Days inn breezewood pa

I'm 23f. Batch 2022. I was working for 9mos sa BPO industry in 1 company lang. I got promoted, too. But after few weeks of getting that bag there was a news na madi-dissolve ang account, something like that.
Fast forward this January 2023, 80 agents ang nareprofile, nawalan ng work. Tumaas din yung rate of absenteeism, AWOLs and resignation afterwards kasi tumaas ang calls and dumami workloads ng mga naiwan na agents. Before that happened nasa 300-400 agents tumatanggap ng calls. Pero nung nangyari yon, halos 80-150 na lang tao sa prod araw araw.
Hindi na din sila tumanggap ng new hires. Pagod na kami. Kung dati madali ka makakapag leave, ngayon patayan na kahit birthday leave. Tapos bigla biglaang magpapa-overtime.
I was promoted as a supervisor na escalated calls lang tini-take pero due to number of queues na inaabot 300+ calls waiting need namin mag front line. Nung una kinakaya pa naman pero mid Feb i felt the burnout. Sobrang hirap na pumasok sa work. They baited us free meals and such pero hindi kaya tapalan yung pagkawala ng passion sa trabaho.
All agents became mad about everything. Galit na lahat sa trabaho. Operations na lang yung masaya. That's why I resigned last March and last day ko May 26. Parang nabunutan ako ng tinik na di ko na kailangan pumasok ulit don. Nawala yung bigat sa pakiramdam na dala ko hanggang bahay. Amen. Best decision ever.

Dedelete ko na chat namin sa ig ngayon. It’s been days. He said he’s busy daw. Actually, naiintindihan ko yung part na yun. Minsan kahit buong araw or days wala kaming matinong usap or paramdam, okay lang. may kanya kanya kaming bagay na need i-prioritize pero langya sana naman wag iparamdam sakin na kakausapin lang ako kapag convenient sa kanya. Dadaain ako sa mabulaklak na salita pero hanggang salita lang.
So no, I’m over na. Buti nalang di ko pa siya sinasagot (manliligaw palang yan partida). Pero nakakainis, nagpakilala pa siya sa parents ko as manliligaw tas di papanindigan.
Ayaw ko ipagsisikan sarili ko sa taong di naman talaga ko gusto. Masakit, oo… medyo pero mas masaya ako na nakaiwas ako sa taong, hindi marunong manindigan at magpakalalaki.
Babush.

Me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago (dated for 2 years ldr) because of plans that fell through and reasons that we could no longer continue our long distance relationship. We sort of agreed to break up together, but my ex initiated it. We had been messaging each other here and there since then as "friends" I guess you could say, but it's been super painful for me and I was constantly asking her to come back to me. 3 days ago, I made a last ditch effort to ask her to be in a relationship with me again and work through these next few years we have to spend in a ldr together. She rejected me again, and I told her that although I wished the best for her and wished I could be there for her when she's down and needs someone to talk to, I may be too mentally weak to do that and would like to avoid talking to each other now. She agreed and then blocked me everywhere. Very few times, I feel like it was good that she blocked me so I wouldn't be tempted to reach out to her like before. But more often than not, I regret saying what I said 3 days ago so much and wish I would have just toughed it out until I finished PA school (one of the problems that led to our breakup) so that at least I could check up on her every now and then. She was going through a lot at home and mentally. I also realize that I am being selfish maybe for thinking this way and maybe I just want to be able to still reach out to her with the hidden motive of still being able to get back with her one day. It hurts so much now to actually lose her and not be able to talk to her ever again possibly.

