Cohoes eat in the street 2022

I put an offer on the attached house last year (2022) in April, the asking price was."offers above $525k". I didn't end up buying it because I chickened out. This was "peak market" after all the covid hikes to prices. I had a look online and the house is now selling for $690k! (It was bought last year and now being sold by the new owners, who've had it less than a year) No way would I have guessed prices would jump that much.
Link added below
https://www.realestate.com.au/property/11-tadgell-ct-avenell-heights-qld-4670

I know its weird, and some people are like "why are you in debt to your cat?". Lately, maybe its silly, but I feel like I owe him.
I got him as a kitten when I was about 13, maybe 12, whatever. I raised him like he was my little cat child, and hes grown heavily attached to me. He only lets me be around him, everyone else he either hisses or runs away. He stays in my room, has his food, water, and litter box in there (he doesnt feel comfortable leaving the room).
Anyway, he's been with me through 5 breakups, mental breakdowns, ptsd episodes, losing my friends. Hes always there. Its crazy, he knows to let me cry for a bit and sits at the end of the bed. When I begin to calm down, he licks the tears off my face and lays down, then we both fall asleep.
Lately, after getting a car and a job, Ive been away more. He's always alone in my room waiting, sometimes I see him in the window. I like to go out a lot and eat or go to an arcade. My boyfriend got new puppies, and since I have lots of experience and knowledge on animals, I've been going to his house to help or educate.
Tonight, I came home and he meows. They werent normal. I found him outside the bedroom and just crying like soemthings wrong. I picked him up, checked his food and water, and put him down. He tried jumping right back into my arms. When I picked him up again, he held on tight. It just hit me that hes done so much for me and I've just been leaving him alone. I feel so bad for him amd now I'm crying while taking a crap. I'm so sorry kitty 😭

I’m 5’5 and 120lbs trying to get down to 114 I’ve been eating 1200 calories daily but once a week I end up binge eating like 4000 calories. Any body have any advice on this? Could it be that 1200 is too low for me? Most days I walk around 7 miles and in addition do strength training 5-6 days a week for an hour a day and on my off days from strength I run on the treadmill at the gym for about an hour in addition to the walking.

Never ever thought I’d make it this far. I definitely feel at some point in most days that ‘something is missing’. But I know that’s just my addict mind yearning for a dopamine hit. I’ve replaced it mostly with working towards the goal of starting my own business.. and good TV, lol. It doesn’t fill the void completely, but I’m not going back. Each day without thc gets a tiny bit easier, and I start to think about it a tiny bit less.
Not sure why I’m even making this post! I guess it’s a mixture of me being proud and wanting to keep myself disciplined on this path. Writing things down helps me see where I’m really at in my mind.
If anybody reading this wants to quit but is waiting, just know you can do it. 10+ years heavy heavy use 20x per day, and here I am 18 days clean. If I can do it you can do it. Here is how I started my abstinence for anybody wondering or anybody needing a quick pointer:

• set a date to quit! For me, I gave myself a FULL MONTH to keep buying and using , but at the end of that month I swore I would not pickup another sack. This gave me time to mentally prep. Well it took me an extra 3 days on top of that month, but I did end up finishing everything I had and giving my bong to a friend who knew what I wanted to do.
• go easy on yourself for the first week. Your hunger, sleep, and dopamine will be fuckeddd up. It’s normal. Eat whatever you want, even if it’s ice cream twice a day and that’s it. Just. Don’t. Use. Oh and your bowel movements will be weird also, took me 10 days to poop normal. I used melatonnin to sleep and that’s it.
• try not to drink too much, or any at all. I don’t use any alcohol but I imagine it’s easy to swap one addiction for the other, esp considering the social acceptance of alcohol in most countries.
• dont do it alone. Even if it means coming to this sub to vent, etc - do it. This place is one of the main reasons I’m able to be 18 days clean. Tons of like minded peoples who will reinforce your goals.

I really hope I can stay on this path. It’s finally starting to look up :) have a good one yall.

