She held her breath as the clinker nosed onto the island. It was barely more than the size of two houses, covered in tall grass and reeds, but she hadn’t set sights on it for its size. It was hard to tell, so far from the coast, but it did not appear to have the sloping beach of a sandbar island, and even seemed to drift gently with the wind, as would their ship if the oars were docked. If she was right, this was one of the wandering islands.
Her grandmother had told stories to all the children of the village, of her own time on fishing voyages aboard the longboats, and of finding a wandering island herself. Assembled through the will of a powerful spirit, wandering islands were as much life as land, imparting some of the lost vigor of the first generation unto the soil and allowing it to again wander the lakes.
To weather the night here may not seem practical, small as the wandering islands typically are. But the spirits of these islands are kindly if offered due respect, and always protect those who sleep on their backs. And to return to the village with such a story… when she too became an elder, she could regale the next generation with her own story, not just the one she carried from her grandmother.
She teased the land with one foot, and finding it solid hauled herself over the strake and onto the land. It bobbed slightly as it took her weight, and she felt her heart soar as the remaining crew disembarked behind her. As some of their number began fetching the poles and reed mats that would make their lean-tos for the coming night, she watched one of the oarsmen reverently offer a prayer to the ship-shrine, before taking a pinch of sacred ash from the urn within. He took slow, measured steps to the center of the island, before beginning his observances to the spirit who would watch over them that night.
She almost wished she could help, but this was his role, and a spirit prefers to commune with only one regardless. He scattered the ash into the grass of the island as he shook a small chime, two strings of small shells tied on both ends to a T-shaped stick, and filled the quiet air with a gentle percussion. She could not hear his prayers; they were silent after all. But she could witness his devotion in his bearing, and imagine the honor he felt at getting this chance.
It felt strange to see the wild shrine rituals without a shrine, or even an urn, but in truth it would be impossible to erect a shrine here. The proper observances could not be carried out should the island drift and never again be found. To build a shrine, a promise to a spirit that could not be kept, would be a cruelty that the village would not be forgiven for. Perhaps they would instead leave some of the reeds they carried, shredding their mats the same way old thatch is returned to rot in the marshes, for even a spirit powerful enough to set an island adrift must respect the cycle of death and rebirth, and could make use of their gift.
But for this night, they and the spirit would share a kinship, and they would depart on the morrow with a story and a blessing.
​

The Zonowōdjon

The Zonowōdjon (families of the lake, originally from family.lake-ɢᴇɴ), also known to call themselves simply the Wōdjon, live in the coastal forests and shallow hills along the shores of the southern Titonean lakes. They comprise a collection of small villages, most constructed within reach of waterways with access to the lakes, if not on their very shore. More than anything, the Zonowōdjon are united by their animistic practices and sense of shared identity through language, as well as their predisposition to fishing and wetlands forage over the paddy agriculture predominant elsewhere in Tritonea.

Subsistence, Industry, and Lifestyle

Agriculture practiced by Zonowōdjon is more akin to horticulture. Long domesticated crops of the region such as zizania have made their way into Zonowōdjon hands, but large dedicated irrigation systems are largely not in use. Opportunistic replanting of common forage goods is frequent, typically in gardens just outside the circle of houses. While a fair amount of village labor is tied up in the planting and tending of these gardens, they do not provide a majority of Zonowōdjon caloric intake. Rather, the quantities of vegetable matter their relatively small population sizes demand are served well by a mixture of forage and horticulture, the former seeing many villages built within reach of the freshwater marshes where their most harvested good, cattail, is found.
Cattail is employed for a variety of purposes, both culinary and industrial. Young shoots and narrow leaves are consumed as vegetables, while the root is harvested seasonally, dried, and processed into flour. Tubers found in the root system are also consumed as a vegetable, as are the immature flower spikes. The bast fiber of the stem is processed for use in textiles, as are the leaf fibers, though the former are more productive and make up a greater share of Zonowōdjon textile goods. Lastly, the stems are harvested whole for the production of wicker, thatch roofing, and reed boats.
Beyond cattail, Lotus is commonly foraged for use as a vegetable, particularly its root. Nuts, fruits, and herbs also comprise a major element of Zonowōdjon food culture, though many are sourced exclusively from forage. Wild alliums are the most prevalent aromatic the Zonowōdjon harvest, while cranberries are one or the more prevalent fruits, used both fresh and dried in cooking. Hemp, both foraged and gardened, serves as a secondary source of textile fiber, and its seeds are heavily employed in cooking. Oil is pressed from seeds and nuts, with pecan being the most common source, but is not produced in great quantities by the Zonowōdjon themselves, and some oil comes by trade with their more agriculturally developed neighbors. Lastly, mushrooming is a major tradition among Zonowōdjon, comprising a significant portion of their diet during seasons when mushroom forage is plentiful.

Fishing

The true backbone of Zonowōdjon subsistence is fishing. Fish, shellfish, and crustaceans are caught through a mixture of open-water net fishing, sunken basket traps, river and stream weirs, and manual forage for shellfish in shallower waters. Crayfish are one of the most common catches in the basket traps and are prized more as a delicacy than a staple food, while larger fish from open-water fishing comprise the bulk of seafood by weight, and enable villages closer to the lake shore to grow larger, and their descendants to found new villages more frequently. Both canoes and wading fishers deploy seine nets and cast nets.
The development of more sophisticated nets, the need for more hands to operate them, and the weight of increased hauls have all driven the development of Zonowōdjon shipbuilding significantly. While traditional reed boats and birchbark canoes are still frequently employed, particularly in rivers and streams and for more coastal operations, open water fishing trips make use of larger and far more sophisticated sewn-plank longboats with proper oar locks. Even large villages may only have one or several such boats, and their construction and maintenance is a significant expenditure of labor and point of clan pride. Crews on these boats often leave their village for days at a time, camping on small islands or distant shores. The reed-mats used to construct their temporary lean-tos are carried on the ship itself, chosen for their low weight. These larger longboats typically manage drop nets, though they may also be used to deploy seine nets with the aid of smaller outriding canoes, as the longboats are better able to transport a large catch.

Cuisine

Zonowōdjon cuisine centers zizania, cattail flour, and fish as staples. A common preparation of fish involves slicing the fish crosswise and stewing in an aromatic and seasoned stock. Both the flavorful broth and the flesh of the fish are fully consumed, with the aid of a lumpy flatbread produced from cattail flour. A flat stone atop a stone tripod, constructed above a fire, is the main method for production of flatbreads. Fish may also be dry roasted whole or sliced, with seeds and herbs pressed into the flesh if it has been sliced first. When catches are in excess of what can be consumed, which is common for coastal villages with longboats, fish will be smoke-cured for preservation and hung in a store hut. Smoke cured fish may still be cooked in a broth as above, or eaten as is. Regardless, at family meals it is common for older family members to pick the flesh of the fish from the bone after cooking is done, and distribute it to those younger than them. Another common dish is zizania pilaf, cooked in a thinner stock than fish. This dish often includes dried fruits, nuts, root and vegetables, and sometimes smaller seafood like shellfish and crayfish, with what is included owing more to seasonality and availability of forage than strict recipe. One more dish of note is a vegetable fritter, formed with shredded leaf and vegetable matter, mixed thoroughly with cattail flour, water, and seasonings before being fried. As oil production is marginal in many Zonowōdjon villages, this forms a less frequent component of the diet, but as a result holds a certain prestige. Ceremonies such as weddings, feasts when hosting representatives of other villages, and spiritual observances and festivals are more likely to see production of fritters. Notably, a vegetable fritter is a common burnt offering at shrines due to its status as a festival food.

Architecture

Villages are typically constructed of permanent dwellings. All buildings are single-storey, and roofed with cattail thatch. Most buildings are single room, and constructed of wattle-and-daub between upright wooden posts, though additional standing posts may support the roof in a longhouse. The clan patriarch lives in a longhouse, which may also be used as a storehouse and hold clan shrines. Cookstoves and fires are typically built outside during fair seasons, shielded by low reed mat walls and thatch lean-tos, though they are often moved to interior firepits during cold weather. Flooring is predominantly woven reed mats, which are easily pulled back to expose bare soil should a fire be constructed inside. Some homes feature bunk beds constructed flush with the wall.
A village never contains more than three clans, and most frequently consist of only one. Houses are generally communal sleeping spaces, so many villages contain few buildings, and some may be devoted entirely to stores. Houses are generally arrayed so that all doors face the center, which is a beaten earth area free of plants and used for celebrations and ceremonies, as well as being used daily for the practice of industry such as processing cattail and weaving. Doing daily labor indoors is frowned upon during fair weather.

Tools

The Zonowōdjon make use of knapped stone and jade tools, reed wicker baskets, hemp or cattail-fiber sacks and ropes, and primarily burn wood for fire. Western obsidian infrequently permeates Tritonia through trade, so many villages are able to make use of obsidian knives, and some use obsidian in jewelry as well. Shells and bone feature prominently in jewelry and ornamentation, and shells are also the primary material used for shrine chimes. Wood carvings are frequently used for ornamentation, particularly on shrines, and those chimes which are not shell are often carved wood. Wooden chimes that can create clear ringing tones are particularly prized, and make auspicious gifts to other villages. Stone-tipped spears are the most common weapons wielded by Zonowōdjon villagers, though clubs with a flat wooden handle and a setting of a fist-sized smooth stone are also common. Obsidian is rarely used in weaponry.

Spirituality and Mythology

The Father Moon is seen as the shepherd of souls and the patron of reincarnation. He is also the father of men and fish, and fish scales are said to shimmer like moonlight on the surface of water because of his blessing within them. Moonbeams contain souls of the deceased returning to the world both as spirits and to enter new flesh, and the Father Moon travels to the edge of the world every night to collect those souls that have traveled the dark rivers beneath the earth to reach him.
The Mother Sun is seen as the patron of flowers and plants, particularly the cattail. Filled with both warmth and rage, she begat the first life in the world, but cares little for the cycle of souls overseen by the Father Moon after the two generations she directly birthed died or otherwise left the lakes.
T’sawayda is a psychopomp and the mythological ancestor of the Zonowōdjon. They are depicted both as a giant man and an enormous fish, or with elements of both such as the head of a pike on the torso of a man. They are a member of the Zonowōdjon third gender, leaning to masculine expression, and are a member of the second generation of life. They are seen as the first of the second generation to climb from land to shore, and thus their descendents are all the Zonowōdjon. T’sawayda urged all their descendents to reap the Mother Sun’s bounty on land, but stay close to the shore to partake of the Father Moon’s bounty. T’sawayda is said to now make their home in the depths of the lake, with one door of their longhouse opening to the waters of the lake, and another to the bank of the dark rivers beneath the world. They find and guide lost souls, such as Zonowōdjon who die on the water and risk becoming demons, freeing them from their flesh and offering them hospitality before sending them on their voyage to reunite with the Father Moon.
Zonowōdjon believe the world is full of spirits, souls without constraining flesh who embody much of the natural world or protect those within it. There are believed to be local spirits both of locations, such as hills, marshes, and groves, as well as spirits to things within, such as the spirit of fish in a given marsh, or the spirit of a particularly ancient tree. Further, all villages and even most permanent buildings have venerated tutelary spirits.