First year college pa lang us and in the circle I belong in, walo kami. Originally there were five of us. Kasama na dun si "best friend." Ang una kong impression is mabait siya and friendly, but boy, was I ever wrong.
Best friend turns out to be lying about a lot of things. One of them is yung knowledge niya about playing the electric guitar and she said pa nga na apat ang gitara niya sa bahay, dalawang acoustic at dalawang electric. Since ako dakilang uto-uto, naniwala naman. I was amazed by that kasi biruin mo, a friend of yours, maganda na, matalino pa, marami pang hobbies. Now, keep in mind yung about this guitar thingy.
It all started here. February this year, nagkaroon ako ng happy crush sa isang senior high school student sa school namin. Nung Valentine's day, binigyan ko siya ng letter. I gave that letter to him para makapag-move on na ako. I was fearless sa pagbigay ng letter nun thinking na grade 12 and 18 na yung guy. This student, aspiring musician siya. Sumali sya sa battle of the bands nung first sem and kahit wala ako that time, based sa vids na sinend ng friends ko sa gc namin, malakas ang charisma niya. So ito na nga, after I gave him the letter, ready na ako mag-move on then, all of a sudden hinanap ng friends nung guy yung giver ng letter (ako). I didn't tell him the letter was mine and rather pinaabot lang thru me. Then ayun na nga medj nagkagulo na, and amidst that chaos, nawawala na talaga feelings ko sa guy kasi naiipit na friends ko into the mess i made, tapos biglang itong si best friend mo, naging crush niya naman si guy.
Ito rin yung time na she's having doubts sa relationship niya and she thinks her bf is cheating on her. Sinabi nya na kapag nalaman nya daw na totoo hunch nya hindi daw sya makikipag-break sa bf nya and gagantihan niya pa daw, mangangabit din sya. That's a problematic way of thinking, and I agreed na lang dun sa balak nya because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Akala ko happy crush lang kasi may bf itong si best friend at 4 years na sila. Nung una I was really supportive since alam kong sa school lang sumasaya itong si best friend kasi medyo magulo household niya. Pero this time, napapansin na ng ibang mga kaibigan ko na best friend is becoming a little too obsessive sa guy. In-add nya sa fb and ayun inaccept naman ng guy, and I could tell na happy si best friend dun. Then all of a sudden, bigla na lang din sya nakikinig sa music taste ng guy and she proudly tells us na icocover nya nga daw yung isang kanta nung artist na pinapakinggan nung guy. She posted her very first cover ng electric guitar after a major argument sa friend group namin. She thinks kasi na yung isa naming friend is nag-a-isolate pero sa kanya lang. Nung naayos na yung misunderstanding sa usap, she posted that cover as "for us", her friends. Ang post na yon is pic ng kamay nya na nakahawak sa electric guitar nya habang nagpeplay yung cover nya. Parang audio lang ganon tas may pic ng kamay nya.
After that, very vocal na si best friend about this crush of hers. Sa sobrang vocal pa nga, yung isang friend sa circle namin biglang nasabi na "uy may bf ka, ikalma mo teh" (non verbatim), tapos na-offend si best friend dun. I get naman my friend's point kasi nga may bf ka tapos sa ibang lalaki ka mababaliw. And then, nalaman namin na grade 11 pa lang pala itong si guy, and 17 years old pa lang. Mature na kasi sya tignan. Tapos itong si best friend syempre hindi tumigil, grabe magpapansin sa fb, at magka-chat pa nga sila nung bata. Tapos nag-post ulit siya ng cover ng good 4 u. This time, natugtog na din siya. Nag-post din siya sa story nya ng cover ng dangerous woman. Both of them, electric guitar covers. Then days after, biglang nag-story si best friend na sinira daw ng papa nya yung mga gitara niya dahil sa "anger issues" nito. So i comforted her, and consoled her. She thanked me for it pa so I felt special.
March and April came, unti-unti nang lumalayo loob ng most friends ko kay best friend, had no idea why. But I sticked with her kasi i cared for her and I don't want to make her feel na mag isa lang siya. Tapos may isa pa kaming friend na sumasama so bale tatlo kami na magkakasama na sa months na nabanggit. Tapos one time, after school, nagpunta kaming tatlo sa coffee shop malapit sa school namin. Dun na nag-rant si best friend about sa sinasabi ng rest ng circle sa aming dalawang kasama niya. And I had to admit, sobrang napaniwala niya ako kasi ang galing niya magkwento. Sinabi nya pa nga nun "may sinabi sila tungkol sakin, gaganti ako, sasabihin ko rin sa inyo mga pinagsasabi nila." I even asked best friend pa nga na pano nila magagawa yun, naging vulnerable sila sakin and kahit papano I know their struggles. Sabi ni best friend, facade lang daw yun.
So sobrang devastated ako. Hindi ko pinaniwalaan agad sinabi niya kasi kilala ko mga kaibigan ko kahit papaano may morale naman sila. So the next day, kinausap ko si Matcha (not her real name), one of my friends sa circle ko to ask if what best friend said was true. Umalis muna ako sa tabi ni best friend nun and we had a talk. Sabi ni Matcha, malalaman naman daw niya kung may sinabi yung iba kong friends tungkol samin kasi vocal naman kami lagi at open sa communication. Pero before that, may pinakita sa akin si Matcha na dalawang videos. Those two videos, ARE THE SAME VIDEOS na pinost ni best friend as "her covers" to impress her crush na musician. She cropped and edited the tiktok videos tapos pinost nya as her own.
Later that day, pinakausap ako ni Matcha kay Vey, isa pang friend sa circle namin and I asked her myself if totoo ba yung sinabi ni best friend. So i did. Now, imagine my surprise when Vey said na hindi totoo yun at wala syang sinabi na ayaw niya ako kasi OA ako. Vey was angry sa lie na sinabi ni best friend, and she was so offended. Unti-unting nag-iba ang tingin ko kay best friend. Turns out, may sinabi at pinupuna rin pala siya hindi lang sa kanila, pero sa akin din. i don't want to elaborate on it any further kasi lalong hahaba, but very mean things yung sinabi sakin. Ngayon na hindi na namin sya kasama, I'm really appalled na by the thought na binackstab nya yung mga kaibigan ko knowing well na she did the same to me and wala akong idea dun.
Ito pa, sa sobrang pagka-obsessed ni best friend sa g11 na musician, bukod sa pagpopost ng covers for clout, inistalk niya lahat ng kamag-anakan ng bata. Ofc habol niya pictures. Pero late ko na na-realize na that was creepy. I was manipulated into giving her my sympathy. I think she took advantage of that kasi sa circle namin ako yung pinakamabait, caring and understanding. I felt taken advantage of.
Right now, sem break namin, lilipat na ako ng school this academic year while the rest of my circle, best friend, and the g11 guy na incoming g12 are gonna stay in that school. Alam na ng halos lahat sa klase ang ginawa niya, hindi lang kami nagsasalita. I just hope she learns her lesson na, pero sabi ni Matcha, she doubts na matututo pa siya if ganun ang ugali niya. She can live her life with our one friend na nag-iisang sumasama sa kanya. I loved her as a friend and I cared for her, but now all of it is gone. Bahala na ang Diyos sa kanya.