I stumbled upon this company that does mason jar cakes. They looked amazing, I wanted to get them for my sister. She loved them, they're small and she loves mason jars as well. I decided I wanted to continue to support this company, and I did. I bought a strawberry ice cream shortcake, and she was in love with the cake. Which makes me happy. My sister, she has anorexia, so for her at times it's really hard to want to eat.
I cherish this company for the cake that they made. Seeing my sister enjoy things that scare her bring me more joy in this life than anything I could hope for. I sent this email to them, thanking them and telling them about everything and it made them happy, so much that they said they were gonna read it out loud to everyone at the factory.
I'm happy to hear that, because it shows these creators their art doesn't go unnoticed, and that food, love, and compassion speaks volumes to the world. I love meeting people who are genuinely good people.

Hi! I retroactively put in a claim for an accident I was in January of last year in July of 2022. I did not know I could have my insurance cover the cost of repairs (USAA towed me to a shop and did not reach back out to me). After months of phone/chat tag I finally got on the phone with a claims adjuster on 03/23. I literally had no update on my claim and all details of it were removed from my account.
The agent informed me that the previous adjuster (who was removed from my case the day after I filed it) sent the info I had to a different department and they rejected my claim because I did not have photos showing the damage to my vehicle. I was quoted about $1.4k and my front tire popped off/axle needed to be replaced. I have an invoice from the repair shop with an itemized list breaking down the cost, which I sent to USAA. When I asked how it was possible they couldn’t reimburse me even a percentage of the cost, the agent got snippy and stated, “You need to take photos of the damage. It is in your policy packet sent out every 6 months.”
I was going to let this go, but I just checked my policy from Jan. 2022 and it states nothing about photos needing to be sent in with a claim. This was the first accident I got in where the car broke down and I did not know what to do.
Can anyone offer any advice on what I can do to fight their decision? I want to call back and point out that my old policy does not mention photo evidence as a stipulation for reimbursement. Which department should I call and/or who should I ask to speak with?

LPI (LP Information)' newest research report, the “Ice Cream Production Line Industry Forecast” looks at past sales and reviews total world Ice Cream Production Line sales in 2022, providing a comprehensive analysis by region and market sector of projected Ice Cream Production Line sales for 2023 through 2029. With Ice Cream Production Line sales broken down by region, market sector and sub-sector, this report provides a detailed analysis in US$ millions of the world Ice Cream Production Line industry.
This Insight Report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global Ice Cream Production Line landscape and highlights key trends related to product segmentation, company formation, revenue, and market share, latest development, and M&A activity. This report also analyzes the strategies of leading global companies with a focus on Ice Cream Production Line portfolios and capabilities, market entry strategies, market positions, and geographic footprints, to better understand these firms' unique position in an accelerating global Ice Cream Production Line market.
This Insight Report evaluates the key market trends, drivers, and affecting factors shaping the global outlook for Ice Cream Production Line and breaks down the forecast by type, by application, geography, and market size to highlight emerging pockets of opportunity. With a transparent methodology based on hundreds of bottom-up qualitative and quantitative market inputs, this study forecast offers a highly nuanced view of the current state and future trajectory in the global Ice Cream Production Line .
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of Ice Cream Production Line market by product type, application, key manufacturers and key regions and countries.
https://www.lpinformationdata.com/reports/617242/ice-cream-production-line-2029
The main participants
ROKK Processing Ltd
Tetra Pak Processing Equipment GmbH
Gram Equipment A/S
Goma Engineering Pvt. Ltd.
Technogel SPA
Puyuan ICE Cream Machinery
Vojta SRO
CATTA 27 SRL
GEA
TEKNOICE SRL
Laeif SRL
Pietribiasi Michelangelo
Segmentation by type
Mixing Equipment
Filling Machine
Homogenizer
Extrusion Equipment
Molding Equipment
Packaging Equipment
Others
Segmentation by application
Soft Ice Cream
Hard Ice Cream
Key Questions Addressed in this Report
What is the 10-year outlook for the global Ice Cream Production Line market?
What factors are driving Ice Cream Production Line market growth, globally and by region?
Which technologies are poised for the fastest growth by market and region?
How do Ice Cream Production Line market opportunities vary by end market size?
How does Ice Cream Production Line break out type, application?
What are the influences of COVID-19 and Russia-Ukraine war?
LP INFORMATION (LPI) is a professional market report publisher based in America, providing high quality market research reports with competitive prices to help decision makers make informed decisions and take strategic actions to achieve excellent outcomes.We have an extensive library of reports on hundreds of technologies.Search for a specific term, or click on an industry to browse our reports by subject. Narrow down your results using our filters or sort by what’s important to you, such as publication date, price, or name.
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Good day all,
I'd like some guidance or advice on my situation.
I'm a South African, living in South Africa. Between the years 2013 till 2022 I've worked for one of South Africa's largest Health/Short Term and Life Insurance companies. It's a household name I'm sure you may have come across or "discovered" along the way.
Between years 2013 till 2017 I've worked within the Short term space , within the call centre space and through hard work and recognition I became a Client Relationship Manager in 2017, I mastered all systems and process knowledge within the organization by then and was already instrumental in writing and creating servicing operating procedures for the company's elite client servicing teams.
In 2020 Covid19 happened and that caused the company to make a few restructures which caused me to be moved back to entry call centre level from my Client Relationship Management position. I had to fight for my basic salary to not be downgraded back to entry level and with much struggle the payroll and HR teams did it and kept my basic salary the same. Now being within the entry level call centre space I now felt very targeted by middle to upper management within the old work space. This was between 2020 and 2022. Suddenly there were written and verbal warnings of simple errors being sent my way , for things that every consultant on that floor is guilty of, like email spelling errors, encryption of document errors and system issues which effected calls. It felt like due to my salary bracket management and HR took every opportunity to inconvenience me at every turn, whilst still using my knowledge and expertise to still develop and create servicing operating procedures and techniques for their agents to use. In Feb 2022 I was eventually cornered to a point where I had no choice but to place my resignation. And for a year I went without employment.
In Feb 2023 - I got employed by a brokerage that dealt with and sold the same companies products. And later that same month found out that I have an employment block which restricts me from having any employment or affiliation with servicing or selling that particular company's products. I was never made aware of it. I was never told how long the block would be. And to my surprise I'm also not allowed to be issued assets or access ever again.
To my understanding, are these big corporate companies allowed to do such? Block a person and not allow them to ever apply for employment within a different area or product house? Will my case stand in CCMA /labour court?
Some advice please