Shrines

The core of Zonowōdjon spiritual practice is composed of maintaining shrines and holding public festivals. Shrines are dedicated to a local or tutelary spirit, with the latter also often seen as an ancestral spirit from a member of the clan in that village. For those spirits within buildings, a shrine is a simple as a clay urn which bears a pictorial representation of the spirit, into which offerings are placed. For spirits of larger areas, a shrine is constructed, usually from wood, either sewn or assembled through joinery. These shrines contain the urn which venerates the spirit proper. Most shrine urns feature a lid, often a wicker lid which is replaced annually during the vernal festival observances. Shell chimes are often hung from the roof of freestanding shrines, should there be enough clearance, or from poles erected around the shrine or the boughs of nearby trees. Similar chimes are held and shaken by shrine tenders during their observances, whether or not a shrine itself bears standing chimes.
Spirit urns often contain permanent offerings, with obsidian, bone, shell, and jade beads being common. Beads may initially be on a string, but the burning of offerings often leaves the beads free within the ash. During festivals and days of spiritual observance, offerings of food are placed within the urn. Offerings in distant shrines may be permitted to rot, but typically the offering is burned before being placed within the urn. Should an urn break, the shrine tender is expected to go into a period of grief and observance, and produce a replacement urn before interring the shards at the base of the shrine. Beads and other permanent offerings are transferred.
With the small population of most villages, a single man may be expected to tend multiple shrines, but the most important shrines may have a single tender. The clan patriarch is seen as symbolically responsible for the shrine to their clan’s guardian spirit, and the patriarch leading an entire village for the village spirit’s shrine as well.
Clinkers, the prized sewn-plank boats used for open-water fishing trips, hold a similar importance to homes, and thus contain a shrine. Typically the shrine is a small cavity constructed in the prow of the ship, containing a spirit urn. It is commonly believed that new ships are guarded by the returning spirit of an ancestor, so placing family ash or even bone shards within the shrine urn is often part of dedicating a new clinker.Souls are believed to descend to the world starting on the full moon, so dedications of new homes and boats are usually practiced on the night of the full moon, that the soul of an ancestor might find the shrine and become a guardian for the new structure.

Creation

All the world was one lake, stretching to the ends of the world, and no souls lived within it. Thus, the Mother Sun and the Father Moon came together to cast the first life to the earth. The first life was enormous, and as it died, the massive corpses divided the world into smaller lakes. The Mother Sun was grieved, but tried again. The next generation was composed of smaller beings, but the world was still unable to bear their weight. Most voluntarily climbed to the sky, becoming stars, though some today choose to return to a world that is too small for them, creating disasters that terrorize the third generation. The third generation was the last attempt, and still lives upon the world, birthed by the giants of the second generation before their exodus, but blessed with life by the sky. After so many generations, the seed of the Father Moon was spent, and he went dark for the first time. It is only when many of the third generation died their first death and returned to the edge of the world that the Father Moon gathered them back to himself, and once again began to shine. Thus, the Father Moon became a shepherd of souls, gaining and losing his light as the cycles of death and rebirth flow.

The Afterlife & Funerary Practice

The Zonowōdjon do not believe in an afterlife as such, but rather in the eventual return of souls, though some may claim the dark rivers of the underworld amount to some form of hell or purgatory. The Zonowōdjon believe that the soul resides in the bones, and is constrained by the flesh. The soul must sink into the Earth to travel the great rivers under the Earth to its edge, where it will be gently collected by the Moon after a long, dark voyage. Souls embraced by the moon are returned to the lakes in the form of gentle moonbeams, souls ready to find new life. Souls of animals likewise find themselves returned to the lakes by the Moon. A soul may become the new guardian spirit of a home or village, or find itself embodied in a new human life. Those souls who return as tutelary spirits are particularly venerated, and it is believed that important ancestors return to protect the homes, boats, and villages of their descendants. Conversely, a soul lost in the dark rivers who never returns to the moon may find itself twisted by the dark, and eventually claw its way up through the lakebeds as a demon. Demons may also spawn from a soul trapped in the darkness of its own dead flesh, a fate seen as especially common for those lost to the waters of the lake. Thus, prayers for the deliverance of the missing to the Father Moon are common.
By far the most common funeral practice is cremation, as it is believed the soul cannot be liberated while flesh still encases bone. After a cremation, bones often remain. Many villages maintain ossuaries composed of shallow earthen mounds beyond the circle of homes in which bones are interred, sometimes alongside carvings, clothing, or even jewelry. Smaller villages without ossuary mounds have simpler burial grounds further outside of the village, with skulls alone being instead interred at the foundation of family dwellings. In both cases, carvings may be made on the forehead of an intact skull before burial, and a shrine urn decorated to match, in hopes that the soul of the deceased will return to grace the village as a tutelary spirit. Some ash from every burial is placed in the spirit urn of a family home, some in the village longhouse, and often distributed to important shrines of the region surrounding the village, with the latter being obligatory for those who served a particular spirit. Remaining ash is stored in a communal family urn, and on the construction of new homes, some ash from this urn is ritually placed in a small pot or basket which is buried at the foundation to consecrate the ground, and allow the descending spirits of ancestors to find and protect the site.

Culture and Gender

Zonowōdjon clan names are matrilineal, but the ruling structure of clans and villages is more patriarchal, with each clan having a patriarch who serves as both the face of the clan, and the arbiter of important decisions. However, there is a strong cultural importance put on the opinions of elderly women, who hold a similar social importance to clan patriarchs as the retainers of oral history. They wield de facto authority in villages, especially those containing multiple clans. Most villages contain 1-3 clans, with one clan’s patriarch holding primary authority, extending from their role as the face of the village when meeting with outsiders or people from other villages.
Gender roles are not particularly strict among younger individuals, especially the unmarried, with only clan patriarchs and village elders taking on especially gendered roles. Both men and women participate in fishing and forage, as well as cooking and food processing and preservation. Older women tend to perform most weaving, as it is a position of some prestige that does not require them to leave the village. A major exception is during mushrooming seasons, when elderly women are trusted to identify safe forage, and often leave the village alongside the typical younger foragers. The main gender differences observed are that it is seen as a more womanly role to plant and tend a garden, while it is seen as a more manly role to perform observances and burn offerings at a shrine (though at major ceremonies, it is still elderly woman who recount myths and tales for those in attendance, while a man performs the actual shrine observances).
Zonowōdjon culture also observes a third gender, though it is mutable and can express as leaning to either male or female gendered expression based on the individual. The Zonowōdjon believe the third gender to be an expression of the returned soul of another life in a differently sexed body. Visibly intersex children are always identified as belonging to this gender, but individuals who are not visibly intersex may also find themselves identified through other means. Commonly, showing early aptitude with reading the stars is seen as a sign that a child is of the third gender, as is a child showing both interest and aptitude in the weaving usually practiced by elderly woman. Regardless of birth sex, members of the third gender identified in this way tend to lean to some feminine aspects and gain some of the prestige granted elderly women, while those identified by their intersex characteristics tend to lean masculine. Members of this third gender are respected, but not particularly venerated. A member of the third gender can be a shrine tender, just as a man might, and participate in any labor, but are usually seen as beyond the institution of marriage and thus live their lives unmarried.

Festivals

There are several seasonal festivals observed by the Zonowōdjon, though precise timing varies heavily from village to village, with each usually choosing a phase of the moon, timed from the start of a season, to begin and end observances. Most festivals are multi-day affairs, With each day being dedicated to the observance of one particular god or heroic ancestor. Typically only one day features a full feast, and while spiritual observance happen on every day, the last day of a festival week usually sees a large communal observance. For multiple festivals, the decoration of the village is an important observance. Slender cloth drapes hung from the roofs of buildings and the boughs of trees mark the largest vernal festival, while wreaths of zizania stalks and cattail reeds hung on walls and poles mark the autumnal zizania festival. Some festivals call for decorations to be placed on poles erected in the common areas. While for some villages these poles are a temporary fixture, in other towns they remain year-round, but only feature their festival decorations during the week of observance and otherwise remain bare.
A major feature of several festivals, including the zizania festival in autumn, is circumambulation around a temporary shrine or ritual fetish constructed in a village center. Though circumambulation is practiced elsewhere in Zonowōdjon spirituality, here it persists for as long as two hours, described as beginning as the sun sets and ending when the moon is fully ascended to the sky.In addition to festivals, many clans have other non-festival observances. It is a common practice for most families to forgo the eating of fish on the new moon, and to fast during the daylight hours of both half-moons.

Techs

Key:

• Celestial Navigation

Main:

• Drop Net
• Sewn Plank Boat

Minor:

• Fishing Trap: Sunken Basket
• Hand Fishing Net: Cast Net
• Hand Fishing Net: Seine Net
• Oar Locks
• Smoke Curing

Hi lovelies! Trigger warning!!!
Last week I was driving home from a double funeral when i was looking on the Mecca app for something to help cheer myself up and retain my level 4 beauty loop status. Because i’m sooo dedicated to Mecca i was distracted and i caused a 3 car collision, whoops! 🤣
Luckily almost everyone survived (thankful 🙏) so i think i deserve to spoil myself! My GoFundMe only raised $700, so not quite enough to get the DDG mask but i’m pretty close. On an unrelated note i think the MCC mods are so generous and kind and my address can be found on my Mecca member account.
Can anyone recommend something cheaper that gives the same results as the LED mask? Something travel 🧳sized 🤏as i’m 💁‍♀️flying ✈️ to Europe 🇫🇷for a month 🗓️ and i’m on a 💰💰💰budget.
i’ve added a photo for reference. Note, the bandages aren’t from injuries related to the car crash, I just got a full mummy makeover (hash tag self care, right ladies?) did i mention i’m a tired mother? of a really sick dog.

Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/13sxdo9/i_accidentally_joined_the_mafia_in_south_brooklyn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
These last few parts have taken a lot longer for me to write than I thought. A lot of shit has gone down in the last two months, and a lot of it, frankly, is kind of a blur. But I figure, if you've stuck with me this long, then you deserve to know how it all ended up so I'm going to try my best to remember every detail of what happened.
Me? I've spent every free hour I've had, just lying in bed. I've got a lot of healed wounds that still hurt me pretty damned badly.
Blood loss from multiple gunshot wounds and then drowning in the East River, dying and then being brought back while still human, incidentally, takes a lot out of a guy.
But… I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Where were we, again?
Oh yeah, that's right. The funeral without caskets, inside of a Ukrainian restaurant just off the boardwalk in Brighton Beach. That's where I left off at.
()()()
Antoni's corpse and I had spoken together for a while longer, about Beccs and their baby, actually, sitting there in the floor in front of the three empty bathroom stalls. The next moment, as usual, he was… just gone.
It took a while to slow the bleeding, and it took even longer to try and clean myself up with just hand soap and paper towels and the water from the sink. Nobody came into the bathroom again, and as I left, I saw why. There was a sign on the door that read 'Out of Order' with something printed below it in Cyrillic that I imagined probably said the same thing as the English.
My new winter coat had been left on the floor in front of the door and the Emergency Exit at the end of the hall had its alarm disabled and had been left propped open with a brick.
I took that as a clear message that they didn't want me rejoining the party, so I exited into the alley and sat on a milk crate chain-smoking until 2 PM when the funeral ended.
The weather app on my phone said it was 10 degrees outside, but oddly enough the cold air felt soothing on my bruised face. My eyes were nearly swollen shut, and every now and again I had to pull some of the toilet paper out that I'd stuffed in my pocket to wipe another trickle of blood from my nose when I sniffed a little too hard and moved the clots loose.
At 1:57, I started to hear people exiting the restaurant, so I moved onto the sidewalk to wait for Becca. The people leaving the funeral only glanced at me for a second and then looked away with a bored expression, like I wasn't even there. Finally, only Becca and Toni's immediate family were still inside.
Tatiana gave Becca a hug, Igor, a gentle handshake, and Antoni Sr. bent down, cupped his hands around Becca's face and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. I could see that his right hand was bandaged and he was holding it straighter than his left. Good. I hoped the fucker had broken it when he'd punched me in the jaw.
As Becca exited, I could tell she was angry even before she stomped over to me and shoved me three times in quick succession. Like Jimmy, Becca was a lot stronger than she looked, but now I knew why. I couldn't do much but ball up and take the hits.
"Where the fuck did you go? You just took off and left me there by myself. 'He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye if he had a choice.' You knew, you cocksucker, you knew, you knew he was dead!"
"Yeah, I knew! Antoni was in the news. But we gotta get the fuck out of here, Beccs, you're making a scene, another one, and I gotta get outta this neighborhood before something worse happens to me."
The high color of anger in her cheeks dropped away immediately into a pallid white. She'd been so pissed she'd never once registered the state of my face.
"Jesus Christ, Tony, what the fuck happened to you?"
"Your little Polish sausage's Daddy Dearest just beat the fuck out of me in the men's bathroom, that's what the fuck happened."
"Why would he do that?" Becca asked, but I didn't answer. She looked back to Skovorodka, following my gaze. Antoni Sr. was still standing there, just inside the front door, watching me with narrowed eyes, his hands folded neatly behind his back like a soldier at ease. It reminded me a lot of how Antoni used to stand while we were waiting for the train together.
"Fuck," she muttered, then "Shit," and grabbed me by the arm. "Come on."
"Why would he do that?" She asked me again as we climbed the stairs to the train platform.
"Antoni was Mob, Becca, Bratva. His whole goddamned family is. Him and his brothers and his father and his fucking Russian uncle, and I'd say your Mama Tatiana probably isn't in the dark about what her brother and her hubby and his sons do to make a living, either. I don't know why the Zabrowskas were on the Avenue, but suffice to say it was probably for nefarious reasons, and Jimmy found out about it and took care of business.
"Only I don't think he realized exactly who he was taking out at the time he did it, or else he never would have put the body in the River for somebody to find. And then the other three showed up to avenge their brother, only two of 'em never made it past Bianchi any farther than Antoni did."
"The fuck are you trying to say?" Her tone says she already understands just fine and doesn't want to.
"I'm saying your dear sweet Mamma killed your boyfriend, Becca. She removed all the identifying marks from his body, ate what she wanted, then pulled all his teeth out and chewed off his hands and his feet. They dumped the body in the East River and they found him about 5 days ago, floating off of Battery Park."
"Oh God. That's why. I asked Tatiana where Antoni was going to be buried and she told me in the public cemetery on Hart Island. They're not claiming the body because they don't wanna go to the cops. For the last week I been cussing him for everything he was worth, and he's been laying in the fucking morgue." She pressed her hand to her mouth, and I saw her bloodshot eyes filling with tears again.
"Please don't cry, Becca, cause I'm gonna start crying again and I've cried enough for today."
She sniffed back her tears and swallowed hard.
"But I don't understand, Tony, what the fuck does that have to do with you?"
"They knew, Beccs, they knew how the Zabrowskas died, who killed them, and they knew I helped Moretti get rid of the bodies afterwards. That's why Antoni's father went after me. The uh… the fucking Pakhan thought Jimmy sent me there to rub it in their faces that they weren't going to be able to bury any of their boys."
"How the fuck would they know that?" She barked at me.
"Somebody's feeding them information and not some asshole on the street, somebody from inside the Camorra."
"Who would do that?"
I saw her eyes darting about wildly as she tried to think of the answer to her own question.
"I don't know, uh, the driver that brought Moretti, he didn't look like he was too fond of Bianchi, maybe he's a fucking option."
"Frankie? I mean, him and Ma have never gotten along. He's never liked her and the feeling's mutual but… that doesn't make any sense, Frankie's always been loyal to the Camorra. Rossi always said he practically muttered the Omerta in his fucking sleep, that he was a soldato down to the bones."
"I have no idea, Becca, but it gets worse," I said quietly. If it didn't hurt so goddamned bad, I would've squeezed my eyes shut.
"How the fuck could it possibly get worse, Tony?"
"First you gotta promise you're not gonna hit me again."
Her hand balled into a fist, and I couldn't help but flinch.
"I'm gonna knock you the fuck out right now if you don't stop wasting my time, Cipriani."
"I sold her out, Becca. Bianchi. I told them where she lives and how to find her tonight."
"You what!?"
"I had to! He was gonna cut my fucking fingers off, and I don't know if he was going to take all four or just three but I wasn't about to fucking find out. I kind of need those fingers seeing as I'm a fucking southpaw!"
I held my left hand out to her, curled my fingers inward, but the third finger just… stayed straight. "Ah, fuck, I didn't even notice that."
"Jesus Christ, the tendon's been cut," she whispered, and when she pressed her hand to her mouth again she looked less like she was swallowing back tears and more like she was trying to swallow back vomit. I couldn't really blame her. I felt pretty nauseous myself.
"You know, I'm, I'm not worried about Ma," she said, finally. "It wouldn't be the first time somebody's tried to take her out. She's harder to kill than they think."
"Would, uh, would cutting her head off work? Cause if so I think they're already pretty aware of how to get the job done. They… they know Bianchi's not human, Becca."
Her face got paler, if that was even possible, and her eyes were the size of saucers.
"This is a goddamn nuclear disaster. Jesus fuck."
We stood the last few minutes waiting for the train in silence. As the doors slid shut and we sat down, Becca began laughing wildly.
"So you're in hysterics for real, huh?" I asked.
"You're gonna have to forgive me, I'm a little slow on the uptake today, but I just got it, Polish sausage… only, he wasn't little, you know, he was hung like a fucking horse, and it's a goddamn tragedy for women everywhere that the man isn't on this earth anymore. And he knew how to use it, too. Best sex I ever had in my life… only sex I ever had in my life, but that's not the fucking point." A short, barking sob tore out of her.
I groaned. "You know, that is way, way more information than I ever wanted to know about you and Antoni's sex life. You couldn't, uh, you couldn't let that one pass by, huh?"
"I never pass up the opportunity to make a good dick joke. And he had Good Dick."
I laughed and regretted it as it tightened muscles in my stomach that were still a little angry about being used as Antoni Sr's personal punching bag.
"Touché, Miss Rebecca, touché."
"The two-faced bastard, I gotta give the motherfucker that much, you know, it's a uniquely personal way to say Fuck You to the Underboss, getting his teenaged daughter pregnant. I am so, so goddamned tired of being a pawn in other people's games. He's lucky he's already dead or I'd kill the bitch myself," she whispered.
"It wasn't a game, Becca, what happened between you and Antoni," I whispered back. I knew because Antoni's corpse had told me as much. "Don't ask me how I know, cause I don't wanna talk about it, but it wasn't a game. You didn't know about him and he didn't know about you and it was a big, fucked up coincidence. You loved him, and he really, truly loved you... he worshiped the ground you walked on." Actually, he had said he worshiped the boots she walked in, but I figured it was a translation issue. "It was a regular old Romeo and Juliet: Brooklyn Edition."
She squeezed her eyes shut, snorted and at the same time choked on another sob.
"Yeah, but Romeo and Juliet ended in a double suicide, not a murder and a single mother." Her tiny hand went to her mouth again, and she wasn't able to hold back the tears this time. "I miss him, Tony, I miss him so fucking much."
"You know, Beccs, I miss him, too." I miss him when he was alive, not looking like a walking nightmare, and talking my goddamned ear off half the time, but I wasn't about to tell her that. "He was the first friend I made down here."
"It's fucking stupid. I still remember every single thing he said to me those first few times I met him."
"Odd as it is, I do too, Beccs. He was that kind of guy, I guess, he didn't have to work hard to make an impression on people. It was, uh, three days after I moved in, I think. I was in the basement, getting ready to do my laundry that morning, fighting with the stuck knob on that machine down at the end? And he walks in with his clothes basket balanced on his hip and reaches past me and just… turned the fucking thing, like it wasn't even stuck to begin with. 'It has an attitude, but it likes me,' he says, and I say, 'I can see that.'
"And he, he told me his name. 'Zabrowska,' he says, 'Antoni.' And I laughed and said, 'Nice to meet you, Toni, I'm Tony.' 'Really?' he says, and I say 'Yeah. Really. Antonio Alessio Gioele Cipriani, the third, if you please.'"
