistakes that are keeping me from having my own place. I have a low paying job for now. I don't fight or cry in front of her anymore but fuck it's awful.
Sorry for the long rant. I found this community because i don't know where else to go.

I'm 17 (mtf) and live in Indiana. I've been dealing with gender dysphoria for around a year and a few months ago figured out I'm transfem. This dysphoria, along with having to present myself as a guy (I'm not openly out yet), has lead to depression that I hoped could be helped with HRT. However, my state recently just passed a bill banning any gender affirming care to minors, meaning this option isn't available to me anymore. Even though I'll be 18 in 4 months, I honestly don't know how I can deal with this dysphoria any longer, as my only options that I felt could help me feel more comfortable have been taken from me. I can't do anything about it unfortunately and it hurts, but is there any advice for how I can deal with these feelings?

He needs prayer for salvation. Our sister died in 2015 of heart complications, she was too young, and wanted a family. My brothers and sisters seemed to of lost faith as a family. Tonight, my brother Mike sent me a video of himself dancing, and it was disturbing. He captioned it to me saying “video of me making a fool of myself.” The dance was sexual and foolish, it resembled dances to Ishtar, jezebel, or adulterous spirits. It was a long video. I sent him a text, instantly denouncing and renouncing those familiar evil spirits, to be out of my brother, and sent to the abyss in Jesus name. I didn’t know what else to do. It was like the evil spirits were mocking me with dances from the video he sent me. Because I used to play music and dance to such evil. I texted him and explained how Jesus delivered me from such adulterous spirits, on March 17th 2021, thank You Lord. And he hasn’t responded to any of my following messages. He may feel attacked, because he might think it was a silly dance. But when else could such spirits be rebuked? I felt the need to write him, and the spirit of it looked sinister and familiar. I’m asking for prayers of deliverance for my brother Mike. And for guidance from the Holy Spirit on how to go about communicating. He is a self professed agnostic. But I firmly believe demons and evil spirits are real, and do have influence on behaviors. The enemy seems to be clearly taunting me through my brother. I pray our Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit enter Mike’s life, and that he becomes saved by Jesus. I pray in Jesus name.

This is a long post! Tl;Dr at the end!
So I just started a new run today, modded to hell and back but primarily QoL stuff, Britas, They Knew, Only Cure (it's a fun alternative when the hazmats are all hiding) and Don't Feed The Zombies and Susceptible. I turn off DFTZ hordes because they're broken, and instead zombies only eat corpses they happen to wander past, which is fun.
I have just shy of 300 hours in the game, but don't let that fool you I'm really, really bad at it, so I'm doing my absolute best here to give it a good good try. My character is Maya Hallman, dyslexic burglar who has a lot of focus on being small, quick and stealthy. I know stealth is usually pretty, meh, but when it starts at 3 and you have inconspicuous and graceful it's usually pretty handy to have.
It's worth noting I also installed Evolving Traits World for this run and for the first time. So it turns out Maya is also super anxious and has a lot of trouble sleeping, which is incredibly relatable. This becomes relevant later. Ish.
Maya spawmed in Riverside, at a library and got a good early bump to a lot of recipes through sitting and reading magazines. She was also prepared for the apocalypse and started with a spiked baseball bat, and a hunting knife. There was a commercial kitchen nearby with some steak and chicken just sitting on the benches, so she slapped that in the oven and had a meal for for a queen. Then she went and found a quaint little house free of zombies, behind a tall invincible fence, and dropped her bags there, got changed into her pajamas -a teal satin neglige she definitely didn't pull off a zombie- and slept.
Or so I thought, instead of sleeping, every zombie that walked past the house stirred her awake. So did every single random sound event brought on by the Random Sound Events mod. So the first night was tough to sleep through, even at maximum fatigue. But eventually, after several hours of trying, Maya was exactly well rested enough to get to it. Some powerful item organising later, some early morning Exposure Survival and a bowl of pasta later, we head out to start sweeping through the street.
There were a lot of zombies, and the baseball bat didn't last too long, neither did the hunting knife. But we found and axe and a crowbar so we have backup weapons and they're pretty good. Maya is a burglar anyway, she knows her way around a crowbar pretty well. Using our new weapons and a mostly cleared of food street, we go just up the road to a nearby gigamart. The back door is not only unlocked, but entirely missing so we walk straight on in.
Aaaand set off an alarm. Shit. Maya grabs three fridges and two shelving units worth of food and drink without looking at it, runs home through a couple other houses, and dumps all the food in the fridge or the cupboard. Among the goods are some seven sacks of fruits and vegetables, and about thirty kilos of non-perishables. Tinned foods, cereals and even some chips. A not so bad haul!
I proceed to immediately forget about the alarm, and the crazed blitz out of the store witnessed by many zombies.
A slightly more restful night, and we head to a nearby school parking lot, where I find a bike with a full tank of gas, and a jeep of some description with cracked windows, but otherwise pretty well maintained. We get the bike hotwired no problem and find a key to the jeep. But there's a really fancy looking sports car I'm interested in looking inside of, so I decided to test out one of my other mods I've never really played with.
Better Lockpicking! Maya grabs her newly baptised in blood crowbar, and I get a fun little minigame to pry open the door. I've never done this before, but it's cool! It also drains endurance like nothing else I've ever seen before, and my endurance seems to be coming back much slower than normal, but that's fine. I just want to get inside the car!
Well something I didn't think of, is all the noise this would make, and the inability to fight due to not having any endurance left. All those zombies dragged in by the alarm have been quietly and politely snacking on corpses in my street but otherwise leaving me alone. Until now, because why eat a dead corpse when you can eat a fresh one! So a horde some fifty or sixty thick comes shambling over to contact me in regards to my new cars extended warranty, and take a deposit of flesh upfront. After lots of crazed dragging around, Maya ends up just barely jumping on the bike and getting out of there.
One cool thing is whatever model bike this is has no horn, and instead pressing Q just revs the engine really loudly. So we do that for a while to drag zombies away from home, but it's not good enough in the end and we have to crash somewhere else for the night. I clear out no less than three houses, and STILL have to move onto a fourth house because all the exhausted attacking takes too long and draws too much attention from the zeds. I forgot to clear the fourth. Maya is so tired she passes out and sleeps for six continuous hours before waking up for the first time.
Too rested to sleep more, and with our sleeping pills at home, I check the bathroom to see if there's any in there, and get greeted by two zombies who I had no idea were in the house but of course, it makes sense. I did literally just, not check the house at all. Thankfully Maya is rested, so she takes them down with no worries. No sleeping pills, but that's fine. We find a second jeep, in absolutely perfect condition, and fill her up with fuel siphoned from the bike. Which had so much in it there's even still a bit left in case of an emergency!
We drive back home, and find that the hordes have moved around but are definitely still in the area. But with time, motivation, and a detour through the school, I drag them off in little clusters and slowly whittle them down. I even find a bottle of bourbon on one of them, stuff a pair of zombie socks in the top, and make my first Molotov in 300 hours. Absolutely satisfying, nothing goes amiss, I train all the zombies into a neatly packed congaline of flames and they all die politely.
Maya heads back home and has another restless night, waking up around four in the morning. Eat, take care of the zombies chewing on corpses in the back yard, watch the woodcraft guy take his shirt off on tv. Living the dream. But by now the zombies are starting to stink up the place and we've narrowly avoided corpse sickness by taking that break in the random house for a night, so i decided it's time to start burning bodies. Maya lights a campfire in the back yard and starts tossing corpses into it, easy enough!
But when she stops to have a cigarette, a zombie sneaks up on her. Drawn in no doubt by the crackling flames and the sound of burning flesh, so it's a scramble to pull her mask back on before she gets sick while also training the zombies through the campfire. Hey, at least I won't have to cremate them one by one this way?
Several very close calls and a lacerated arm later, the horde I had utterly forgotten about being drawn into and avoided in the school, is finally, finally, dealt with. So, Maya heads on into the kitchen through the back door for a well earned strawberry milk!
And immediately bursts into flames because a flaming zombie managed to die just on the cusp of my house and now the kitchen is on fire! And I don't have an extinguisher yet! The Stop Drop And Roll mod comes in clutch, and Maya puts the fire out before it gets too bad. She'll be tender on the lower torso for a while, but all in all that's a good trade for her life. The screams of pain draw in a couple of stragglers, but only four zombies comes to check it out. They stumble over some still burning corpses -one actually lost interest in chasing Maya and instead went to monch on a flaming corpse of its own accord- and quickly perish
Then, finally safe, again, Maya heads inside to watch the damage unfold and also, finish off that damned strawberry milk before the fridge burns down. All the counters are gone, all the weapons and the guns, all the cooking gear and even my cupboard full of drugs. But I managed to save my spare bags and it's honestly very pretty, the effects of a fire. Eventually, the fire dies out and only three tiles of kitchen remain. The one with the fridge, the one with the corner cupboard full of non-perishables, and a single wooden chair.
Counting her lucky stars, Maya doesn't even get pajama'd and instead just falls into bed. Somehow, the food, arguably the most important stuff I had, because I pulled it from every house in a two street grid, survived. All the weapons and the drugs and cigarettes are replaceable, and the burns will heal. For the first time ever, I actually have a recoverable run here! If this was my typical run, I would have been dragged down by flaming zombies for daring to use a new mechanic. I'm feeling good about this! I'll update when I inevitably wraparound a stopsign moving all my stuff!
Tl;Dr, Shenanigans after shenanigans ensue that end up with a massive, flaming horde wandering through my base in the early days of a new run, and burning down everything EXCEPT my stockpile of food, kicking off what will hopefully be a very badass character arc!