Hi, I'm from Italy, south of Italy to be precise, I'm considering doing an Erasmus in Kaunas since it is my only and last possibility to do an Erasmus, I'm almost done with my second level studies and never studied abroad, I wouldn't think about it twice since I really think Erasmus could be one of the best experiences in life if not for 2 huge doubts:
Coming from southern Italy I'm used to winters between 4-10°C, since I should be going in september reading about -25°C scared the shit out of me, will it be traumatic to handle for someone not used to it? Is social life affected by it?
Talking about social life, here comes the second huge doubt, the city i live in has 3mil of pop, whole Lithuania has 2,8mil of pop, won't Kaunas, the second city in Lithuania, be a bit depressing for someone used to be in a chaotic and always crowded place?
Is the Erasmus life active over there? I'm pretty sure I can handle everything if I manage to join a good network of Erasmus students and make some friends but are there any students at all post-pandemic and during war times? Is there anything to do if you can't stay in the street since outside is freezing cold?
I'm sorry if my questions sounds rather ignorant, I'm totally ignorant about the situation over there and that's why I'm making this post.
I hope at least someone can answer me and help figure out what to do since I have till the end of the moth to decide it.
Much love and thanks🥰

You annoying the f out of me now you know damn well you just too scared to go in box talking about you’ll get banned babe stop fr making excuses, Sarah continue eating her up queen while you get bullied in the comments on masons live but you still in there ready to talk it out despite all that