"Goddamn, that name is painfully Italian. No wonder you tell everybody 'Just call me Tony,'" Becca snorted.
"Thank you, Miss Rebecca, I can assure you I didn't pick it myself. But, 'Ah,' Toni says and kind of taps his hand in the center of his chest, 'Junior.' And I laughed again and said 'Our parents were goddamned creative when it came to the baby naming, right?' And he laughed, too, and shook my hand.
"And uh, a few days after that he showed up outside of my apartment and asked me if I wanted to go watch a game with him and his brothers at the sports bar down the street. It was Poland vs Korea. I still don't know shit about soccer, I've always been more of an American football kind of guy, but I did learn quite a few Polish swear words that day. Apparently they'd all bet money on the home team winning that game."
"I bet you did. Poland kept catching red cards that whole game. I bet on Korea, of course, and altogether I won 8 grand from four extremely pissed off Polish dudes when we stomped their ass all over the pitch. I had no idea how seriously the four of them took soccer. Antoni wouldn't even talk to me for three days. Probably didn't help I made an ass of myself laughing at all of them. Course, I woulda bet more if I'd known they were good for it. Dry cleaners, my ass," Becca spat.
"Well, in Antoni's defense, he probably did work at a dry cleaners like he told us, just like you work at a bodega, and Jimmy and me work at a restaurant, and Pops works at a hardware store. We all got day jobs. You know, I hate to bust your balls, Becca, but did it… never occur to you to ask Antoni if the tattoos meant something?"
"No," she said weakly. "I mean, I knew they were prison tats but Jesus Christ, half the people I know have been to prison. You've been to prison, half of my cousins have been to prison, hell, Pops has been to prison. You weren't here then, but all of 2016 to 2020 I was wearing a 'Free Rossi' t-shirt everyday, a lot of people in this neighborhood did. Ma got him off on the Murder 1 charges but numbers are numbers, and she couldn't get him out of the Tax Evasion. But I figured, if Antoni didn't wanna talk about it, then it was none of my business what had happened before we met each other."
She'd minded her own business a little too hard this time.
"What did you and Antoni talk about, Becca?"
"Everything! And anything, and nothing, all at the same time. He'd complain about living with his brothers, about Misiu always leaving hair all over the bathroom, and how Ciech always left sugar all over the kitchen counter after he made his coffee. And I'd complain about having to pick up all the empty bottles of makgeolli after my Dad in the morning. I'd help him wash all the dishes his dirty ass brothers would leave piled in the sink, and fold everybody's clothes.
"We got along well, me and Antoni, we were actually very compatible, we were both neat freaks when it came to our housekeeping. We even folded our towels the same way. And he'd bitch about how Igor could never balance the register correctly at the end of the day, and I'd bitch about how my Dad never checked our invoices correctly, and I was always having to cuss out the distribution reps for shorting us on our deliveries myself.
"And we'd watch TV together. He always made fun of me for the lame ass old Chuck Lorre sitcoms I loved to watch, and I'd make fun of him for all the stupid cop dramas he watched, every Law and Order known to man, and Blue Bloods and shit. We just… talked to each other, like we were two regular people, just living our lives. It was simple and it was easy, and it was enough, it was goddamned enough for me. Our relationship was the one normal thing I had going in my fucked up life."
She cracked at the end, sobbing brokenly. She turned her head to the side, pressed her face into my bicep as she wrapped both arms around mine. Tears filled my eyes, as well, and now I was wiping snot out of my nose as well as blood. I felt goddamned sorry for the kid, and I felt like she had a right to cry, but I had to distract her, for my own sake.
"So tell me, when was the first time you talked to Antoni? Was that the same day he asked you out?"
"No, there was some time between the two. He'd been there about a week, I guess, after they moved in. They got there back in like April. I'd fucked with him the first day, you know, asked him where the hell the accent came from, and he said Poland, and I told him welcome to America cause I felt like being a dick. And he said that he'd already been in country five years and I laughed at him and told him, goddamn, I couldn't tell cause he still sounded like he was fresh off the boat. And he got this look on his face, like he was trying to decide if he needed to be offended or not, so I told him I was just fucking with him, that he was doing better than my Mom, God rest her, cause it was seven years after she got here from Seoul before she even learned a word of English and my Dad was the one that had to teach her."
"Makes sense. I moved in in June, Toni mentioned he'd only been in the building about two months hisself."
She nodded, I could feel the movement in the sleeve of my coat where her cheek was pressed to my arm.
"Him and his brothers started coming in every day after that and you know, I kind of had my eye on him from the first time I talked to him. He was goddamn gorgeous, quite literally the walking definition of 'tall, dark, and handsome.' He had those incredibly blue eyes, and that fucking accent, man, shit put me in knots everytime he came in. I learned them all pretty quick, and Antoni was easy. He got the same thing everyday, box of Newport 100s and a pack of Russian Cream Backwoods with a large slushy. You know I gotta keep the cups behind the counter because motherfuckers'll fill it up and walk out when I get busy. I saw him when he came in, and went over to the ATM, so I had his shit sitting on the counter waiting for him."
Becca had a talent for memorizing all of the regular's orders, it wasn't unusual to see a long line of cigarettes, blunts, medicine, sometimes even crack pipes and Chore Boys, and anything else she kept behind the counter, set up neatly next to the register. She also had a talent for running both registers at the same time when the line got overly long and she was there alone. Sometimes I had no idea how she kept up with it all, but that was just Becca.
"And this drunk asshole came in, right after, he didn't even belong in the neighborhood, he stayed in Bed-Stuy, but he was with his cousin, and his cousin I knew and he was shooting me apologetic looks so I was already on guard. I was in a bad goddamn mood that day, anyway. And the drunk bitch, he walked over to the bathroom and tried to open it."
"Key's behind the counter," I said, and she nodded.
"And the key costs five dollars cause people make a fucking mess in the bathroom and I ain't cleaning that shit everyday for free. Well, drunk fuck got pissed and started talking a bunch of shit and threw his five dollars down on the counter, and you know, I can't stand that. You don't throw money at me, I ain't a goddamned stripper, you can put that shit in my hand or you can get the fuck out my store. And, I said 'Naw, son, for you it's gonna cost ten, five dollar Drunk Dick surcharge for being an asshole and cutting my line.' And the motherfucker… he called me a fucking stupid little bitch, and he told me people like me needed to be sent back to my own country."
I made a sound of disapproval, already seeing where this was headed.
"I hate that stupid shit. Where the fuck am I getting sent back to? The fucking hospital in Manhattan where I was born? Everybody in the store just kind of stopped and stood there, and dude's cousin? He just shook his head at me and walked right out the store and left him there."
"He wasn't gonna get involved, huh?" I asked.
"Fuck no. He wasn't stupid. I… uh, I was seeing red by that point so I balled up his money and I threw it across the store and told him to get the fuck out. I don't even remember half the shit I said to him, but I was yelling and he was yelling back and all of a sudden Antoni was… just there. I never even noticed him walking up. He was a big motherfucker, but goddamn he was quick and quiet when he wanted to be."
Becca laced her fingers through the fingers of my right hand and I gave them a squeeze as she readjusted her head against my shoulder. I turned mine to press a kiss to her hair. She was short enough that I didn't have to worry about bumping my nose. As I turned back, I noticed that there was a puddle of water on the seat across from us, and a pit formed in my stomach immediately. My face felt cold as the blood drained from it. The puddle of water made me more than just a little nervous to see it.
I had new enemies stacking up quick, and the last thing I needed was a pissed off, jealous ghost because his grieving fiancée was getting a little handsy with me. But… Antoni never showed himself, so I could only assume he approved of my offering her comfort in her time of need. Either that or he was waiting till I was alone to express his displeasure.
"'Is there a problem here?' was all he asked and the drunk bitch turned around and he got even more pissed. He goes 'Man, fuck you, white boy. Mind your own goddamned business.' And Antoni kind of got in his face, and goes, 'I have made it my business. She told you to leave. Either remove yourself or I will remove you.'
"And the liquor must've given him a bigger set of balls than he actually had, cause he took a swing at him. And Antoni, he just kind of… leaned back a little to avoid the swing and then leaned back in and… he knocked that bitch out cold with one punch. And then he picked him up, literally picked him up, and threw his ass out on the sidewalk, and kind of dusted his hands off afterwards."
"Well, if he's anything like his father then he could throw a hell of a right cross."
Becca laughed weakly.
"Yeah, his Dad boxes, they all did, you know, from when they were young. Antoni told me he got in his Dad's face once when he was about 16, and Old Papa Zabrowska coldcocked him in the kitchen, and when he woke up on the couch, his Dad dragged him out back in the alley and beat him bloody. Told him if his little grown ass thought he was a man, then he was grown enough to get his ass stomped like a man."
That made me feel a little better, to be honest. At least I wasn't the only one I knew who had caught an ass kicking from Antoni Sr.
"I bet he didn't talk shit to his Pops again after that, huh?"
"I asked him that exact question, he said 'Oh no, no, never again. I learned my lesson.' Toni and his brothers, though, were always getting in fights, even when I knew them. He told me it was hard on their Mama, back in Kraków, having four hormonal, teenaged boys with just shy of a year between each of them, you know cause… us fucking Roman Catholics ain't too fond of any method of contraception."
"I didn't know you was Catholic, too, B."
"Of course. Rossi is a devout Catholic, and that's how he raised me, and Nia, she's an Angel, you know, a Fallen One, that's what they call themselves, but she's even got real wings. A little more leathery and less feathery, but… same thing. She goes to Mass daily, turns out demons are actually very religious. Both of my parents were atheists, and that's how they raised me, but after some of the shit I've seen, you know, it ain't too unbelievable that there's a Big Guy upstairs."
She sniffed again, wiped at her nose and I offered her a bit of toilet paper from my pocket.
"That's how it all got started, the War in Heaven. God created Adam, the first living human body, and he told all the spirits in Heaven to kneel to him. And at least half of them weren't too fond of that idea, and the Morning Star stepped up as representative and said they wouldn't kneel to anyone but God. And they, uh, they lost the War, and He banished them all to Earth, to wander without bodies of their own while the other side got to come to Earth one at a time, to live their lives.