I have HA and one of my worst fears came true. My bf found out he has a rare genetic disorder that has a 50% chance to be inherited.
We're commited and planning kids in the future. I freak out over a fuckin cough and this is driving me crazy.
For me, the worst part is that my boyfriend is an absolute flegmatic and works on "don't think about what you can't solve" approach. I almost broke down when he brought the results home and he was just like... "We'll see what to do when it happens, it's not like there's something we can do about it" and then I saw in the report that they offered him an assisted reproduction option when we'll want kids and asked him if he'll want to go down that route and he said "Dunno" and it was obvious that he's not too excited about it". But, like, how can you even THINK about risking 50% chance of it being inherited by our child??? It drives me absolutely bonkers. Why would you even be willing to RISK it when there is way safe option that is not that natural but would ensure that we'll have a thriving, healthy baby? And especially when the other alternative is pretty miserable, both physically and mentally?
We've been together for years and at this point I know him. I know he only seems to not care because he has a hard time explaining and showing his emotions. I also know I am being terribly, terribly unfair towards him for feeling frustrated at him. He just found out something so crucial! He needs time and space to deal with it and he needs my support. Instead I am the one demanding emotional support from him (I am demanding it only here don't worry, I don't plan to freak out on him while he's going through this). I don't understand why I am being so selfish when usually I put others first automatically.
But most stress inducing thing about it is, he mentioned some of my health issues to the genetic center and now they want to see me too because they have "a small suspicion" that there might be something from my side too. Of course, I googled the signs of what he has and, well, I am not surprised they want to see me, I check all the boxes, even skeletal malformation.
What's keeping me sane is the knowledge that the disorder is incredibly rare and that neither of my siblings show any (obvious) signs of it. That in itself should logically be enough to reassure me that I am FINE, but my brain refuses to accept it. I feel like someone took me, stuffed me into a washing machine and turned on a turbo wash. And I want to scream.
AAAAAAAAAA
Whew, thanks you for letting me get it all out. I really need to find therapist again, and my man is coming with me this time.
Anyone has any experience with micro deletions in their family? Or has anyone gone through anything similar? How did you manage to calm yourself down while waiting for the doctors to set up the appointment/run the tests? I heard it can take half a year to get an appointment, and then half a year till they tell you your test results. How did you survive for this long with this uncertainty?