20 AFAB (he/him) I want to preface this by saying that i do get year round allergies, and occasionally i do get a cough because of my allergies. It's usually a small dry cough and can be helped with me staying hydrated through out the day. I also don't smoke, but my parents do (not in the house, so it doesn't really affect me that much).
Around the last week of December 2022 (around probably the 24-26th) i got a common cold that was running it's course through my house (i live with my parents). I had 2 days where it was really "bad" for a cold, but it was mainly nothing i haven't had before. The cough that came with the cold was horrible though. I have a sensitive gag reflex, and the cough was very persistent and would constantly set off my gag reflex. And after these coughing fits I'd have to spend 30 seconds to 1 minute trying to stop myself from throwing up.
I was initially coughing probably around 4-5 times per hour. Around the 3 week mark the cough seemed to be starting to subside. But instead of fully going away, it has stayed. Now the cough isn't as bad as it was initially and most of the time doesn't persist enough to set my gag reflex off, but at least 1-2 times per day I'll get a really persistent cough that does set it off. I can now go hours without a single cough, but it keeps coming back. (And it's kind of driving me insane) It is currently a dry cough, but even drinking water when i feel the itch isn't helping it.
I am going to make an appointment with my pediatrician, but I'd also like to hear some opinions about what the problem could be. Or even some tips to help it subside a little until i can get in with my pediatrician.

Hello, I just adopted a female sugar glider joey last night and put a piece of my pajama I've worn inside her cage. When she first came, the breeder said she's tame but she crabs a lot. When I held her first time, she didn't bite but was quite jumpy and didn't stay in place. Anyway, though she's still scared, she's already eating and exploring her cage. She chose my pajama to sleep in, which I think is a good thing? As she will get used to my smell soon right? RIP my pajama though since she peed and pooed there, hopefully I can still wash it and wear it later 😅
This afternoon, I didn't see her moving so I was worried and checked on her. Luckily she's just fast asleep in my pajama. I gently talked and petted her through my pajama. She crabbed at first but eventually calmed down. Then I gave her a treat and put her back in to continue her sleep.
I am unsure if it's normal or not but is it possible for a tame sugar glider to crab a lot like this? What are the tips to bond with her? I had only hamsters before and I'm still scared of getting bitten despite that (the kind of bite that draws blood), so any tips on not getting bitten by a sugar glider? I was told that my sugar glider is tame and never bites like that but the way she's crabbing makes me worried.
Also I'm getting her a friend, another female joey soon as her friend is still not at the age to be weaned yet (around next week) so I'm confused how to bond the suggies once there are two of them?? Will having a friend make my sugar glider happier and be more open to bonding with me or will it cause them to be more scared to bond with me? I'm just anxious as I'm not even close with my sugar glider yet, not to the extent I'm not afraid of touching her and her not afraid of my touch, but I'm going to add her friend soon 😅
Any advice or tips will be welcome! I came from a place where proper care of sugar glider isn't really being advocated so I'm afraid I'm doing things wrong though the local videos or people said do this and that. Since I've seen suggies that are quickly bonded (can be touched/petted/sleep in the owner's palm) as soon as they're adopted from here so I wonder if I'm the one doing things wrong... I tried to do it slowly with my sugar glider but not too slow (as I would do to my hamsters), but people seemed to be doing it quickly here (grabbing and petting their suggies on day 1) and it seemed to work?

Two days ago, I broke up with someone I've had the best relationship with. It was a fairy tale that ended because of a very sad event in our lives. And because we were not on the same page about how to go through the dramatic change. He did not talk to me about his worries about our relationship. That made his romantic love fade away with each day, however he had hope that things will get better once the life is more stable and solid. He did not take direct action to fix things on his side tho. I did all the “lets talk about us”. Right until I couldn't do it anymore.
We said our goodbye yesterday. Around 6 hours of talking, crying, laughing, remembering happy times. Best breakup I've had after a serious relationship. We want to be friends. Not sure how to be friends if I am in so much pain right now. After the goodbyes I felt sad but calm.
A new morning - and I burst out crying in a street on my way to the hotel. I have a headache, my mouth, lips and my throat hurt because I cry so loudly. If feels like my body has been turned inside out, and left to sit there in cold wind. I know I shouldn't drink or smoke. I do not want that. I do not even want to eat.
I am alone very very far from home. We came here together. Now I do not know of we can leave together. Neither of us have homes cause our home is physically unsafe.
I have no other friends here and I do not know what to do to make this transition to being single as smooth as possible. I've met ppl. But those are just charting and chilling. Plus everybody gets high where I am now. I need someone to be near me not online. And I can't go back home right away : 1) it is unsafe 2) it is expensive 3) I am not ready to get on a plane alone. Don't want to spend 10+ flight crying because I am alone and it would be my first flight solo.
This is my third serious relationship. But I have never been 100% alone in between relationships. Since 2016. Fuck. How do I learn to be single? I am writing this because I am desperate. I read articles “how to get over the ex if you still love them” because I fucking do! We broke up because I was hurting because he did not love me as I loved him. And I know this was a right decision. And I am proud I did it. But damn. I am absolutely alone. I will start therapy soon. But what do I do in the meantime? To stay alive and not harm myself because I do not want to feel this pain anymore.
I wake up in the morning and before I open my sleepy eyes i know - it is there. It sits in my chest and under my ribs. It makes the inside of me so empty yet heavy.
I've read I should go out for a walk or a hike move and not sit at home all day. But hiking was our thing. How do I get over him if I am surrounded by memories of him all around?
I want to call him up and ask him to come over and just lay next to me. Because he is the only person I know here. I do not want to get back together. I just need a friend now. Is that a bad idea? Given that I cannot access my friends right away.