Hi guys! Need some advice lang. I'm currently 23 and working as a Customer Service for 2 years now and this is my 2nd job. The good thing about my job is work from home sya and the salary is ranging from P38-P40k/month (depende sa palitan since US-based yung company). Although walang benefits dahil contractual lang kami and but meron pa din naman kaming 13th month and PTO plus bonus na yung walang micromanaging and mabait yung TL.
For context: Yung company namin is humahawak ng iba't ibang brands and nagpoprovide sila ng mga agents offshore and domestic. For offshore, chat and email lang yung trabaho namin however, yung client kung saang brand ako ngyon ay nirequest na mag transition into phones ako and hindi ako maka hindi dahil baka bigla akong alisin.
3 months na kong nagte take ng calls. Usually 8-15 calls tine take ko per day dahil di pa peak season. Ang problem ko lang kasi ngayon is wala man akong additional pay for my additional job and nakita ko yung rate ng domestic agents sa website nila is $13/hr while I'm still getting the same rate of $4.60/hr.
Di ko alam anong nafi feel ko (lungkot ba or selos haha) pero yung ibang offshore agents sa ibang brand ay ka rate ko pa din while only answering chat and email.
Now, I'm planning to shift into Data Analytics and nag aattend ako ng free bootcamp and at the same time nagte take ng free online course. Personally, gusto ko na din makaalis sa call center industry dahil sa night shift and naaapektuhan talaga health ko.
Should I follow my gut na mag take risk and do a career shift? Di naman ako magreresign agad but will find a job while working.
Thank you!