If you’re an older women and looking for someone younger to chat and maybe have relationship with don’t be shy send me a message I’ll gladly reply and hopefully we could have something together. I hope you enjoy some who looks very young too😅Ive been looking for someone who could make my life a little better and enjoyable with their companionship. I’m sure someone is out there who would love the feel the same I hope. But of course wed have to know each other a little more and see how we connect. I’m only 5’7” hazel eyes and curly hair. I enjoy working out so I’d say I have an athletic body. There’s a sorta picture of me on my profile if you’d like to take a peak at it :) I would love someone who has good communication and at least able to handle a good conversation. love doing anything really as long as we’re both having fun, laughing and enjoying life together I don’t mind what else we try for the first time. I’m a funny, caring, loyal and hard working guy there’s a few more words I would describe myself as but it’ll make this description a little too long I know many to like to read all of it. I would enjoy going out and exploring new places with someone but don’t worry so much if don’t like going out much I enjoy indoors just as much. There’s so much we could talk about if you’re interested and if possible sending a picture of yourself would be amazing but not necessary unless you want to show later I will do the same :) I hope to hear from someone… PLEASE BE LEGIT

Here’s the first part in case you missed it: https://www.reddit.com/yandere/comments/11zcy7o/journal_part1_someone_broke_into_our_house_today/
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October 10th, 2014: It’s been two days since someone broke into our house. After checking every nook and cranny in my room, I can say for sure that nothing was taken. Still, I thought that was a sign the week was going to be rough, but after today it’s looking up.
It started like every other day. I got up, put on my clothes, and went downstairs to eat. When I walked into the dining room, I saw my dad hunched over at the table and noticed there were a few more gray hairs today. He was pushing glasses up to his eyes, sipping coffee out of a mug, and reading something on a laptop. His morning routine.
I leaned over his shoulder, “Doing some research, old man?”
“I’m a journalist, Sam. I’m always doing research,” he sighed.
“What are looking up now?”
My dad leaned back and shooed me away.
“I’ll tell you, but go and grab your plate. I don’t want you to be late for school.”
I nodded and turned to leave. My dad put a hand on my shoulder before I took a step.
“Get my plate too. I’m going to be here for a while.” He leaned over his laptop and started where he left off.
“Okay, Dad,” I chuckled.
My plate was on the kitchen counter, next to the stove. My mom left me a fruit smile gummy next to the plate. No note that said “I love you,” or “have a good day,” just a smiley face gummy. I love her, but that woman is too goofy for me sometimes. Anyways, I got me and dads plates and sat down at the table.
“I see you’re changing your brown hair color, can’t say gray looks much better,” I teased.
“Just you wait, one day you’re going to be in my shoes. Then I’ll be the one laughing.”
“I’ll just shave my head and then you’ll never see a strand of gray.”
My dad laughed a little bit, “That’ll be the day!”
We sat there and ate for a while. Mom made bacon and eggs. She hasn’t been able to eat with us since her schedule changed. I kind of miss seeing her in the morning. It always helped me mentally prepare for school. I looked up and saw my dad munching on bacon as he looked at his laptop. He had tired eyes. The kind you get after receiving bad news. I figured whatever they had him researching must have been messed up, even for him. He’s been a journalist for over a decade. He started working at a local paper, small time stuff. Now, he’s a freelance journalist with a lot of connections. One thing you learn in the making of news is that the grotesque catches people’s eyes. That’s the kind of stuff he looked for when he was worming his way up in the journalism world. Doing that exposes you to a lot of things, you grow numb overtime, but there were a few things that would always rattle dad. I guess you just can’t grow a tolerance to everything.
“So what are you doing?” I said as I dug into my eggs.
My dad took a sip from his mug and set back down. He tapped the bridge of his glasses. I always assumed he did this because he’d still be trying to piece the story together by the time I asked him.
“The Goodwill press asked me to do a job for them. A family has asked them to write an article about their son. He passed away a few years ago in 2008.” I looked up from my plate, “How’d he die?”
“He was murdered. The worst case this town ever had. They found him on the side of a backroad, west of here. His body was mutilated, unrecognizable.”
Dad took off his glasses and pressed his temple.
“Poor boy was only eight years old. Would have been fourteen now. Your age.”
“What was his name?” I asked.
“Marcus Thatcher.”
“Thatcher? There’s someone named Kyle Thatcher that goes to our school. I think he’s a sophomore.”
I took a bite out of some bacon, “Who killed him?”
My dad shrugged, “Who knows? They never found enough substantial evidence to even place a suspect. It’s a cold case now. We may never know. I don’t want to even imagine how his parents must feel.”
He tapped the table and pointed at my plate, “Finish your food and get out of here. It’s almost time for you to leave.”
Nothing much happened in school, not until the end. Fourth period ended and I was going to my locker. Unfortunately, and this was the downer of the day, I saw Derek. The big oaf locked eyes with me and I knew I was fucked. Derek got taller this year, bigger too. Even being far away didn’t stop him from towering over me. He still had the same stupid, curly, haircut and so many freckles. He stood on the opposite end of the hall, the side I had to get to. As soon as he saw me, Derek walked in my direction. I want to say that I didn’t get scared. That I stood in place and eyed him down, but I didn’t. My heart sank and I went to the left side of the hallway. Lockers lined the walls. I looked at the locker numbers, hoping that Derek would just leave me alone. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I held my chest. My asthma can get triggered by stress and fear so it was instinct. We were about to pass one another and I thought he was going to let me be. Then he lunged at me and slammed his fist against the locker, the boom from its impact echoed through the halls. I jumped. He grabbed my collar, not letting me have the time to react, and pulled me right in his face. He stared at me, his eyes always looked bloodshot. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t get enough air in. First there was a wheeze and then I started to cough. It was only then he let me go, with a shit-eating grin. He pushed me against the locker and walked away. He loved making me have an asthma attack, although this wasn’t his favorite way. No, he only does that when he has a bad day. I suppose today must have been a good one.
I walked to my locker, coughing. It felt like a cloud was filling my lungs. I didn’t want to run and make it worse, but now I needed to get to my locker because my inhaler was in there. When I got there I twisted and turned the dial lock. It seems dumb to put an inhaler inside a locked container, but guess what happens if I don’t? Derek or his friends steal it. Either by taking it when I’m not looking or by just shoving their hands in my pockets. I’ve learned to not do anything about it. I used to when he first started bullying me, but he would just get suspended and come back super pissed. He and his friends would jump me. After that happened for the third time, I got the gist. The teachers wouldn’t help. I've tried to get used to it, but I can't. I let it happen or run if I can, but I want it to stop so much. Although, I know I could never make it stop. When I opened my locker, I cursed at myself and this day. It was another reminder of how I was Derek’s bitch. I pulled the door open and got my inhaler. I breathed in its air and while I waited for myself to calm down, I saw something. Inside my locker was a heart. Not a literal heart, but a piece of paper cut into the shape of one. Nothing was written on it and I didn’t find anything else inside. I turned the paper over and saw whoever made it glued glitter and plastic jewels to the other side. It wasn’t put on haphazardly either. It was packed together until it was like a broken mirror, sparkling in the fluorescent light.
“Who did this?” I said to myself as I moved the paper and watched it sparkle.
At first I thought it could’ve been Derek or his friends, but I never open my locker when I even think they could be around. I always make sure the hallway is empty. Sure, they could have picked the lock, but in all of the years of harassment, never once did they mess with my locker. I don’t think they know what my locker number is. Whatever they would steal from me was on my person or near my vicinity. They wanted to see my face while they fucked with me, messing with my locker wouldn’t accomplish that. Then I wondered if a teacher or one of my classmates put it in my locker. Maybe they saw how I was being treated and were trying to show some support. It’s probably far from that, but whoever put this here was at least trying to give me a positive gesture.
“Maybe it was a girl”—I smiled and put the paper in my pocket— “as if.”
On the walk home, I would take out the heart and look at it. It helped relieve the stress whenever I thought of Derek. Even now it helps. While I lay on my bed, I can’t help but take it out and admire it. It doesn’t beat having an actual friend, but it’s nice to have someone who is friendly with me. I wonder if they’ll put more in. Should I respond? I think that if they do, I’ll say thank you. I’ll write again if anything interesting happens or if I get more of those hearts.