"But… then there was the first murder, Abel. Cain beat him to death with a rock, and the blood on the ground, the first human blood ever shed in violence, it called to God, but He wasn't the only one it called to. The blood, it gave him a way inside of a body. Lucifer. He was the First One. He's still here, you know, I've met him. He has a particular fondness for Nia, he calls her Young One, cause according to him 1607 wasn't all that long ago."
"I guess it isn't when you're that old."
"But, back to what I was saying about Toni, all of them were packed into one place together like fucking sardines, the four boys sharing one bedroom in a two bedroom apartment, and all having vastly different personalities. Tatiana is little, like me, and I don't imagine she could do much to break them up when they got to fighting about everything from who ate all the leftovers to who got the top bunks on the beds."
"Probably not," I answered.
"I mean, I could practically smell the testosterone in their fucking apartment whenever I walked in, and it was probably even worse back then. And apparently, that had been their Dad's method of keeping them from tearing up his wife's house all the time. Whenever a problem inevitably developed, he'd just take them down to the gym and throw them in the ring without any gloves and tell them to fucking handle it, and whoever was still standing at the end was the one that won the argument.
"Uh, but, uh, when Toni hit the guy, all, all I could do was stand there with my mouth hanging open like a fucking fish. I mean, I was in love, right that fucking second, standing there. The hormones were running on overdrive, my head was practically spinning with how fast all the blood rushed south, you know? Everybody was still standing there and Antoni tried to get back in line and I said, 'Uh-uh. Take your shit and go on.' And he goes," Beccs began laughing again, laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes once more.
"He goes, 'Am I in trouble?'''
I had to wrap my left arm tight around my stomach because I couldn't stop myself from laughing either. The makeshift bandage on my left hand that I'd wound out of paper towel had soaked through, I was going to have to change it soon.
"He didn't say that, Becca."
"Yes the fuck, he did. And I went, 'No, you dumbass, it's on the house, and in case I gotta translate, that means it's free. Small price to pay for a security detail.' And he just kind of blinked at me for a second, before he nodded his head and grabbed his things off the counter, went and filled his slushy up."
"You probably scared the piss out of him for that second, he probably thought he'd been found out. That's what they call it, what he was, Obshchak, Security Group."
"He stopped before he left, and told me thank you. And I said 'No, dziękuję', thank you. And then I winked at him and said 'Miłej nocy, piękna.'" She straightened up as the train began to slow for our stop.
"And what did that mean?"
"Have a good night, gorgeous." She said with a watery grin.
"Smooth, B, real smooth. Nothing quite like hitting on a man in his native language. "
"I mean, you know us, Tony, we got Southern Hospitality down here. As long as you're not an asshole, I do everything I can to make sure everyone feels welcome when they come inside. That's why there's a sign on the door that says 'DMZ.' They might have beef on the streets but don't nobody take that shit inside my store. And that means asking the Mexicans down the street if they need a bolsa, and making sure I ordered Farid's miswaks so he didn't have to walk all the way down to the Pakistani store, and sometimes it means learning a little bit of Polish so I could flirt with the new guy downstairs the next time he came in."
We exited the train, made the switch, and stood on the platform waiting for the next to take us back to Avenue U. As I glanced to the side, I could see a puddle forming on the platform next to me, drip by drip. It was already freezing around the edges. As it turned out, I wasn't the only nosy fuck around here.
"And apparently the flirting was well received by our dearly departed half-Russian friend."
"Apparently, cause about a week later I was having a busy fucking Friday night and my Dad had already gone home, and I was trying to shut her down but motherfuckers kept coming inside right up until 11. I made DeAndre from downstairs stand at the door and tell people we were closed and that he was the last customer for the night and after I rung him up I told him to flip the sign on the door and I'd lock it when I finished my cigarette count… only, I forgot to ever lock it, and DeDe's traitorous ass, he fucking set me up. He knew I had a thing for Antoni, and when he saw him coming down off the platform and rushing down the sidewalk, he let him in and told him he was the last customer for the night and to flip the sign on the door."
She closed her eyes for a moment.
"It took me… exactly 16 minutes to notice he was there. I know, cause after I was done pissing myself when I figured out I wasn't alone, the Polish smart-ass showed me his watch. He'd set a timer when he realized I wasn't paying any attention to him, and then just stood there, waiting to see how long it would take. I had my earphones in, and it took four songs," she held up her hand and ticked them off with her fingers. "'Savage Like', 'Money, Sex, Drugs', 'Proud' and 'Only.'
"I turned around and screamed like a little bitch when I saw him. And then I got pissed, cause I was embarrassed, I'd been singing along to all the songs cause I thought I was alone in the store. I started screaming at him. 'What the fuck, you can't read? The sign says Closed.' And he goes 'No, it didn't. It still said Open. I turned it myself.' I hadn't counted down my register yet, so I just went ahead and grabbed his shit and rung him up, cussing DeDe the whole time and I asked him how long he'd been standing there, and he showed me his watch. And he says, 'You shouldn't wear those, it's dangerous,' talking about my headphones, and I said, 'What are you, my fucking father?' And he got kind of a funny look on his face."
I released a weak snicker, holding my stomach tight again. I couldn't resist fucking with them both a little bit.
"He kinda had a point, Becca. Although, I can tell you he was probably less concerned about being your father and more concerned about becoming your Daddy."
"Oh, so now you got the dirty jokes," Becca said flatly.
"What can I say, B, you're a bad influence on me."
"Eh," she said after a moment, "You wouldn't be the first. You know, months later he told me that he'd stood there that long because he didn't think he'd have the nerve to ask what he wanted to ask the next time if he left, which, you know, what the fuck? What am I, scary?"
I couldn't help but laugh again.
"Yes, Becca, you are, you're fucking terrifying half the time. You might be a short fuck but dynamite comes in small packages, you know? He was probably afraid you'd tell him to suck your dick and ban him from the store for a month like every other poor motherfucker I've seen ask you out, and he probably didn't want to go through your particular brand of ridicule in front of an audience, on top of that, with all the other customers laughing him out of the store."
"It ain't my fault I'm this size," she said after a moment, shooting me a perturbed look.
"No shit, Sherlock. It's genetics."
"It ain't even that. It's the blood. I mean, my parents were both tall, you know, for Koreans, anyway, my Mom was 5'6. I probably would've been too if I'd had the chance, but, you know, the blood it… stops things. Why do you think Jimmy looks the way he does? I mean, Pops believes in 'aging gracefully,' as he says, but old Giacomino is a vain fuck, and he's got more of a taste for 'the Stuff' than Rocco ever had. He turned 65 this year, he's only two years younger than Pops, he was already 34 years old when he met Nia for the first time. He tells people he's got a good plastic surgeon, when they ask. And the same thing happened to me. My body wanted to stay 8 years old, forever.
"Rossi had to get hormones, fucking estrogen and progesterone and HGH, off the black market to force my body to start puberty and to fucking grow. It's not like we could go to a doctor and explain why I needed the prescription. I mean, these tits aren't even mine. Ma bought 'em for my sixteenth birthday so I wouldn't feel so goddamned self-conscious. Nia's not exactly flat-chested, as you know, neither was my Mom, and it kind of gave me a fucking complex when I was growing up."
"I mean, is she? I haven't really noticed," I replied, evasively.
"Yes, you have, you lying fuck. There isn't a straight or bisexual man, or a lesbian or bisexual woman for that matter, that comes within fifty feet of Appolonia Bianchi that doesn't notice all of her unnatural charms. It made for some interesting 'family' trips during the summer when we'd leave the city, lemme tell you. I asked Pops once, you know, if he ever got jealous when she'd show up with some random dick she'd run across, cause I used to think it was pretty shitty of her.
"I said she could've at least kept things on the downlow and not throw it in Rocco's face every few days. But he told me no, he loved her, he understood her nature very well and he'd accepted what she was years before I was even born, and that she loved him too, and more importantly, respected him. She always introduced the men to him because that was what he'd asked of her. That it was the one aspect of control he had in the situation, giving his 'permission' for her little liaisons. That it made him feel better to let them know they might be getting a piece, but she'd be ending every night lying in his bed, regardless of what they did."
I nodded. "I guess I can kind of see his point."
"But, the blood, that's how I ended up pregnant. I mean, I'm not a dumbass, I know how babies are made, but I wasn't worried about using condoms with Antoni, neither of us wanted to. I told him if he gave me anything I'd cut his dick off, and he knew I was serious, too, and he considered it a proportional response. I didn't even think I could get pregnant.
"I stopped the birth control when I was 16 because it was making me gain weight and my cheer coach bitched me out in front of fucking everybody, and Rossi's guy said I needed to keep taking it to keep my hormone levels even. So I told Antoni I didnt want to get into my medical history, but suffice to say I was probably fucking sterile anyway, so he didn't have to worry about it, and he told me he wasn't worried about it at all. But apparently my fucking parts work better than I thought."
"Or maybe he had some damned determined swimmers, who knows."
"I don't know why I was even concerned about not using condoms anyway. Technically we were all excommunicated as of 2014. Pope said the mafiosi lifestyle isn't compatible with the Catholic one. You know, I wonder how Antoni would feel about all this, I wonder if he'd be pissed, think I lied to him about not being able to get pregnant."
"You're just gonna have to take my word for it, B, but he's not angry in the least, he's pretty fucking proud of hisself." I'd say his chest was stuck out but he didn't have much of a chest left these days, so I just kept that part to myself. "Pretty sure he said he wasn't worried about it because he was hoping you were wrong about being sterile."
Beccs gave me a strange look but the train arrived at just that moment. The people exiting did quite a bit of staring, unlike the people leaving the funeral, but I just tucked my arm around Becca and shouldered my way past them and found us a seat. The drops of water followed us into the train.
"What's with the present tense, Tony? Is that some kind of cliche 'he's lookin' down on you' bullshit?"
I snorted and wiped the bubble of blood from my nose, staring at the puddle of water that was starting to form in the seat next to us. I could feel the cold emanating from Antoni all along my left side. Oddly enough, it was easing the intense ache in my nearly severed ring finger.
"He ain't looking down on us, B, I can tell you that much."
"So it's a Hell joke?"
"No, not really. But then again, I'm pretty sure we're all in Hell right this second, Miss Rebecca, so yes, yes it is."