King’s Landing The Day After The King’s Feast

Blunted swords rang against each other in the early morning, ringing out into the rousing city alongside the idle bells of first prayer.
Two brothers were hard at work honing the skills they had earned at Seagard, circling one another upon a courtyard of radial mosaic tiles. Long shadows cast from nearby buildings were only partial respite for the spring sun rising on the horizon, confining their only observers to the periphery.
Morden had bound one hand behind his back, forcing him to wield the cumbersome longsword with one hand alone. His brother had no such limitations, bringing a sword and shield to repel his assaults and punish his twin’s mistakes. Perhaps he had grown accustomed to the featherweight of Valyrian steel, or the evening’s trials left him fatigued, but neither were cause enough to bid them rest.
From the comfort beneath the inn’s pavilion, their mother afforded the occasional glances, but was largely engrossed in a reading. Her lady-in-waiting, Maegelle Celtigar, had been given the task of orating The Dances of Dragons, A True Telling. Meanwhile, she busied herself with a wide fan to keep both the heat and the stench at bay.
All eyes, save their reader’s, idly turned on Morden when he attempted to circumvent his twin’s defenses again. He wielded the sword akin to a spear, thrusting low and high, probing for weakness as the blunted weapon was bashed back continuously. Ser Morden’s persistence made Lady Mordane narrow her eyes furtively, curious to see if he had some other game afoot. All the while, Morden had not broken eye contact with Ser Owen a single time.
They danced in a slow circle, never giving an inch, yet the affair was over in an instant. Morden’s gaze flickered, Owen followed it, bringing his shield to bear to a spot his brother had no intent of striking. With a turn of his wrist, Morden changed the feint into a single clean blow to the side of Owen’s head, the flat side of his blade slapping his neck.
“Dead,” Morden declared, with no triumph in his voice.
“Deadady-dead-dead,” Owen agreed, with a faint tension in his voice. His brother had struck fairly hard, “Well-struck, brother.”
“Well-guarded,” Morden answered with a thin smile. A bead of sweat rolled down his pale forehead. He set his sword aside and did the same with his twin’s. The brothers retreated to their mother’s side to parch their thirst.
“Where are our sisters?” Owen sighed, half-emptying his waterskin over his face and spitting the rest to the mosaic tiles, “We’ve been at this for hours.”
“Unroused and hungover,” Mordane replied with a vague disappointment, but spoke more carefully to not obstruct her lady-in-waiting in her reading. Meredyth returned having taken her fill of the feast’s offering, red in the face and bemoaning her aching limbs after hours of unrepentant dancing. Myranda had been sullen and morose, with the weight of some self-inflicted ghost hanging on her shoulders.
To think these were her eldest children, when she and her eldest son had tortured a man to death just hours ago, and now sat just after sunrise with only the barest creature comforts.
“Rosamund?” Morden queried further. Mordane visibly rolled her eyes, and gave her hand a rest from fanning herself.
“What else?” Lady Banefort replied, clicking her tongue, “Playing ambassador in the city.”
“She forgets herself,” Ser Morden answered flatly, “She was… errant during the celebrations.”
“She is young,” Lady Banefort said tersely, almost scoldingly, “To be young is to be mercurial. She will only be a maiden for so long, just as you were only boys until the day you left for Seagard. I’m starting to believe you forgot to do the same…”