• Samuel Lake

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(Hey, this is Thomas Sealock. I’m just here to say thank you for reading. I also ask for any criticism to be left in the comments. I appreciate any feedback on my story; good or bad. It took a while to write this one. I don’t know why because it was just two and a half pages long. Fun fact, I changed the date on the last post because October 10th is on a Friday and so I put it as the 8th so this post could be the 10th and I just realized I could have just put this post on the 13th and it would’ve been fine. I didn’t need to change the date on the last one. Oh my god…. Fuck it. I’m keeping the change out of spite! I’ll continue to try and make new posts that update the story on a daily basis. I have finals in May and I don’t know how long this will take to complete so I 'll see. Well, I’ll either change my post schedule (I guess that’s what we’ll call it “post schedule”) because of school or if I find that trying to make a new post everyday hurts the overall quality of the story and I need to take more time to plan out the next couple of posts. Thank you for reading this and have a good day.)

I'm trying to figure out a good splice lab setup I don't have a truck or trailer. I work for a small time contractor. I was thinking about get a ford transit connect cuz I find my self working alone and I don't know how long I will be working with him. So I figured something cheap do small modifications and be good. But looking for opinions.

Not sure if this is the right place for this so let me know if not -
so I had the appointment a month ago. It was to assess my likelihood of ADHD as an adult (22F). I also live in Australia. Not sure if relevant.
Anyway. The documentation that got sent to my GP was just enough for me to start/trial Vyvanse (30mg). But my GP commented that she kind of expected more information from him. She deals with other mental health patients, and ADHD patients specifically all the time so I'd assume she knows what to expect.
At the time it was only a week after the assessment so we thought we would wait. I only saw my GP a month later to check back in about how the meds were going and if I should continue - which I decided to do.
( Quick tangent, feel free to skip - on the meds I feel pretty good. Some of my habits are still terrible but I just feel so much more capable? Before I was so low on motivation all the time. I just thought it was tiredness, thought I was like, chronically sleepy or something. And irritible (because of the sleepiness). But now I kinda realise it wasn't really tiredness, it was a complete and utter lack of motivation, and a complete and utter incapability to be motivated. I feel better now. And I feel like I can apply myself if I try. I still ofc get a bit grumpy if I find the task annoying or boring - but like... I no longer have that constant feeling of "I should be doing something else right now". Its great ! )
Anyway, I got my repeat prescription and at the time asked my GP if any more documentation had been sent through from the psychiatrist. She said no, that maybe this is all the psychiatrist had, and that maybe I should call them up if I wanted more - that they could at least give me the forms I filled out, the DIVA, etc. History, and stuff.
So I called. They forwarded me to the booking coordinator for the psychiatrist in question.
This may be unrelated but when the booking coordinator picked up she was talking about booking me in with an appointment and sending me the charge and I had to be quickly like, no, please don't, I just had a question.
I assumed it was because she was busy. She said so herself that she had to go to a meeting in a few minutes as soon as the call started after all. So I don't think there's anything weird there... but it just feels a little weird in hindsight after what happens later.
So she told me to send an email through detailing what I wanted. I did. And I received a call from her shortly later and it was weird?
Its kinda a blurr since she talks fast - but she was saying that the email had been forwarded to the psychiatrist. And then also went onto say that he can rewrite the report (?).
She tried to confirm the purpose of my query and I told her - that like, honestly I don't know how these things go. I just wanted something a bit more cement, just more details about my assessment. I get mad imposter syndrome all the time and the fact my GP confirms that the psychiatrist didn't send much documentation kinda just makes it feel worse.
The booking coordinator also said something like I can go leave feedback for him on the website -which felt a bit jarring to me. I got worried that she thought I was angry or something so I just told her lightheartedly that I wasn't complaining I just was asking genuinely if there was more documentation because honestly I wouldn't know. I have never been diagnosed with ADHD before.
Even my previous "diagnosis" for depression only occurred after I had a break down at the doctors office and they were just like, yep, give her prozac. Which could be fine, I have no idea. Honestly the prozac worked for a good while so yeah.
Anyway, they probably won't get back to me until next week. That's all good and cheery, I wasn't expecting immediate action especially since its a Friday. But I am a bit worried now.
I honestly am fine if there isn't much more documentation from that one assessment. If I need to be assessed further then thats fine. I stated as much in the email, and the psychiatrist will get back to me on that, but...
Perhaps if I want further assessment, I wonder if I should see another psychiatrist? The whole encounter makes me feel a bit worried and now I wonder if I should get a second opinion from a different psychiatrist.
Just - if anyone can say whether this sounds like normal protocol? Or if anyone with experience in that area could say whether its sounds odd or not?
It could be that the booking coordinator was very stressed and worried and so she came off oddly. But yeah. I have no idea. Will likely discuss this more with my GP when I see her next.
Maybe the way the psychiatrist responds will alleviate my concerns, so will have to wait and see.