🤯🤯

the queens return to the workroom after Yuka's elimination
Wren: Awww, Yuka!
🏁Wren CF: Seeing Yuka leave is bittersweet. I had gotten really close with her. But when you're in the bottom two, you can only focus on it not being your name on that lipstick. One of us had to go, better her than me!
Fleur: I'd say I can't believe she's gone this early, but I'm afraid I saw it coming.
Sue: Really?
Fleur: If there's one thing about me and Yuka being in a competition together, it's that I'll make it farther. Bring out the tiny violins, bye bitch!
🏁Fleur CF: Did Yuka do anything to me? Hmm, that's a dumb question. But I do know that she was in the competition, and now she's not!
Morgs: Blondie and Zodya, congratulations. I'll admit, I was hoping this would be our week. But you did a nice job.
Blondie: Thank you.
Sharris: Let's hope that there aren't any more pity wins this season. That would be great.
Zodya: There's a difference between a pity win and being the best team to follow the rules.
Sharris: And I don't think you were either!
Zodya: Sharris, I don't need you making this a miserable experience.
🏁Zodya CF: I feel like Sharris brings a dark cloud over the competition. I trust Morgs and Steph, and I know that they trust Sharris. For now, I can play nice. But when it comes down to the inner group of the alliance, she'll have to go.
Kami: Blondie, how are you feeling after being in the top?
Blondie: It felt right, it felt correct!
Fleur: Oh shut up.
Blondie: Alright, that came out of nowhere, but work.
Wren: I'm sure my lipstick is in your bra right now, but it really was nice to see you get celebrated like that.
Blondie: I actually chose Yuka.
Wren: Girl, you don't need to lie. It's fine, really.
Blondie pulls her lipstick out to reveal she truly did choose Yuka
Blondie: Not lying.
Wren: What the hell, I'm at a loss right now.
🏁Blondie CF: Saving Wren was not an easy decision. I know people want her gone. And after what went down between the two of us, I had a million reasons to get her out of here. But this is the new version of Blondie, and I've made the decision to fight for this friendship. And that can only happen once one of us decides to be the bigger person. And that's usually not me, but there's a first for everything!
Blondie: What you did, it hurt me. But things I did on Season Six, that hurt you. If we keep going after each other, we can't move forward.
the camera slowly pans over to Sue who is hysterically crying
Steph: Sue?
Sue: I just...I just love seeing the birth of a friendship!
🏁Steph CF: If any of you question why I love this bitch, now you know. The sweetest soul I know.
Wren: Blondie, that means a lot to me. Thank you. Now, I still don't know if it should've been me in the bottom, but thank you.
Fleur: Here we go again.
Anthyy: Who do you think should've been in the bottom?
Wren: Our challenge was to show up at a certain time and perform. Most of us did that. But two of us didn't.
Sharris squints her eyes and takes off her earrings, handing them over to Morgs
Sharris: Wren, you're a joke. Not just a joke, an embarrassment. Why the fuck are you even here?
Wren: Excuse me?
Sharris: You take this so seriously, and it makes me physically uncomfortable. It's a game, calm down.
Wren: I'm not apologizing for showing up to a competition and wanting to compete.
Sharris: You need to apologize for a lot more than that. Starting with that face.
Fleur: And then work your way down.
Zodya: Are we really doing this right now? You're all taking this too far, and it needs to stop. I'm serious.
Sharris: Oh bug off, you don't need to play mediator.
Zodya: Sharris, stop. I'm not letting you attack my friend.
Sharris: If that's the kind of freak you're friends with, that says everything about you.
🏁Sharris CF: I won't rest until Wren is out of the competition. I don't like her, I haven't liked her, and I will never like her. It's not even about winning anymore. It's about breaking this bitch from the inside.
The Next Day
the queens enter the workroom, laughing and ignoring the drama from the previous night
🏁Anthyy CF: It's a new day in the workroom, and the stress of the competition is clearly getting to these girls! I feel good, staying out of the drama, and ready to slay. You won't see me safe again, that's not a cute look!
Sue: Seeing how many people are still here just shows how big this season is going to be. Three girls down, and we can still barely fit around the table.
Sharris: Some of you can skip some meals, and that'll change!
🏁Sue CF: I'm afraid that I'm fading into the background, and it's about time that I step forward. On Season Four, I never got to a win, even though I was close. I know that these girls think my attitude is more fun and relaxed, but I won't let them underestimate me.
the workroom door swings open as Micro steps in, wearing a sliver puffer track suit with futuristic silver sunglasses
Micro: Greetings Earth queens! When I invited each of you back, I did so because you are the best and brightest in the galaxy. And to prove that, it's time to take things out of this world. Behind me, there's a table full of celestial inspired materials. Each of you will design a high fashion look that takes us to infinity and beyond. Now, some of you may not love the idea of producing your own look. Which is why you have options! If you'd like, you are able to use a pre-existing look. The only catch is that you need to modify it enough so that it reads as your own unique creation. Good luck, and I can't wait to see what you come up with!
Micro leaves the workroom, and the queens rush over to the table of materials, grabbing everything they can find
🏁Whorechata CF: This is what I've been waiting for! From the start of this competition, these queens have questioned whether or not I belong here. And I knew they were wrong. Because...duh, look at the material. But this is the challenge where I know I can outdo everyone else. Yeah, I feel pretty good about my chances.
the queens spread throughout the workroom in different groupings
Fleur, Morgs, and Sharris discuss the challenge and what their ideas are
Sharris: I've decided to not make my own look. I know my limits, and there's more I can do with little embellishments than with a sewing machine.
🏁Morgs CF: Sharris is the person I'm the closest to here. I do trust that she can make this challenge work. But when she says she's not even taking out a sewing machine, I'm starting to worry.
Fleur: I've taken my sewing classes after Season Four, and I didn't really have that much to improve on.
Morgs: You had a design challenge on your season, right?
Fleur: We did. We got these horrible boxes of trash and had to make it into something.
🏁Fleur CF: I felt great about my look on Season Four. Truly, how can you describe it without using the word beautiful? Some people said I should've been in the bottom, but "some people" got sent home two episodes ago. Hi Lectro, thanks for watching!
Morgs: From what I can see of other people, I don't think we have anything to worry about this week.
Sharris: Just say Wren...
the camera cuts over to Wren on the floor, sculpting multiple arms and cutting out fabric
🏁Wren CF: I've always had a strong sense of what I want when it comes to the designs I wear. But it's taken some time to polish up the level of execution. This is my chance to show how much I've grown, even in the short time since Season Six.
Zodya: Wren, you doing good?
Wren: Can't talk, too busy serving cunt.
🏁Zodya CF: If you can't love yourself, then you must not be Wren! But hey, I can't knock the confidence.
Zodya: Chata, what are you bringing with your look?
Whorechata: I'm trying to embrace the materials as much as possible. I don't want to use any patterns I brought, any base garments, nothing. If it's not from that table, I'm not using it.
Zodya: It's definitely a bold color choice.
Whorechata: I need to stand out. Whatever it takes.
🏁Whorechata CF: Being able to create looks like this, that's why I applied for Season Five. And finally, I got a challenge where I can shine.
Anthyy, Steph, and Sue chat by the mirrors as they sketch out look ideas
🏁Anthyy CF: I've come back to judge fashion challenges on MDR a million times. If I don't slay this, I need to apologize to everyone I ever critiqued! I need to bring a new silhouette, new materials, everything. You won't be able to clock a single detail.
Steph: Last time I had a challenge like this, it caused me to spiral.
Sue: You know you've gotten better since then.
Steph: I think I have. Being back in these four walls, and feeling like I'm just starting to get the momentum going, it's hauntingly familiar to how I felt on Season Three.
Anthyy: You have to believe in yourself! Let the infection take over. Well, not like that. But the fashion infection.
Steph: Please, I need to catch the fashion infection first!
🏁Steph CF: Ever since my elimination on Season Three, I've felt like had I just made it through the design challenge, I could've won the whole thing. This is my chance to show that I can not just make it through this challenge, but I can come out unharmed, and ready to give this competition what I have. Call me dramatic, but you all saw the look, it was traumatizing!
Sue plugs in her headphones and turns on Kylie Minogue, unlocking her full powers. She turns on the sewing machine and gets to work
🏁Sue CF: When it comes to sewing, I may not be Sue Essence Hall. But I have the drive and heart to win this thing. Nobody wants this more than me, and that's gotta count for something.
Runway
the lights flicker and an electric magenta light floods the runway as Micro struts down the center
Micro Episode 4 Look
Micro: Welcome back to the runway of Micro's Drag Race: All Stars! This week, the queens were asked to design a high fashion look utilizing or inspired by celestial materials. And joining me on the judging panel is a very special guest. Usually, we keep it in the family and have past queens return to judge. But this season, I've invited some legendary queens that I admire to help me out. And tonight, we have the amazing Hex!
Hex Guest Judging Look
Micro: Hex, thank you for being here!
Hex: Honored to be here.
Micro: You've been a legendary designer in the drag world for years. What do you think makes a good design?
Hex: Finding a concept, and immersing yourself in that world. If you want to be an alien, become that alien and think about how they'd wear the look. You have to commit!
Micro: That is fabulous advice. You ready to get started?
Hex: I'm ready to feel inspired!
Micro: Without further ado, let's see if these looks are truly out of this world!
"Bad Juju" by Jujubee plays
Anthyy: Coming down this runway I feel amazing! It’s a design challenge and you just know that miss Anthyy will deliver in those! Tonight the category was space at first I got a bit scared cause the home eis super broad if you look at it but then my. Mind went straight to my sister she is OBSSESED with space, so I called her and asked her what is her favorite planet! She said Uranus… and the rest is history! So tonight for my look I am channeling you the Uranus fantasy, my dress is a net made out of 27 of the Uranus’s moons and being me you can see a stunning set of it’s rings, not many people know that Uranus is one of the 3 planets with rings! Yup not only Saturn so tonight I wanted to make sure we don’t forget about those rings! Uranus is also one of the coldest planets that exsist so i made sure my alien puss is frozen the haus down boots! The parts holding together the moons on her dress are all coveed in galaxy dust and you can see my stunning 3 pairs of hands all going in diffrent directions! As for the look itself, it is a pretty gown (which you know i only do for special occasions!) with an amazing backpiece and stunning hair artistry! I would say this is soemthing that isnt often seen and its one of it's kind so im suoer happy to bring it to you on the design challenge! Lets hope this alien lands me my 3rd win! Finding out that this week's guest judge is my amazing friend Hex, she also is included in this look honey did you notice how my alien has 3 nostrills??? YUPPPPP thats what i call referencing
Anthyy Look
Blondie: You better beware, you're in for a scare! Run in fear when Captain Blondatrix arrives on your planet and goes for a pure femme pink fem-pire! For this look, I did use a pre-existing outfit but dyed the colours to a nice ballet slipper pink & a rose gold pink to add to colour theory. I did paint the mask and got a dazzling matching wig... I mean, styled my hair into a gorgeous blonde to meet my branding. Next, I got rid of some pesky details that weren't needed and created more of a space priestess vibe, and kept the alien incubator, as I'm here to spread my seed any way I can. Finally, I created a new banner and an amazing bi-sexual planet to create awareness. So beam me up, cuz I'm here to take y'all down~