Hi guys! Need some advice lang. I'm currently 23 and working as a Customer Service for 2 years now and this is my 2nd job. The good thing about my job is work from home sya and the salary is ranging from P38-P40k/month (depende sa palitan since US-based yung company). Although walang benefits dahil contractual lang kami and but meron pa din naman kaming 13th month and PTO plus bonus na yung walang micromanaging and mabait yung TL.
For context: Yung company namin is humahawak ng iba't ibang brands and nagpoprovide sila ng mga agents offshore and domestic. For offshore, chat and email lang yung trabaho namin however, yung client kung saang brand ako ngyon ay nirequest na mag transition into phones ako and hindi ako maka hindi dahil baka bigla akong alisin.
3 months na kong nagte take ng calls. Usually 8-15 calls tine take ko per day dahil di pa peak season. Ang problem ko lang kasi ngayon is wala man akong additional pay for my additional job and nakita ko yung rate ng domestic agents sa website nila is $13/hr while I'm still getting the same rate of $4.60/hr.
Di ko alam anong nafi feel ko (lungkot ba or selos haha) pero yung ibang offshore agents sa ibang brand ay ka rate ko pa din while only answering chat and email.
Now, I'm planning to shift into Data Analytics and nag aattend ako ng free bootcamp and at the same time nagte take ng free online course. Personally, gusto ko na din makaalis sa call center industry dahil sa night shift and naaapektuhan talaga health ko.
Should I follow my gut na mag take risk and do a career shift? Di naman ako magreresign agad but will find a job while working.
Thank you!

this is the topic na I can't just open to anyone cos im a strong independent mushroom hahaha so here you go hahahahaha😂😝
parang all my life aral-bahay-work grew up with a kuya so im used to doing the same activities up until now same circle kme umabot sa point na we were on a trip and snama pa nla ako sa strip club (they cant leave me kc dun sa cabin room kc mukhang sketchy ung caretakers)
lalo pandemic came, tlagang aral and work nlng ngayon since most of my friends are married/taken so busy tlga mga go to person.
im goal fueled naman tlg like aiming to finish my post grad na hopefully ths year or nxt and also getting a 3rd PRC lic. I cud say na im set na kaya I realized na yeah I thnk ito ata tlga! na im destined to live a life of solitude.
going back to 2019:
ung mom ko nagagalit palagi pag uwe ako ng late to thnk na ang kasama ko ung work-bff ko. she's suspecting na may smethng kame! so I had enough! me: Ma! 28 nako patawarin bkit may curfew at di kme! we're friends and para mapanatag ka, HINDI AKO MAG AASAWA!!! ok?
and up until 2020 nag asawa na c friend kako sana mapanatag kna Ma! hindi ako magkaka bf!!! tho im dating people at that time, malas lng tlg ako.
nauulit ung scenario: Me: Ma, di ako mag aasawa Mom: Gago! Me: lols
bonus info: at 28 we are sharing a room like mind u we have 6 bedrooms.
I did a silent protest for a month, we didnt talk, I didnt eat anythng frm the house and I go home late like 12am onwards. then she said ok! she'll move.
para sa magsasabing: ure old na freeloader kapa! guys, ako ang ayaw palayasin (unica hija/alalay problems)
again para sa magsasabing: choosy ka siguro! etc. I had suitors back in d day lols, pero juicecolored ung back story gustohin m nlng mamundok kesa to end up with them.
ok going back... my good friend and I were talkng then she said "wala pdn tayo nggng bf noh?"
me: gagi san galing yan? hahaha tanggap ko na, and besides u had a gf (she's bi) naman so ok k na.
her: haaay but still, when kaya? ano ths yr noh let's try!
me: pwede naman, hmmm onga pala! im on my last yr sa kalendaryo No bf snce birth padin 😂
like what I told my online friend… before I live the life as an oldmaid 😅
I have this “what it’s like” list in life :
*What it's like to have a bf?
*What it's like to receive a bouquet of flowers? ung hnd galing work (pag guest speaker😅), ung galing tlg from an SO. ung former ligaws kc I got stuffed toys and food.
What it’s like to HHWW? 🤣 *old soul
*What it's like to get a meaningful hug and a kiss sa forehead whle telling me "everythng's gonna be alright" whle going thru a lot of stress that u know someone's there to cheer u up🥹?
*What it’s like being taken care of?
eto ung mga what ifs lang naman lahat naman cguro may kanya-kanyang lists. but generally im happy naman im in a good place and safe, naglabas lang ng saloobin hahahaha
so update:
She texted me... her: gurl! tatanda na tlga akong dalaga me: samedt
my mga random sumpong talaga sya lol