I'm an Indian 23 f and I graduated like 9 months back, I was extremely lazy right after graduation and it took me months to make a somewhat okay portfolio to apply. And now I'm so behind, so so behind, everyone else have jobs and I haven't been able to secure anything. I've been job hunting for 2 months now and I'm just dad because the time between my graduation and unemployment is increasing. And being Indian my parents are very eager to marry me off asap. They're waiting for me to get a job so they can start advertising me as a prospective bride. Some astrologer told them I'd be married by the time I'm 25 and I don't want to by 25. But honestly I'm just so worried that if I'm not getting jobs they'll marry me off to some guy and that my life will just end there. Although my parents are not that kind of people my parents look into education and jobs very seriously and there's no forced marrying aspect, they make sure I like the guy as they did with my siblings, so it's not gonna be any guy off the street, but I'm just worried that I won't be good enough to even get anyone either. I'm just so paranoid about being a loser and I feel like my nightmare is becoming a reality and all that keeps manifesting in the form if dreams and I've woken up on multiple occasions at night weeping because of my dreams. I'm unemployed and undesired.

I haven't been doing well, as of late. I am barely able to even take liquids. I managed half a bowl of rice, and some soy milk, today. Also, my electrolytes, in water. I am constantly nauseaus, and I cannot take it, anymore. I try to eat, but even seeing or smelling the food makes me meltdown, cry, or nearly vomit.
(ARFID+ AN, here. Also, autistic and sensory sensitive. To explain why even the sight or smell of the food is fucking me up so bad...) I think the nausea is also contributing, to my inability to eat.
I took a pantoprazole, and drank some more hot soy milk. It's not helping. I have had nausea, plenty of times, before. Never this bad, though.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you