Hi, I bought a house recently as as everyone buying their first house, questions start to appear. Will the market go up or down? Did I make a good or bad choice? This is normal I know and I try not to worry about these things. I am confident I got a good deal and been working towards this for a long time.
My question is whether to repay more of the mortgage if I can afford it or invest the money. Currently the interests is 4.1% fixed for 10 years. That gives me peace of mind that I will not have any surprises.On the other hand interest rates could go down but if that happens I will reassess at that point. Or they can go up. Who knows.
I am looking of investing a small amount monthly with the target being at least the same time period. Or I can repay more towards my mortgage.
Looking at how the investing are going right now and based on previous years returns, do you think it is wise to invest or pay towards the mortgage? I think that any returns in the investment made will be taxed anyway so that might not make it as attractive vs repaying the mortgage faster. Thanks

There's a huge spider than ran into my closet and I can't find it. If I put towels around the door and the spider has nowhere to escape from, how long will it survive in there?

If you’re an older women and looking for someone younger to chat and maybe have relationship with don’t be shy send me a message I’ll gladly reply and hopefully we could have something together. I hope you enjoy some who looks very young too😅Ive been looking for someone who could make my life a little better and enjoyable with their companionship. I’m sure someone is out there who would love the feel the same I hope. But of course wed have to know each other a little more and see how we connect. I’m only 5’7” hazel eyes and curly hair. I enjoy working out so I’d say I have an athletic body. There’s a sorta picture of me on my profile if you’d like to take a peak at it :) I would love someone who has good communication and at least able to handle a good conversation. love doing anything really as long as we’re both having fun, laughing and enjoying life together I don’t mind what else we try for the first time. I’m a funny, caring, loyal and hard working guy there’s a few more words I would describe myself as but it’ll make this description a little too long I know many to like to read all of it. I would enjoy going out and exploring new places with someone but don’t worry so much if don’t like going out much I enjoy indoors just as much. There’s so much we could talk about if you’re interested and if possible sending a picture of yourself would be amazing but not necessary unless you want to show later I will do the same :) I hope to hear from someone… PLEASE BE LEGIT

My fiance and I bought a 87 Ford honey for a 1000$ it has less than 32,000 mi and it houses my self my girl and her huge pain in the ass brother. Mother in law has completely jumped ship and now tries to come up with every exuse why she did.
Where a tough bunch me (36m) fiance (36f) and shit head is (31m)
Unfortunately where all drug addicts and it's all about to go down...
So this lady pops into our lives about a couple months ago saying ”oh come stay with me I have plenty of property! It's all good.
We all know shit sounds to good to be true.
Where all from Imperial, CA so if you know the land you know we have an unbelievably hot summer lurching right around the corner.
Things got real and we had to take the offer. The night we show up was one of the worst nights I have ever experienced without breaking the law. I honestly wanted to just disappear.
The day we moved in, mother inlaw was with us. Thinking she can do what ever she tells me it's ok to get towed in her gate. So did brother and this lunatics cousin. It brings me comfort knowing that we might be ok.
Hell no. We land, the tow guy splits and all hell breaks loose. This lady comes screaming out of her hous telling me I need to get the f out and we all need to start pushing. It's in the middle of the night. Where all arguing about who and why the hell I'm parked here. With this lunatic we get absolutely no where. Tweeked I'm sure she only knows high volume screaming for communication.
We some how talk her into moving it in the morning...
We all wake up emotionally exhausted from the night before. Assessing all the damage, wasn't to bad. Shit we made it just about halfway out the gate before I cut it to hard and graze the fence. ( Little does she know)
We finally get it down the road to the very edge of the property. On egg shells we've been on since. The ups and downs this lady has are insane and rude. She's there sometimes, you can feel safe and then bam your about to get stabbed. It's very real.
So mom jumps ship from being connected to her kids by the hip for 36 years to here's 20$ see yeah. This is only getting harder.
I feel like I'm the only one trying at the moment. I feel like shit. Like every direction I turn has a spike strip waiting.
I hand write letters for the neighbors letting them know we should only be there for a couple days and I'm sorry for the inconveniences. Please have a heart....
No....fuck no.....the sheriff shows up...I'm at work making 3.50$ and my fiance is doing her best to steer this ship into safety.
She pulls it off. Idk how but she gets free. By the way our RV doesn't idle, it starts but wont stay on or go into gear. No registration or tags, we barely have a bill of sale.
So fuck being a nice guy.
We come up with a decent parking arrangement with crazy and she tells me to write up a rental agreement. Where supposed to give up our car for three months rent.
I have the tow ready but I don't wanna move until we sign some papers.... Idk if this is ever going to happen. She shows up all hours of the night telling us we moved random things in her back yard.
I don't know what else to do..... I'm sure I'm missing alot of the story, I'm sorry I'm exhausted.
If you have any kind of kind hearted words I'm all ears. Or if you wanna ask me anything I don't lie. Helps always helpful
The only thing that has been working is meditation and brain syncing.
Thanks for listening -joe