PENNSYLVANIA: About a year ago, I (21m) purchased a truck from a very well known (and certified) dealership in my area. I traded in a Chrysler 200 touring edition and started the process to finance a 2018 Ford F150. The F150 was a newly purchased used vehicle at the dealership. After going through all the financing and putting my money down, the used car dealer told me they didn’t have the title for the truck yet and that they would send my new license plate via mail in a couple days. Without my knowledge, they took my Chrysler 200 license plate and put it on the truck with no temporary tag. 6 days later I got my plates ran by a PA state trooper; he pulled me over and was fully convinced that it was a stolen truck. I gave him all of the paperwork that the dealership gave me, but still got taken into the station in handcuffs. The next morning I called the dealership and explained what happened, and the lady said they have had the plate for a couple days but still made me come pick it up. Help!

I’m still stuck on this comment one of my classmates made to me in our first month of school. I’m in PA school (kinda like med school but we learn probably about 70% of what doctors do and we do it in 2 years and work mostly in primary care) and it’s a lot of pressure. I’ve always used the testing center in undergrad and now here because I know that’s just what I need to do well. I need to sit in my little cubicle, away from everyone, and with no chance to see anything in front of me or around me. And it’s fine I still do really well in school and I pass all my classes, it’s just something a little extra that I need.
Our first semester one of my classmates asked where I was during the test. I told him oh I go to the testing center it just works really well for me for my ADHD and test anxiety. And he said to me that I had to get over that because I can’t be a good medical provider with ADHD. He also let me know that he overcame his ADHD when he was a kid so it’s possible.
You spend 3 minutes with this dude and you know he didn’t “get over it,” I’m just saying.
Anyways we are in our third semester now and guess what fucker is in the testing center because his “ADHD came back” and he’s failing multiple classes. And then he has the nerve to tell me wow it’s so nice in there I should have started going there in the beginning. And I just sit there and smile because at the end of the day I don’t want any of my classmates to fail. It was extremely hard getting in to school and it’s very expensive so I would feel sad if anyone else had to drop out cause we’ve already had four people get kicked out. But I still can’t forget how he treated me in the first semester. Karma is a bitch.
(I’m not really seeking empathy, I just wanted to share and didn’t know what flair to pick)

Going to Anvaya with my friends on Saturday and I’m looking for a potential plus one. We are currently 3 girls, 4 guys and 1 gay guy.
We can pretend to be long time friends naman basta yung di obvious na we just met 😂 ofc you’d have to pay for your own share din. We’ll all be coming from QC pero if u’re near Anvaya na, u can just go ahead if you have a ride or daanan ka namin pero idk pa kasi the final plan for transpo.
For now, i’d like to focus sa potential plus one muna. Don’t worry sfw ito and I will respect boundaries naman! Day trip lang naman ito anyway.
No preference sa schools, I’d want someone na marunong makisama and not weird/pacool 😂 plus points na lang if pwede kita ipagyabang or if we find each other attractive HAHA we’re mostly Ateneo graduates , 1 UP graduate and 1 DLSU graduate for your reference na rin.
Descriptions about me can be seen in my previous post if you’re curious. Feel free to ask questions! Please send an intro of yourself and let’s swap pics na rin 😊