TW mention of self harm and suicidal thoughts
" Glass children are those who are growing up in a home where a sibling takes up a disproportionate amount of parental energy "
Well. Disclaimer : I am not a child, alright, I am 20. But I've been thinking a lot about the last 10 years of my life, and I am, as much as it pains me, a glass child and I've been since my sister's born.
Of course, at first, it was (I thought) only because I was the first born, the big sis, you know.
But 3 years ago, my sister discovered Tik Tok. Everyone knows Tik Tok, right? Well, we all know what kind of stuff we can find on that app! I, myself, found the description of a "glass child" there. I use Tik Tok frequently.
My sister always had problems with her friends. When she was younger, she was always in the middle of some arguing between two or three girls, never really had a day where she wasn't coming home with what I call "girl's gangs" problems (you know when two best friends suddenly split and get mad and get other friends to form like alliances and stuff to b*tch on the others? Ya know, old stuff, we've all been there).
She was never wrong in those situations. She was coming home laughing about how she was the peacemaker and never creating problems of some sort. Thing is, I know my sister. Like the back of my hand. Alright? I just... know when she's lying. Still, to this day, she always brags about how good she is to manipulate people and make them do what she wants. Alrighty girl, weird flex.
Well, she got to high school (what we call secondary one in Canada), and then, she started having anxiety. Like panic attacks and all? I've had those, still do these days, so I understood. I became her protector, her therapist, calming her down when my mother critized her for exagerating. I knew what to do, and I gave up all my energy to take care of her, of her mental health, as a good old sister does.
She made it to the second year of high school (secondary 2) with difficulties. Panic attacks again and all. 3 years ago, as I said, she discovered Tik Tok. I know Tik Tok and its algorithm : there are specific fyp where you can find videos about the same topic over and over again. I suspect she was in a dark side of Tik Tok, a depressed one, where you can see all sort of sad/depressing things and stories (I know, I've been there too, now trying to avoid it as much as I can because it affects me mentally and I start spiralling).
Cutting her hair short ( I guess the "funny mentally hill" trend where you cut your hair on a headbutt and dye it, I know, been there too).
Sexuality explored too. Like she was trans for a while and wanted us to call her another name (she isn't anymore, she told me so about 3 months in). I always respected her choices and calling her what she wanted to be called at that time. She was a kid, she was 13, so she was discovering herself and her preferences and all. No problem with that.
She started hanging out with some people like that too. She had a non-binary friend, a trans one, a furry one, etc. She was having fun with them. Great people. She finally had a group.
Some of them, however, had the same experiences we all hear about on Tik Tok. You know, some of them not in a great home, or in a bad relationship with parents, depression, anxiety. Hate to say it, but you know those people on Tik Tok who (unfortunatly) are bullied on the internet for being... like... huuuuh (wondering how to say that without insulting anyone) like stereotypical? Like... you know those who wants a cat litter in a classroom in a unironical way? Some of her friend were a little extremist on that plan. Again, never really bothered me.
We have two parents, a mom and a dad. They divorced when I was 7. My sister was 3. They never fought in front of us, never heard them, it was really a suprise. They went their separate ways. Me and my sis got used to go to each of them for a week, and then go back to the other for a week. It was fine, working good. My parents are both accountants, my mom teaching it too. I had a strong disagreement with my mom in 2019 about one of her (numerous) boyfriends. The only one i really hated with all my heart. This resulted in me leaving her house for about a year. My sis was still doing 1 week/1 week. Apart of that, my parents are pretty basic ones, never abused us and we always had everything we needed.
I started college. I loved it, still do, and was finally starting my life as an adult, I started a great job, was doing good in school and... was still helping my sister and my parents with her anxiety/ panic attacks. Even learn in my degree how to deal with people who disorganize.
Then, the cutting started. A lot of her friend were doing it, she told me. And then she started having those episodes where she was cutting herself. Never with something sharp, like a knife or else. But with like compass and crayons? Then, she started having suicidal thoughts. Then, and that is where it all went down, she called 911 for suicidal thoughts. She was home alone and the police called my mom.
What had she done? Scratch herself... with a pencil.
I've had panic attacks before. And suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind but I never acted on them. Never. And I can't imagine myself doing it. I talked about it, of course, with my best friend, someone I trusted and it was making me feel better. How did I know my sister was doing that and having those thoughts? She just said it, casually, at dinner with the whole family. Like... girl? It really got the mood down, everyone worried and she was like... glowing? I don't know how to say it.