I have HA and one of my worst fears came true. My bf found out he has a rare genetic disorder that has a 50% chance to be inherited.
We're commited and planning kids in the future. I freak out over a fuckin cough and this is driving me crazy.
For me, the worst part is that my boyfriend is an absolute flegmatic and works on "don't think about what you can't solve" approach. I almost broke down when he brought the results home and he was just like... "We'll see what to do when it happens, it's not like there's something we can do about it" and then I saw in the report that they offered him an assisted reproduction option when we'll want kids and asked him if he'll want to go down that route and he said "Dunno" and it was obvious that he's not too excited about it". But, like, how can you even THINK about risking 50% chance of it being inherited by our child??? It drives me absolutely bonkers. Why would you even be willing to RISK it when there is way safe option that is not that natural but would ensure that we'll have a thriving, healthy baby? And especially when the other alternative is pretty miserable, both physically and mentally?
We've been together for years and at this point I know him. I know he only seems to not care because he has a hard time explaining and showing his emotions. I also know I am being terribly, terribly unfair towards him for feeling frustrated at him. He just found out something so crucial! He needs time and space to deal with it and he needs my support. Instead I am the one demanding emotional support from him (I am demanding it only here don't worry, I don't plan to freak out on him while he's going through this). I don't understand why I am being so selfish when usually I put others first automatically.
But most stress inducing thing about it is, he mentioned some of my health issues to the genetic center and now they want to see me too because they have "a small suspicion" that there might be something from my side too. Of course, I googled the signs of what he has and, well, I am not surprised they want to see me, I check all the boxes, even skeletal malformation.
What's keeping me sane is the knowledge that the disorder is incredibly rare and that neither of my siblings show any (obvious) signs of it. That in itself should logically be enough to reassure me that I am FINE, but my brain refuses to accept it. I feel like someone took me, stuffed me into a washing machine and turned on a turbo wash. And I want to scream.
AAAAAAAAAA
Whew, thanks you for letting me get it all out. I really need to find therapist again, and my man is coming with me this time.
Anyone has any experience with micro deletions in their family? Or has anyone gone through anything similar? How did you manage to calm yourself down while waiting for the doctors to set up the appointment/run the tests? I heard it can take half a year to get an appointment, and then half a year till they tell you your test results. How did you survive for this long with this uncertainty?

There are 3 significant things I would like to talk about regarding Orochimaru and his knowledge prior to the beginning of Naruto.

1. First, I'd like to discuss his ultimate goal.
2. Second, There is the first vessel we knew about, Kimimaro Kaguya.
3. Finally, I'd like to dive into the significance of the Curse Mark and it's similarities to the Karma Seal

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So let's start.
First, Since OG Naruto, we've know Orochimaru's goal was to learn every jutsu created and not yet created (all the worlds secrets). He realized his time on earth wouldn't be enough so he found a way to prolong his life via body transfers using someone called a "Vessel"
At first glance, It appears as though he just wanted to obtain the Sharingan to make his job of learning jutsu easier from either Itachi or Sasuke. But, we know he had Sharingan's from Shin Uchiha so it wasn't necessarily just to obtain the Sharingan but more so to obtain Uchiha DNA.
We also know he had Senju (Hashirama specifically) DNA from Kabuto, as Kabuto merged it with Madara during the 4th Great Ninja War.
Orochimaru's real goal was to obtain immortality so he could learn/know all jutsu's in the world. During OG Naruto there was a time the Rinnegan was just a rumor and it was believed to be the most power Dojutsu derived from the Sage of 6 Paths. There were many rumors about the Rinnegan and both eye dojutsu's (sharingan and byakugan) was rumored to have been a watered down verison of it at the time. Orochimaru must have wanted to try to recreate it.
With Orochimaru being as cunning as he is, I don't believe its far-fetched to think he found out that by mixing Uchiha DNA with Senju DNA you can unlock a Rinnegan similar to how Madara Uchiha did before he died the first time.
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Second, lets talk about the first vessel we got introduced to, Kimimaro. From his flashbacks, it appears as though Orochimaru just stumbled upon him and decided to make him his student after discovering his abilities.
Knowing everything we know about Orochimaru now, I can say that's quite BS. I believe Orochimaru went specifically looking for the "Last Kaguya Clan Survivor" or Kaguya Clan DNA specifically for Edo Tensei (as we know at that time Orochimaru had a beta type version of it not yet perfected like Kabuto's). Because we all know Orochimaru just doesn't select random people, all of them had a kekkei Genkai or something that made them special or unique.
It wouldn't be hard since they got genocided trying to attack the Village Hidden in the Mist, right around where he found Kimimaro.
What we know about the Kaguya Clan is actually quite alarming as well. They was a Barbaric-type clan that was obsessed with war because of the power they possessed. They acknowledged their strength came from a powerful ancestor who had bone manipulation abilities.
When a "chosen one" was born with said kekkei genkai, they was sealed in a cage until time came for them to be used. Not necessarily because they cherished there ability either, it was purely out of fear of said individual and the kekkei genkai.
I wouldn't doubt Orochimaru obtained that knowledge and was looking for a vessel with not only the kekkei genkai but the ancestry lineage as well. Orochimaru still preferred Kimimaro over Sasuke but due to his illness, had no choice but to stick with Sasuke.
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Third, we can get into the Curse Mark in OG Naruto. Originally, it was a technique created by Orochimaru to slowly replace one's own chakra with Orochimaru's Chakra as they use the seal thus preparing them for the body vessel transfer.
Sounds similar to another Mark we just got introduced to 7 years ago? That's exactly how the Karma Seal works but instead of replacing the Chakra, it replaces the actual DNA. But the question is, How did he develop such a technique and where did he get the inspiration from?
We know the Uchiha Tablets did fall into Orochimaru and Kabuto's possession and they were able to make an accurate hypothesis based on years of research but there was never an Uchiha using a body transfer jutsu. Now the problem Orochimaru has is once the vessel transfer is complete, The new body will start to reject him after a while. (Probably because he was re-writing the Chakra instead of re-writing the DNA) I think he purposely chose Chakra instead of DNA because he wanted to keep the Host DNA and Manipulate it to obtain a Rinnegan so it was purposely flawed.
Orochimaru was a scientist and historian and I think he knew about the history of the Otsutsuki's. He must have thought the So6P was a real person and could be walking the earth today using their Karma.
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This only leads to one thing, Orochimaru made his Curse Seal upon learning about the Karma Seal and his real goal was to become an Otsutsuki by absorbing the Akatsuki's Gedo Statue after they gathered all the tailed beast for him. He simply wanted to live long enough to learn everything including all jutsu's created and not yet created.
I think he wanted to get Sasuke's body to evolve his Sharingan into (EMS and then) a Rinnegan. He wanted to become an Otsutsuki and probably found out he needed a Rinnegan and 10 tails but changed his mind after he seen what happen to Kabuto, Madara and Kaguya.
Now we know this because it's the same tablet Madara had read and that's what he tried to do and ended up turning into Kaguya.
---------------------------------------------
But Kabuto broke the grounds for Orochimaru with his inorganic Reanimation jutsu (isn't Mitsuki made of inorganic material?) breathing life into nonliving things. What if Mitsuki is a product of the Sage Art: Inorganic Reanimation Jutsu? With Orochimaru's new knowledge he created Mitsuki using his own DNA probably mixed with others. He's probably still in a Zetsu body which probably increased his lifespan by about another 100 years so he can still do much work by then.
When you think about it, Orochimaru was the first Shiba lol. He been on that path to enlightenment for decades. I think everything ties back to him and he is going to be a person that helps Boruto in the future.