Blondie Look
Fleur: I love the Earth. The Earth just gives cunt 24/7 for the past billion years. She always finds some way to absolute slayyyyyy. For example when she decided that she wanted a desert, we were all like "yas girl sand is so sexy". Her brain is just so innovative and she is truly a lovely person. I love the Earth. It is just so calm, and peaceful and sweet. Everyday is amazing on Earth because the Earth is just amazing. It has not one bad quality. That is why I love it. This look resemblances the cuntiness Mother Earth is but also how serene it can be. She's so quirky. But sometimes... just sometimes... the Galaxy is jealous of Earth's cuntiness. Like for example, when the Galaxy decided to shoot a meteor onto it and kill all those leather wearing, katy perry roaring carnivores. Like that was bullying! But sometimes... just sometimes... the Galaxy is in a bad mood and it wants to recreate the devastation of the first meteor. Fuck the galaxy honestly. FUCK YOU. And when the Earth goes BOOM, so does the runway Fleur is modelling and strutting on. This gives her enough times to take of her jumpsuit and reveal her bare naked skin which is just coincidentally painted in a molten galaxy pattern. Science lesson: This is because the Earth has plates. The crust, the mantle and the core. The core is filled with molten lava and I think lava is so that bitch. Like it can burn a hoe like that! So obviously when the earth explodes, lava will ooze into the milkyway making the milkyway turn orange. Kind of like food colouring. And obviously, when the world does explode into the galaxy, you would probably be blinded by the light so you will always need some funky Lady Gaga looking sun glasses. And that's on period.
Fleur Look
Fleur Reveal
Fleur Reveal
Kami: Kami steps out onto the stage, and she is ready for space! She is serving you astronaut realness with her helmet in hand, and her bedazzled star space bodysuit when suddenly she trips -
her belt unravels and suddenly you can see a fake face laying on the ground
Oh my god! She's really an alien?? She's kind of serving though... Her alien wings held back by the belt that was previously cinching her waist (?) in, has revealed who she truly is. The wig seems to have melted down, and a bunch of the accessories are now falling off as well. The stars on the alien skin slowly falling off as the bodysuit from before is now revealed to have been her skin all along. how is she hiding humongous wings underneath a tiny belt ? these are questions that are unnecessary!
Kami Look
Kami Reveal
Morgs: BLAM! for my intergalactic runway it’s getting hot in here, why? because i’m a star, litterally. i wanted to be the sun, the most important thing for life. i've got a warm dress on, glasses to protect me from the UV rays, and a backpiece that are supposed to be sunbeams. i’m slaying this runway and even though i hate designing my own stuff, i managed to make myself a whole outfit and sunbeams that shoot out!
Morgs Look
Sharris: For my Space Age Couture runway, my inspiration comes directly from the galaxy and the beautiful sky we see at nighttime. I didn’t want to go with an astronaut, or an alien, I wanted to go with the sheer beauty that the natural world holds. It’s couture, and just so so extravagant. This runway represents an entire celestial body. If a lady from the Capitol moved to space- this is what she’d be wearing. Upon walking onto the runway, the lights dim, and i’m SHINING. Practically radiating with beauty. I have never been in more awe than I have with what I’ve produced tonight
Sharris Look
Steph: for my runway look tonight i wanted to be a FIERCE celestial goddess. my entire body is painted in that same sparkling purple color as the mug which reminds me of Nebula one of my fav guardians of the galaxy. and honestly my look tonight IS THE SPACE AGE AND THE UNIVERSE MAMA. she is a space goddess and she has kidnapped the stars and the color purple to make this look. thx a bunch:) My vision is filled with this collage and i hope u enjoy her:)
Steph Look
Sue: So for my look tonight I am serving you intergalactic space pop star. She has her Ariana ponytail on and her microphone that she totally didn’t get inspired by from Fever by Kylie Minogue.
Sue Look
Whorechata: Tonight is my day to shine. Chata is living in the year 3000 and failed her astronaut astronomy space class exam thing and can’t use her spacesuit to go to the plant Whore anymore. So what does she do… she takes it apart MAWMA. This outfit is using a deconstructed padded astronaut suit. Some green tubing and inflatable thingys to create this futuristic Lewk. Tonight I hope to show these girls why micro let me in the doors.
Whorechata Look
Wren: Kneel.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3UhSk0Tk48k
Zodya: Tonight on the runway, I am giving you space duchess to the extreme! I am the most fabulous diva at the annual Galatica Ball, and honey, you can’t outshine me! Get out of my way, girls, because none of y’all can be as glamorous as me!
Zodya Look
Critiques
Micro: Thank you ladies! Based on your performances tonight, I've made some decisions. When I call your name, please step forward.
Micro: Kami, Steph, Whorechata. The three of you...are safe.
Steph: Oh thank lord. Whew!
Kami and Steph thank the judges as Whorechata's face is drained of all life. Her legs begin to quiver, and her eyes lose emotion as they twitch
🏁Whorechata CF: Safe. Safe. Oh wow.
Whorechata steps forward and walks towards the judging panel. She hunches over and grabs the base of the panel, as Micro and Hex look at her in confusion. Whorechata lifts with all of her might, and flips the panel. Her eyes turn bright red and she storms around the studio, throwing punches and kicks at everyone in sight
🏁Whorechata CF: Well, that's what I wanted to do at least...
the scene snaps back into reality where Whorechata is standing on stage and faking a smile
Micro: The three of you may leave the stage.
Whorechata: Safe girls, woohoo!
Micro: The rest of you represent the tops and bottoms of the week. It's time for your critiques.
Micro: First up, Anthyy!
Hex: Hello Anthyy! This look is fun, i know that this isn't really your style but i think that you did the theme's justice tonight. You decided to be inspired by one of the planets which is a really safe choice to do on a theme like that, but you went with one of the most interesting ones so its ok, We can see that the inspo was there from the color palette and the rings. The look is just a basic gown let's be real but you still make it interesting with the transparent parts and overall its giving me very Brooke Candy/slutish vibe which i am personally a fan of. What i am not a fan of is the makeup here, i like that you decided to pay homage to your drag sister - me, but idk i am not really feeling the eyes, they kinda look weird but i guess it fits the whole alien aesthetic so maybe i'm just quirky and nitpicking. The headpiece is really fun and playful. Overall it's a really strong look from you tonight, good job!
Micro: Anthyy! I think this week was a great chance for you to show off a new style with your looks. Getting more into the alienesque and untraditional glamour. And you really nailed that in my opinion! I love when a look is simple, but has dynamic silhouettes and added bits. This strappy dress on its own would maybe be too simple, but the back piece and extra arms, it elevates it to an incredible level. I think the color palette of blue and gray was unexpected but worked well. And usually I’m begging for rhinestones, but I wouldn’t add any rhinestones to this look, I don’t know how you managed that! Great work.
Micro: Next, Blondie!
Hex: Blondie! Hi, i love how both you and Anthyy decided to go with 3 eyed aliens! I see what you tried to do with the theme, but i lowkey don't see space in it, your color palette is giving me just a normal person, maybe if you changed the hair and face to be pinkish too maybe it would help to sell the theme more? I also don't think that you edited your look enough to be that different from the original one which is a shame because i see some potential. Overall you were in the middle tonight, not the worst but not the best one either.
Micro: Hi Blondie!! I think this base look was a great choice for this challenge, since it does lend itself to that outer space vibe. And you definitely put the work in to make this your own. I do think though that the new color palette makes the level of detail come down a bit. There’s a lot about this that I like, but I have to nitpick!
Micro: Next up, Fleur Tation!
Hex: Fleur! Hello girl, let me start with the positives first, well, so i liked that you decided to be inspired by earth which is an original choice for a theme like that not gonna lie, everyone would do something quirky but you decided to not look too far for your inspiration. You have a + for that from me. Now for your look, hmm i think that you could do way more with it, its just a simple bodysuit with a print on it, the reveal version is better, but still could've been more elevated. I just wish that you did something more with the hair and makeup in both of these, because even though your inspiration was really good for me, it just looks like you did not know what to do with it. Overall its not a good look from you tonight, I appreciate that you drew it and your description was fun to read.
Micro: Let me start off by saying your runway commentary and how you sold this look was my absolute favorite. I love the effort you put into that. Now onto the looks. I think they told a great story. But the actual design elements, I’m not getting much from it if I’m being totally honest. If there was some sleeve action, some interesting cut to the pants, something to bring more to it.
Micro: The always fabulous, Morgs!
Hex: Hello Morgs! This is very safe for me, i like the inspiration because without the sun there wouldn't be us so good for you to appreciate that. There's nothing much to say here really, maybe other than i don't really see cosmos here but it's just not the worst look tonight so, at least you tried and drew it.
Micro: Hi Morgs! I love the energy and vibe that this look conveys. It’s modern and has a cool look to it. I will say, I think the back piece really saves you here. It adds a unique element, and I think the look needed it. The rest of the look is a bit too simple to me. Maybe some stoning, a different neckline on the dress, some little adjustments could’ve amped this up. But as is, this doesn’t totally work for me, I’m sorry!
Micro: Next, Sharris!
Hex: Hello Sharris! Your look is good but i don't think you did enough for me to call it as 'your' look. Micro gave you all an option to edit one of many existing looks and while you picked a really good one, you barely did anything to edit it as yours, it just looks like you put a filter over it and called it a day, not even bothering to change the colors really. While Blondie did the same thing, she at least i don't know tried to make things a bit interesting by changing the whole color palette. That's all.
Micro: Hi Sharris! With the option to take a pre-existing look and edit it, I think the potential to make something your own and really special was there. And while I think you look amazing right now, it is so similar to the original look. Small things like changing the hair, adding new jewelry, maybe a metal corset piece, those could’ve really worked to make this more of an original piece. Not a bad look by any means, but I have to look at how different it is from the original, and I’m not seeing much.
Micro: Shining bright, it's Sue Pernova!
Hex: Sue! This look is very adorable, i really like the color palette, it looks like some video game character thats a singer and has some cosmic related superpowers. Your inspiration here clearly shows because i can see each thing you mentioned in your description. I love how we can't really see her face because it also adds to the mystic element that the cosmos has because we still don't really know much stuff about it. Overall a really good job tonight, congrats!
Micro: Sue, this look is adorable!! I love the outer space popstar vibe you went for, and the vibrancy of these colors work really well with that. The different textures and materials as well add some visual interest and keep it from being too simple. I maybe would’ve liked to see some lengthening to the legs and a tighter cinch on the corset, but this is a stand out look for me, you really impressed me here!
Micro: Next up, Wren Wyvern!