There's a post here a couple of days ago. About the worst part of being single. I can relate.
Another thing about being single for years, that made me anxious a bit hours ago, is receiving gifts or things from the opposite sex.
I got used to buying stuffs from my own money. I make sure the things I buy and own are of quality to ensure they last for years. The fulfillment to buy the things from your hard earned money, that you thought you could never have back when you're a kid, makes me teary-eyed pa sometimes.
If i receive gifts from friends, at the back of my mind, i ask 'why?' during birthdays, i rarely receive gifts. So when i get one, it's a default question why I'm receiving a gift.
More so if I'm told that they'll give me this or that. Or buy me this or that.
I don't ask for anything in return if i help a friend. I tell them a thank you would suffice. Or 'pay it forward'.
Sometimes i feel that i haven't even done enough to receive anything. That i only did the bare minimum which is underserving for any rewards or gifts.
If i get in a relationship, i wonder if my first response upon receiving a ring would still be "Why?" Lol
I pray to God and tell him how I'm grateful for having met people whom he's using as instruments for me to be better and for me to be surrounded with kind and generous ones.
But at the back of my mind it's probably the child in me wishing to be acknowledged, recognized, rewarded. Possibly jumping high to be seen and noticed.
Yes, probably that's it.
*or baka dahil fertile week ko lang at emotional ako ngayon, lol

[LONG POST AHEAD]
I am a psychology student at isa sa mga pinakacommon na concept na alam ng isang psych student ay kung ano, sino, at kung paano ka magbehave ngayon, malaking factor niyan ang childhood mo.
One month after the biggest heartbreak (yet) of my life happened. Ngayon, medyo okay na ko. Konting kurot na lang since nagmomove on naman ako but while crocheting, biglang pumasok yung thought na to sa isip ko: di naman magiging ganto kasakit kung di ako naattach agad, at naattach nang sobra sa tao. One year and four months din naman kami but I admit, I got attached with him right away. Days after we first talked. Then here comes the question: bakit ba kasi ang dali kong maattach?
Going back to the first paragraph—it's all because of my childhood experiences. I just had a sudden realization na kaya ang dali-dali kong maattach lalo na sa taong nagpapakita sa'kin ng care, love, and gentleness is because I wanted to experience all of that when I was still a child. My inner child wanted to feel the genuine affection from her parents. She just wanted to be loved. Gusto niya lang naman maramdaman, in a gentle way, na mahal siya ng magulang niya. None of those happened. Pinalaki siya sa palo, kurot, harsh words, pamamahiya sa mga kapitbahay—you name it. The usual "disiplina" ng mga magulang natin noon. The kid inside me never even experienced being hugged by her parents. Mas kilala niya ang palo at hampas kaysa sa yakap. Kaya ngayon, pag may nagpapakita sa 18 to 22-year-old me ng affection, ng pag aaruga, ng gentle love, ng suporta, kind words, naaattach agad ako. Kasi yun pala. Yun pala yung hinahanap ng inner child ko. Gusto niya lang naman makaramdam ng pagmamahal ng magulang kaya ngayong tumanda na siya, hinahanap niya sa kung kani-kanino.
Gusto ko nang tuldukan ngayon yung paghahanap ng kalinga ng batang ako sa ibang tao. Bilang parte ng moving on at overall healing process ko, I know I need to heal my inner child first. And now, thankfully, I know where to start.
I wanna hug her, the kid inside me, and tell her that she didn't deserve any of those. She didn't deserve the pain that pushed her to have a matured mind at a very young age. She didn't deserve that because she was still a child. I was a child. I wanna hug her and tell her I'm sorry because along with her parents, I was harsh with her, too. I hated her for being weak, when in fact, she has every right to be weak. She didn't have to be strong. She was a child. I wanna hug her and tell her na starting from now, the 22-year-old version of herself will take care of her, gently. Sorry for looking for gentle love sa ibang tao, kiddo. Nangingibabaw kasi yung angsty teenager ko na galit sa sarili niya at sa mundo.
Tong 22-year-old na babaeng to na ang magbibigay ng pagmamahal dun sa batang naghahangad at naghahanap lang naman ng kalinga. Ako na bahalang magmahal sayo, sa sarili ko, kahit paunti-unti, para hindi na natin hinahanap pa sa ibang tao. Para hindi na masakit pag naiwan na naman tayo, kasi wala na naman tayong source ng pagmamahal. Pagtapos kong patawarin ang sarili ko at iheal ang inner child ko, saka ko naman susubukang mapalapit ulit sa mga magulang ko. Patatawarin ko na lang, galit pa rin kasi yung angsty teenager ko sa ginawa nila sa batang ako. Pero narealize ko lang din na baka akala kasi nila tama yun dahil yun yung posibleng naging way ng pagpapalaki rin sa kanila. Baka di pa uso ang gentle parenting nung 1972. Saka isa pa, first time naman ng nanay ko maging magulang non sakin. Si papa naman, laging wala kasi nagttrabaho para mabuhay kami, ako. They tried their best naman. Nasaktan man nila ako nung bata, pero nakikita ko namang nag-eeffort sila para buhayin, pag-aralin, at palakihin akong mabuting tao. Saka isa pa, sila yung umalalay sakin nung mga panahong iniiyakan ko yung lalaking nang-iwan sakin. Laking tulong din nila sa moving on process ko. At saka, di na sila bumabata. Senior citizen na papa ko. Baka imbis na maghanap ako ng lalaking pagbubuhusan ko ng pagmamahal ko, sa magulang ko na lang dapat ibuhos. At baka gaya ko, ng batang ako, kailangan din ng magulang ko ng kalinga at taong yayakap din sa kanila, ng taong magpaparamdam sa kanila ng "gentle love".
Stay put ka lang, my inner child. I'll give you the love and gentleness that you deserve. (Kayo rin, Ma at Pa, hehe.)
Medyo magulo ata pagkakanarrate ko. Pasensya na. Ayos lang, random rambling lang naman. Wala lang. Baka kung may makabasa man nito, may marealize din kayo. Gusto ko lang din ilabas, hehe.