Far closer to the truth is that your higher self is a spiritual entity with a healthy appetite who signed you up for, perhaps, more courses than you wished that you had now that you are at least through at least half of your semester at school in the Earth school. There is one difference in this Earth school from all schools that you are familiar with, and that difference is that there is no requirement for you to make a grade. There is no teacher to set an arbitrary standard that you must achieve.
Rather, you are completely in charge of how much you wish to learn, how far you wish to take each portion of phase of each lesson. You may not feel that you have control, and this is frustrating. But we say to you that you do have full control over your incarnation. If you are too weary to move on, if that is the sense that you get at this point, then we say to you, lighten the load. Remove expectations from your own self and allow yourself to play, to be as the daisies that dance upon the wind, carefree and blameless. You do not have to learn today. You do not have to work today. You have to do only that which is in your heart to do.
When you become frustrated with the self, with the lessons, with the pattern, then it is that we encourage the lifting of the self from pain. And how is this done? For some personalities it is accomplished by moving into the silence, by going for the walks, the meditative reflective times. For other personalities it may be that the choice is to remove the self physically from that which is frustrating, turning the attention to others things. But whatever your personality, we suggest to you that the inspiration that lifts frustration is within you and within this moment if you can but allow the self to express its nature through your instrument. For you are not as you think you are, but, rather, you are a personality shell that distorts the love and the light of the one infinite Creator in just this and that way. You are an instrument. You are an instrument of a certain kind. You are a citizen of a world that you do not see. The great baffling thing about spiritual seeking is that you seem to be in one world, a world with sidewalks and chairs and furniture and cars and movie theaters. Yet in actuality, once you awaken spiritually, you are in a creation of energy fields and all of your work is upon your energy field, the vibration of that field and its dynamics when coming into contact [with] other fields of energy. Each person that you encounter has a field of energy, and you will interact with that energy in certain ways suggested by your distortion and the distortion of the other self. Ideas are fields of energy, and as you come into contact with them there are dynamics between the field of energy that is you and the field of energy that is an idea or an ideal quality that you may wish to pursue.
You are, as a spiritual seeker, in a universe of thought, of being, of essence. It will always be frustrating to live in two worlds, but it is just that dynamic that creates the fertile field for your acceleration of spiritual evolution. Know yourself to be ever on the path and yet ever at rest. Know yourself to be ever learning, yet always knowing. Know yourself to be ever striving, yet always having arrived at precisely the place for which the strife exists. Knowing the self, allow the self to be the self. Release and release and again release the self from the stricture of making sense, of coming up to snuff, passing the grade. Each release, each forgiveness, each new level of acceptance will bring its own inspiration and offer its own opportunities for transformation.
Source: https://www.llresearch.org/channeling/1999/0912 As always, the session offers more context. The question was “What words of inspiration would Q’uo have for those people who have been on the path of seeking for a long time? They are very familiar with their catalyst. They have seen it come around again and again. Maybe they are beginning to wonder if they are ever going to get anywhere with their catalyst. So we would like to ask Q’uo what words of inspiration Q’uo would have for people who might be getting a bit burnt out on the spiritual trail?”

Don't really need advise, just a place to share my pain. I have no idea if I am doing this right, but I could not find another sunreddit to share. Back ground story: may be very long, sorry, please be patient. When I was born, my parents had 2 children 9 & 10 years older. (boy & girl) sister was daddy's girl, until I came along. My closer brother was 13 months older then me. Then there was me, then my mother got pregnant with my next brother. Mom got very Ill during this time, so it was decided that 2 small toddlers were too much to take care of, so I was sent to live with my grandparents. Well, for whatever reason, my sister decided to tell me that "Mommy & Daddy didn't love you anymore, that is why they are giving you away." This devistated me. And my sister proceeded to torment me & tear me down for the rest of my life. As I grew, my father malested me. When I was older, I asked my mother why she let him get away with it. She told me that my sister told her that he was only doing it to make her (mom) jealous, so it was no big deal. As the years went on, our parish priest told my dad that what was being done to me would cause me all kinds of problem. My sister turned that around and for 60 years, she told everyone that Father R said that I was going to cause everyone all kinds of problems. When my sister & her husband was stationed in Japan, she & my mother corresponded by cassette tape. After mother died, we found the last tape where my sister told my mother that she needed to keep a closer eye on me because I was "doing" all the boys in the neighborhood. I was 13 years old. I was always trying to get my sister's approval & love, it was just not there. No matter what I did, it was always wrong. But her criticism was always passive aggressive so no one would know how she treated me. She would lie to me, then deny it to the family. Not blaming my sister, but I became an alcoholic. That just gave her more fuel for her fire. She convinced my other brothers & sister that I was not good enough to be a part of this family, so I was shuned. (I sobered up 35 years ago) A year ago, my health became very bad. Stress was not good, so I made the difficult decision to go NC not only with my sister, but with the entire family. As I became healthier, I worked on my issues, with all intentions of making MY amends with my sister. Well, 2 nights ago, she passed away unexpectedly. Other family members have reached out to let me know how much I hurt my sister. So, of course, the demons are in my head, making me wonder if maybe I WAS wrong to NC my sister. I do feel guilty, but mostly for not sharing my thoughts with her. That sadly, she passed away with many unresolved issues left to be taken care of.
Am I the a$$hole (is this the right sub?) if I choose not to go to her funeral? Already the others are making me feel (no, they can't make me feel what I feel, that is on me)like the a$$hole, so I want to protect myself from those new attacks. They don't understand why I did what I did. They don't understand that it was so painful to me because I always wanted her to love me, but she couldn't. Will I be able to ever turn this over, and let her rest in peace? I hope so. I still love my sister. And I will miss her terribly. But I knew at the time, that I had to take care of myself. Even if it turned out to be the last year of her life.