She was always a bit dramatic and had a way of making everything about herself, but it was never about negative things. More like flexing a good grade or whatever. She was always talking about how depressed she was, how she was suicidal, and the things she was saying were... like straight up a depressing tik tok. Like one day I found something she said ( I think it was like "you don't understand how this feels it is like blablabla i don't remember) WORD FOR WORD in a Tik Tok. It is like she wasn't expressing her feelings, but made up phrases you find on the Internet when you type "panic attacks" or "depression".
After a second call to 911 for taking 10 advils, she got admitted to psychiatry. At that time, I was watching my parents fall appart, running around to appointments for her, my dad having stress acnea (at 45) and both of them exhausted. It was a real drama. Everyone in the family talked about it. It was the only subject of discussion, the only thing that was on everyone's mind.
I was hanging out my seat in class with my phone on my belly to be sure to feel it vibrate if something happened. We were all in a bad place.
And then, we got a diagnosis of autism.
I'm sorry, what? Where does that come from? I mean, alright, we'll deal with that one.
But then. That's where all went down for me. Sis started therapy, changed school, went to an adapted classroom for people like her and with disabilities. My parents were still all over the place.
Except where I needed them.
I was 18, at that time, starting adulthood. I have ADHD. It is really hard for me to respect a schedule, think about every appointments I have, every homework, every luggage I can't forget to bring to mom's or to dad's. I was also giving my all in school, never missed anything, straight A's and working my ass off.
I started realising that everytime my parents texted me was to ask/talk about my sis.
Every. Single. Time.
They'd ask me to bring my sister her lunch that she forgot, to go get her when she was down, or get her to her appointments like I didn't have a whole fu**ing life I was trying so hard to keep on line.
I gave all my free time to her needs and my parents's. I educated myself on autism, defended her when my mom was thinking she was faking because I wanted to prove I was there for her. That I was the life saving good sister. I never, ever, heard her say thank you.
Never.
The only compliments my parents were giving me is "thank you for getting your sis for us. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for doing things with her."
I went trough some stuff, at that time. I hurt my knee and was failing my physical tests. It got to the point I wasn't even sure I liked my degree anymore. I was having a really hard time. But my parents never saw my pain. I have a tendency to hide things, sure, but I was really trying to talk to them about how I was feeling. They were listening, and letting go. Why didn't they start worrying for me like they did for my sister? I don't know, don't really care now. I was having suicidal thoughts too, I wanted to yeet myself in a tree and even stopped driving so it wouldn't give me options. They left me alone, because everytime I tried bringing up the fact that I was not in a good place, my sister was disorganizing at school and they needed to go to the hospital to be both there for her while she fainted from hyperventilating. Every fcking time I was talking to my sister, she was acting like she lived trough everything and was telling me she knew more about suicidal thoughts than me cause she went to psychiatry. Excuse me miss gurl, but who was fcking there to help you trough your panic attacks hun? How do you think I know so much?
Seeing I had practically no support from my already exhausted parents, I took matters into my own hands and started going to therapy. My doctor also prescribed me with anti-depressants. I was going to be ok... on my own. I've had really bad days, real hard ones. But I got back on my two feet. At least, I think so.
School was over and it was time for summer break. I had a job I loved on a boat. I've had a blast on that boat, I wasn't jumping from a house to another, I wasn't always in luggages, I had my own room like a little appartment of my own on the ship. I slowly started to discover a backpacking/adventurous side of myself. I needed air, was travelling far from home as soon as I had a week or two off of the boat.
At the same time, my sister had stopped self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. She's was now in a school for adults to finish her 4th and 5th year of college. She wasn't in a special classroom anymore. Changed friend group.
But here's the thing. Cause there is always a "but".
I started realising how much my sister was toying with us, with my parents. As soon as the diagnosis fell, she became unsufferable. For example, when I say I hate loud noises and strong light, she says she has it tougher because, ya know, "i'm autistic". I can't say something without her saying she has autism and that's why she has it worse.
When I have a good grade or I've hit a PR at the gym, I tell my parents because I am happy. I try to see life the good way, now. I'm quite proud of all the personal work i've done.
But she can't have a normal day.
It is always "ho I hated school because the light was making a sound" or something to point out she has autism.
I talked to one of my friend who is a social worker, and he told me autism is usually apparent in children. My sis was diagnosed at 15. But, and hear me out, all the things that make her autistic according to her psychiatrist... she's never really had them before.
You remember at the beginning of this rant how I told you I know when my sister is lying?
Well. I don't think an autistic person possess the flex of "being able to manipulate people so easily to get what you want".