I hope this isn't dumb or obnoxious. I'm a recent college grad and just starting working on some productions: I got back from working on a TV show as a PA a week ago.
I've applied for a few more gigs since then. One of the jobs is in a couple weeks (and I'll be free) and it for 7-8 days, but it's a "production assistant" job for some modeling show. It's not a television or film. I guess my question is, would this look bad/weird on my resume? Right now I'm trying to take as many jobs as I can so I can build my resume while producing some of my own stuff, but this isn't a film/TV job but it's labeled a PA job?
Thanks for any feedback.

Sa 6 years natin isang beses ka pa lang nakapunta sa birthday ko, yung time na pumunta ka pa sa kwarto ka lang nagstay at di na nakipag halubilo sa family ko.
In that 6 years mabibilang lang sa kamay lahat ng time na pumunta ka samin. And thankful naman ako don cherished lahat ng panahon na yun, kung alam mo lang. Kahit family trips/vacation wala ka pang napupuntahan kahit lagi kang iniinvite.
Nakaka sama lang ng loob na sa work mo of 3 years nakaka gawa ka ng paraan sa mga invites sayo, and next week mag ccaramoan kayo ng 3 days. Tapos this weekend nagyaya ako na pumunta ulit samin tapos syempre no nanaman.
Alam ko namang introvert ka and you're not prone to social stuff pero di ko talaga maiwasang isipin yung kung ayaw may dahilan kung gusto may paraan. And you've clearly shown you're priorities and nakakalungkot.
Ewan ko ba parang di ka naman determined o motivated na makilala pamilya ko. Tas kung iraise ko man to sayo ako nanaman yung nammressure at yung hindi makaintindi.
Hay wala lang aasa nanaman ako sa gamot at alak para makatulog ngayong gabi dahil sa sama ng loob.

I encountered most of my colleagues forced me to say sorry even it's not my fault. Like pag manager or management naka overlooked ng schedule and they tend to blame or displaced their hot tempered sa subordinates. Most of them it's like norm na, na sila nagsosorry just to end the conversation. So one of the manager told me that i know to communicate but I don't know how to say simple sorry. So as psych major and HR having huge patient to various people. Thus, i decided to understand na lang din their feelings baka pagod lang sa work or dahil manager sila mas malawak responsibilities nila hayst at the end of the day kahit managers tao pa rin sila, tao pa rin tayong lahat :)