If you’re an older women and looking for someone younger to chat and maybe have relationship with don’t be shy send me a message I’ll gladly reply and hopefully we could have something together. I hope you enjoy some who looks very young too😅Ive been looking for someone who could make my life a little better and enjoyable with their companionship. I’m sure someone is out there who would love the feel the same I hope. But of course wed have to know each other a little more and see how we connect. I’m only 5’7” hazel eyes and curly hair. I enjoy working out so I’d say I have an athletic body. There’s a sorta picture of me on my profile if you’d like to take a peak at it :) I would love someone who has good communication and at least able to handle a good conversation. love doing anything really as long as we’re both having fun, laughing and enjoying life together I don’t mind what else we try for the first time. I’m a funny, caring, loyal and hard working guy there’s a few more words I would describe myself as but it’ll make this description a little too long I know many to like to read all of it. I would enjoy going out and exploring new places with someone but don’t worry so much if don’t like going out much I enjoy indoors just as much. There’s so much we could talk about if you’re interested and if possible sending a picture of yourself would be amazing but not necessary unless you want to show later I will do the same :) I hope to hear from someone… PLEASE BE LEGIT

Hello. I usually don't post things like this on the internet, but I just have too much stress on my shoulders and I really want to vent.
Oh where do I even start? I am a transfer student from a small, selective liberal arts school. I transferred in after my freshman year, and I'm a graduating senior.
I'm unmotivated to go to class and do my assignments. My grades are dropping year after year, I get A's on subjects that I'm really interested in, and barely passing some of the classes I'm taking., I'm talking about 1% above the failing limit. I submitted a paper 54 days late, and right now I'm projected to fail 3 of 4 classes if I don't take immediate action.
The past 3 years at UMass are meh at best, and hell at its worst. I've never been to bluewall, never joined any clubs. I've made about 4-5 "friends" that I say hello to when I see them irl, but I've never, and I'm talking about NEVER, been invited to do anything, including small stuff like going to lunch. I am always the one initiating things, and 70% of the time they don't even respond within a day.
I'm mega lonely at UMass. I'm not the same person I used to be. I lost motivation to do everything. I don't even want to go to class, because despite having a bunch of people surrounding me, nobody ever talks to me, and I've never made a single connection from my in-person classes. ZERO. It makes me sad that there are so many people around me and everyonr seems to have their own friend group and talk to each other about whatever's going on outside of class. And to clarify, it's not that I don't try. I do talk to people, but they don't seem interested. they don't even say hello the next time I see them. What has this world become? Why can't we even have the most basic human decency? All we think about is unwritten social rules, act normal like everyone else so you're not perceived as thirsty or not normal
I get sad whenever I see people hanging out, enjoying the sun outside with a blanket, laughing in a group, etc. I'm constantly reminded by how lonely I am. I want to be the one sitting on a blanket in the sun, I want to be the one throwing football with friends, I want to someday get a call from someone and hear something like "hey do you want to go thrifting?".
I know I can dream of any of those scenarios and not take action. Trust me, I've asked plenty of people to hang out, and I'm constantly being rejected. They're always busy. And even if they do hang with me, we don't really have the same interests, we don't really click
One of my old friends from my previous school didn't believe me, she thought that I'm just not trying hard enough, until I made 44 screenshots of me asking more than 10 people to hang out, get food, etc, and either get no response or get "nah I'm busy".
I don't understand why people don't respond to my messages. I don't get why I'm being treated this way at UMass. I feel like I'm so unlucky. I was so depressed at a certain point last year, instead of waiting 2 weeks for an appointment for a therapy session with UMass, I went to the writing center, hinted that I needed help mentally. They laughed at me and said "why are you coming to the writing center when you don't even have a draft", they also didn't empathize the fact that my paper was overdue by over 30 days.
To be honest, I'm not super unattractive and I don't have had hygiene. I'm not super nerdy, and I don't look like someone who has no friends. If anyrhing, I look like I put a lot of effort into how I dress and carry myself, and my online friend loves how I dress and told me that I should post fit pics on Instagram. Well, time to use a tripod I guess because nobody takes pictures of me. Also, it bothers me so much that I can dress well, but I don't have anywhere to go. What's the point?
I do sports. I go to the gym often. Many people recognize my face at the gym because honestly I'm quite good at what I do. I like to talk to people at the gym, when I'm playing basketball or whatever, I try to be nice and make light hearted jokes, only to be ignored most of the time.
Speaking of being ignored. I tried to apply to positions for clubs but never heard back from them. I try to post on Umass discords and I get ignored most of the time.
Right now the only social interaction I get is from online video games. I play video games way too much and I'm skipping classes and postponing my assignments to play video games. I'm not really addicted though, because I can stop whenever I want, I just don't have any motivation to do SCHOOL work.
2 semesters ago a camous police knocked on my door and asked me where my neighbor was, because one of my neighbors friends reported to the police that he's depressed, and needed a therapy dog. That made me really, really sad because 1. many many people like me at UMass are experiencing the same level of agony of loneliness, 2. nobody would even notice and reach out to me.
I think UMass really could do better. I've lived in 4 states and attended 2 different universities, and I can confidently say that UMass is by far the worst place I've been. Some people might have different opinions, that's ok, but we have to realize that there is a VERY BIG portion of the student population that has never left the state, or the new england area. I don't think Massachusetts people are nice at all. I don't think UMass students are nice and well rounded students despite me really wanting to believe otherwise, but I've been proven wrong time and time again by the things I'm seeing and the things I'm experiencing.
I need someone to tutor me. I need a study partner or something. I'd love to meet creative individuals so we can take creative pictures. I'd love to share the niche genre of music I'm into with someone who would actually understand and appreciate my taste in art. I'd love to have a training partner, I'd love to live my last 2 months at UMass feel real. I feel like I'm living in a simulation. I'm not ashamed to post this on reddit, even if you know who I am irl (doubt you do, but if you do, I bet you didn't know I have been depressed on and off for 3 years). I don't talk about depression to anyone. My old friends know that I'm quite a stoic person. I try to just suck it up and self improve. I improve, improve and improve, I try really hard but I don't see any results. UMass people treat me the same. If you know me irl thru my reddit profile, please reach out. If you feel the same way, reach out too.
I need help. I need your help. Try to start a conversation with a stranger tomorrow. Smile at someone. Don't use headphones for a day. Don't look at your phone when you walk for a day. Compliment a stranger. I want to feel alive again, and I want people like me to know that they're not alone.