She's always bragging about how smart she is compared to us because, you know, "ShE cAn FeElS eNeRgiEs AnD pEoPlE AnD iT AfFeCts hEr". Well, honey, I don't think that is autism. It is always little comment about how special she is because she can't do this, or that. Like I have ADHD, alright? I'm stimming all the time. I don't point it out to people for fun, actually, i'm quite ashamed of it sometimes. She bought all those fidget toys and brings them ALL to school to show how much she needs them.
One reason of why I am mad, as you can (unfortunatly) see, is my father's attitude.
The fact that my sis had episodes of suicidal thoughts and acts traumatized him. With reasons, don't get me wrong.
But now, she's clearly living well of drama and stereotypical behavior she never had before.
My father is fucking afraid of telling her no.
Like man, I don't think that if you ask her to unload the dishwasher ONE FUCKI*NG time that she's going to kill herself. Like come on.
One time, she called him cause she fainted cause she was hyperventilating cause the cleaner at her school wore a different hat than usual. Or another time where she learn that two teachers were eating togueter at lunch and not in the cafeteria?
I know my sister. She is clearly using him. She's got him hooked with a silent threat of hurting herself or making it impossible for him to receive a phone call without thinking she committed.
And. She. Fucking. Knows. It.
She left my mother's house because my mom wasn't buying her shit.
She left with all her drama about how she could appologize but she needs her space to think about what she (mom) did.
BRUH did what?!?!?!? It was so sudden, what are you on about?
All her life, she was good at one thing : breaking people's relationship.
I know, because I'm not blind.
She's the type of person that looks at you after saying your deepest secret in front of everyone and be like : "oups teehee🤪 you know i can't keep a secret" or she plays dumb "i didn't know it was a secret oupsis" with this little dumb face that I know by heart means "I win you fuck*ng idiot".
She broke the good relationship my parents had by pretending mom told her something when it wasn't right or vice versa. When she's at dad's, she always talks about all the things mom does that sucks. When she was at mom, she was always talking about how bad it was at dad.
I was in the middle like , bruh, it isn't even that bad. And of course, my parents both being proud individuals started feeling supperior than the other and downgrading the other in front of us (wich you know my sis was repeating over and over to everyone).
But because my parents are fucking blind they let her riled them up against each others. So now they don't talk. And when they do, it is always to argue about how to take care of my sis.
To make a clear example of how she gets everything she wants :
She always tells me that she wants a Mira dog. Like a service dog. She's going to keep creating dramatic scenarios like that until my father cries and decides it is the last option we have.
But no. After the dog, it is going to be another need for neurodivergent people that she's probably going to see on Tik Tok.
Because yes, she faints and yes, she is hyperventilating. But I can create scenario in my head and make them real too (maladaptive daydreaming oups). Anxiety works like that : if I start hyperventilating for 45 seconds, my body jumps to survival mode and the mammoth thing ang boom, there you have your panic attack.
Yes. She is mentally hill.
But she's not autistic. She does not need a service dog. And she can't continue leading people on like that.
She's in need of negative attention. She hates when we compliment her, she hates when we wish her happy brithday and all. But she's always talking about how she did bad at this exam and ho people please comfort me. There's always something going on with her.
She stopped self-harming and having suicidal toughts. People started living normally.
So she restarts panic attacks but she already has a psychiatrist so she needs more.
Lets go to the hospital, something's wrong with my heart. Then she's got the pleasure of walking around school with a machine to record her heart thingy.
Nope. Nothing wrong.
People start forgetting.
Whoops now she's fainting and we don't know why.
Hospital trip yeah.
Nothing's wrong.
Then she buys a machine to keep track of her blood pressure.
Does a doctor prescribed it?
Nope. You can just buy it so she did. And she could do it like in the morning, at lunch or at night, but no, she absolutly needs to do it in front of everyone, making noise in class while the teacher is talking.
And i'm starting to get fed up.
About a year into this nightmare, 3 years ago, I stopped feeling.
I wasn't able to feel anything. And that is why, today, I can write this and unfortunatly for some, it will be controversial.
After my downfall, when my sister was in need...
I did not care.
At all.
She could do whatever she wanted to do. She could have as much trip to the hospital as she wanted.
I . Did . Not . Care .
I was going to class.
And my phone was on silent.
I don't want to know. I don't care. Don't you get it? Mom, dad, leave me alone. You did it well, right? Continue.
I am an horrible human being. My best friend tries to comfort me saying that my heart of stone is a form of self-protection, a defense mechanism that I developped 3 years to protect myself and not live trough what my sister put us trough without knowing (or caring?).
Still.
I am an egoist.
But I do not care.
You want to make me feel like a glass child?
Alright alright.
I'll deal with it.
But now the glass is fed up.
And it is about to break.
Good bye and thank you for coming all the way here.