Hex: Wren, uhh hello? This was a letdown for me, you kinda did a similar look to Steph but i guess her's more elevated and just more interesting to look at. I don't think your look really sells the theme since it's barely cosmos related other than the cosmic print. I like what you tried to do with the arms but it reads more as angelic to me rather than some alien creature. I'm sorry but i don't like this.
Micro: Hi Wren! I’m gonna have to disagree with Hex on this one. I really enjoyed this look. It’s very cosmic deity, and you stand out from the group tonight. I think a really big collar piece that had some height and sharp edges to it would’ve taken this look to an even stronger level, but I see where you were going with it! Some minor little edits I’d make, but solid look from you!
Micro: Last but not least, Zodya Killer.
Hex: Hello Zodya! This is one of my favorite looks tonight, you had a clear vision and presented it really well. I really like the color palette and how vibrant it is, i love the accessories and the overall shape of it. The backpiece with your blonde hair in front of it kinda reminds me of the sun which is also a really fun detail. The way that you drew this also is a big plus for me + the props? I am a prop queen so i like the use of them in this look. Overall a really good moment for you tonight.
Micro: Zodya, you look like a goddess tonight. You found a way to take this sort of galaxy pattern and print and make it look regal and expensive. I love the way this look sparkles, and the golden accents against that deep blue and purple, it adds to that royalty look. If I had to nitpick, I wish there was a big necklace or set of earrings, but I can appreciate the simplicity in not going heavy with accessories. Great work!
Micro: Thank you ladies. I've made some decisions.
Micro: Blondie, Morgs, and Wren. The three of you are safe. You may step to the back of the stage.
🏁Wren CF: At this point, I'm not sure what else I could do. I gave you a full goddess, and then Micro has the nerve to put me in the same group as Blondie and Morgs? It's stupid, it really is.
Micro: Anthyy. Tonight, your E.T. was a T-O-P.
Micro: Sue Pernova. You took us all on a trip to Chromatica, and we didn't want to leave.
Micro: Zodya Killer. Category is...MET Gala on Mars.
Micro: Anthyy, Zodya. Congratulations, you are the top two queens of the week!
🏁Anthyy CF: Ah, screaming!! I put so much of my heart and soul into my designs, and the hard work paid off.
🏁Zodya CF: I didn't think I'd be the type of queen who looks forward to a design challenge. But I really believe in my skills, and having that validated by the judges, that means the world.
Micro: Sue, you are safe. Great work this week.
Sue: Thank you Miss Micro.
🏁Sue CF: This week was all about wanting to prove myself as a real competitor here. I have what it takes to win the crown, and this moved things in the right direction. I feel amazing!
Micro: Fleur, Sharris. I'm sorry my dears, but that means you are the bottom queens of the week.
🏁Fleur CF: I don't have words. To be in a room full of people who look...like that, and be told I'm in the bottom? When I'm wearing custom couture? They're out to get me.
🏁Sharris CF: I'm fine being in the bottom. It doesn't bother me. I'd never throw a tantrum over a placement, unlike some people in this competition who shall not be named...but it's Wren.
Micro: Anthyy, Zodya. In a moment, the two of you will lipsync for your legacy, and the power to chop one of the bottom queens. Head backstage to Untucked, and make your decision.
Untucked
the safe queens enter Untucked
Kami: Redemption!
Steph: And it feels oh so good! I'm so proud of us. Whorechata, are you happy to be safe?
🏁Whorechata CF: wHoReChAtA, aRe yOu hApPy tO Be sAfE? No bitch, I'm not!
Whorechata: I'm thrilled.
Steph: No you're not.
Whorechata: Oh really, what gave it away?
Kami: Let it out, let it out.
Whorechata: The girls up on stage right now, you can see the stringy little bits of hot glue. The seams are jankier than Wren's book in the first episode. Not to sound arrogant, but this belongs in a museum.
🏁Whorechata CF: Whorechata shows off her look and letting the camera zoom in on the hems
Kami: If it makes you feel better, I thought you should've been up on stage tonight.
Whorechata: If you change your name to Micro and tan a good twelve shades darker, it would mean more. But still, thanks Kami.
🏁Kami CF: You can't argue with crazy. You just can't.
the top and bottom queens enter Untucked
Wren: The attempt to break my spirit continues.
🏁Wren CF: Heading back to Untucked, it really does sting that I didn't win. I thought I had the best look, and I love the way I presented it. I wouldn't change a thing, but clearly the judges would.
Kami: I've heard the word "safe" enough times in the last hour to last me a lifetime, so can one of you fill us in on what happened on stage?
Anthyy: I'm in the top with Zodya!
Steph: Whyyyyyyy. Oop, not like that. Just you know, the Sue stan in me.
Sue: I'm torn with my emotions right now. Getting praised on this look felt amazing. But then it almost gave me a false sense of hope. I thought maybe I could win.
Zodya: And you could've. I'm so proud of your work here. It's amazing.
🏁Zodya CF: I know how much Sue wanted to win this challenge, but I'm also freaking out a little inside that I just won my third challenge! I mean really, what could go wrong now?
Wren: Regardless of what the judges said, I'm proud of this look.
Sharris: So why do you keep bringing it up?
Wren: With the runway last week, it was a more masculine approach than what I'm used to. And this week, I wanted to give full cunty goddess.
🏁Wren CF: Exploring gender identity and expression through fashion is important to me. Like, really important. I won't apologize for that.
Blondie: And just so I know, you use all the pronouns, right? I'm not trying to get cancelled again.
Wren: After saving me, you can call me whatever. But yes, anything works. He, she, they, it's all okay to me. But it doesn't take away from my trans-ness.
Sharris: Wren, what the fuck does that even mean?
Wren: What does what means?
Sharris: How are you a he, she, and they. Make up your mind.
Wren: I don't think I need to make up my mind. It's my personal journey, and I don't need to conform to what you want.
Sharris: You just represent everything that's wrong with the world to me.
Blondie: Okay, that's a bit much.
Fleur: Blondie, stay out of it.
Blondie: No! Why can't I say anything without you all jumping to make me look like the bad person?
Fleur: If people always think you're a bad person, maybe you just are.
Morgs: Woop, there it is.
🏁Fleur CF: Blondie swears she's an angel on Earth. But she's not. She's nasty, she's an input ho, and I don't fuck with her. Screw any alliances, I want her gone.
Sharris: The more I learn about you, Blondie, the more I understand why you and Wren are friends. The only upside to that is it means none of us have to be bothered by either of you. You can annoy each other instead.
Wren: Talk that talk in your bottom outfit. You could never give what I give!
Sharris: And thank god for that. Man, man, man. I see a MAN.
Anthyy: Girl...
🏁Anthyy CF: Sharris took a low blow with that one. Wren has been so open about her identity, and really advocated for trans representation! I considered Sharris a friend, but that changes everything.
Wren: Are you really going there? For real?
Sharris: I am, care to continue?
Wren: You know who I am and I've been nothing but transparent with how I feel in my identity. And for someone in this community to be the one coming after me, it's so gross.
Sharris: Let's get one thing straight, we're not in the same community.
Wren: Right, cause I'm some freak.
Sharris: Wren, shut up and go play in traffic.
Kami: Stop, don't go there. What's that even supposed to mean.
Sharris: As in, go die. Go die, for the sake of humanity, please.
the queens all clasp their hands over their mouths as they realize what Sharris said
Wren: You want me to go kill myself?
Sharris: Yes please, look at how easy that was!
Wren: Give me a few years, and I'm sure I'll get there.
Blondie: Wren, don't even say that. Don't give that bitch another moment of your time.
Sharris: Blondie, you too.
Blondie: You are a miserable and hateful little bitch. You're disgusting. You better be so ashamed of yourself.
Fleur: You're the moral compass now? Why do you keep putting yourself in things?!
Blondie: Sharris brought me into it, and I'm done sitting down and taking it. You both are vile.
🏁Fleur CF: Blondie spews the most venomous things out of that over-plumped mouth. Why are people surprised that it caused someone to snap? If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. Blondie and Wren, there's the door, dumb bitches.
the queens return to the runway
Micro: Welcome back ladies. It has been brought to my attention that there was an altercation in Untucked.
Sharris rolls her eyes, as Blondie comforts Wren at the back of the stage
Micro: If this behavior continues, I won't hesitate to start this whole thing over. From the top, new cast and everything.
the queens snicker at Micro's comment, causing her to stand up and lean over the judging panel
Micro: I am NOT joking! Don't make me name names. But if you think you're one of the girls I'd replace, you're probably right.
the scene cuts to Lectro and Yuka standing outside of the studio and forming a prayer circle for the season to restart
🏁Kami CF: The behavior during Untucked shifted everything. I mean, it's really not that deep, and to stoop to that level? It's...it's just not acceptable.
Micro: Now, as much as I'm sure you'd love to keep attacking each other, we have more important things to get to: a fake lipsync. Will the top two queens please step forward.
Anthyy Lipsync Look
Zodya Lipsync Look
Micro: Anthyy, Zodya. Prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare a lipsync performance of "Supernova" by Kylie Minogue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcTHJ05R2bQ
Sue: Please say jk.
🏁Sue CF: I'm fine! I'm so fine, don't even worry about me. cries in Kylie Minogue
Micro: This is your chance to impress me, and secure the right to give one of the bottom queens...the chop.
🏁Anthyy CF: I really felt like I was in a tough spot with these queens in the bottom. But after that moment in Untucked, I know what needs to be done. It was taken way too far!
🏁Zodya CF: I don't have a connection to either of the bottom queens this week. But I am ready to channel my inner Sue, and give this song what it deserves.
Micro: Good luck, and don't fuck it up!
Read lipsync here!
Micro: Oh wow!
the queens clap for Sue as she shrouds herself in a cloud of glitter before remembering that Anthyy and Zodya are on stage
Micro: I think it's safe to say Sue was the real winner of that one.
Sue: Kylie, that was for you, baby!!
Micro: Ladies, I've made my decision.
...
Micro: Zodya Killer, you're a winner baby!
Zodya: Ah, thank you! Kylie, I am so sorry.
Micro: Anthyy, you are safe to slay another day.
Anthyy: I'm sorry mama, my feet were tired after doing three of these!
Zodya giggles and raises her eyebrows
Micro: Will the bottom two queens please step forward.
Fleur and Sharris walk to the front of the stage as the safe queens glare at them
🏁Fleur CF: I don't think I should be in the bottom this week, and I shouldn't have been near the bottom last week either! If they send me home, it's just putting me out of my misery. But if I stay, I'll make this hell for each and every one of them.
🏁Sharris CF: I don't regret a thing. It went far, but there's only so much I could take from that...person doesn't feel appropriate. I think pathetic troglodyte fits Wren better. Whether they like it or not, I'd say it again!
Micro: Zodya. With great power comes great responsibility. Which queen have you chosen...to get the chop?
Zodya: I'm going to be honest, I don't have any strong connections to either of you. I think you both deserve to be here and can be able to bring something fun to the rest of the competition, but tonight, I'm going to have to go with the person I felt really took on the challenge to heart. My decision...is...
...
...
Zodya: Sharris.
Zodya's Lipstick Choice
Sharris laughs as Morgs begins to tear up
Micro: So it is written, so it shall be done. Sharris, I know that you have everything it takes to thrive in a competition like this. But now is not your time.
Sharris: Womp womp.
Micro: Now, sashay away.
Sharris goes to the back of the stage to hug Morgs before walking off
Micro: Moving forward, I hope we can treat each other with some more kindness, and enjoy this for what it is. Now, let the music play!
"Banjo" by Bebe Zahara Benet plays
Next Time on Micro's Drag Race
Blondie: There is a killer on the loose, and nobody is safe.
🏁Whorechata CF: If this means I make a few enemies, oh well!
Micro: I'm so sorry, I need to excuse myself.
Micro steps away from the judging panel as her eyes fill with tears
Track Record
Cast Shot w/ Placements